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Travelling under different names

21 replies

womanofacertain · 28/01/2020 23:41

I have just booked a holiday for myself and DS to go long haul! First time ever! However it has just been flagged up to me that I need his fathers permission to be able to take him out of the country. DS has his fathers surname on his passport so we are travelling under different names. His father has been NC since he was born (8 years now) and I wouldn't know how to go about contacting him. Has anyone else travelled like this? Has here been an issue? I have flown plenty with him short haul and had no problems. What do I do???!?!?! I don't have a court order for residency as I have never needed one. But surely there must be many people in the same position?? Any advice gratefully received

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balletpanda · 28/01/2020 23:51

Where are you going?

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Newnamewhodis1 · 28/01/2020 23:55

I'm not sure but I guess this happens aaaall the time. I'm sure that if questioned you can explain. And why do you need the father's permission?? Lots of people travel solo with their kid.

What I really came here to say was - perhaps you should have the same surname as your kid?

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Newnamewhodis1 · 28/01/2020 23:56

Take a copy of the birth certificate

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Findumdum1 · 29/01/2020 00:10

Why would she change her name to some deadbeat who she may not even be married to?

OP I have a different surname to my children (because why should I change my name and they didnt work double barelled) and I do exactly that, take their birth certificates with me. I also take a letter from their father with his passport number, address etc. Nobody has ever asked for either though and I fly with them alone regularly.

The only time its been queried is when one of them went away with a friend and the friend's mum, she just showed them my letter which had my details and passport number etc (not even notified).

You will be fine with birth certificate just in case.

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Findumdum1 · 29/01/2020 00:11

notarised that should say

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NC4Now · 29/01/2020 00:14

You just need his birth certificate to prove you’re his mum. I travel solo with mine all the time and we have different surnames. They’ve been away with my mum too and I just write a note

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MiniGuinness · 29/01/2020 00:14

why would she change her name to some deadbeat who she may not even be married to?
I would imagine that poster meant change his name to hers. Because why would she give her child the name of some deadbeat who hasn’t bothered with his kid since birth?

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wibdib · 29/01/2020 01:17

There’s been this situation asked about on here recently.

I’m sure someone posted that they were able to do something - maybe Court? Solicitor? something legal anyhow to be granted something that said she could travel with her dc, no need for dad’s signature.

Worth having a google for it on here with dates in last month or so.

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Newnamewhodis1 · 29/01/2020 10:36

Yes exactly @miniguiness . Give your child your name, not the one of a sperm donor

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pinkyredrose · 29/01/2020 10:38

Why oh why did you give your son his name?

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BlingLoving · 29/01/2020 10:39

Travel with his birth certificate.

If you are going to South Africa there are more strict rules but I am almost certain those have now been relaxed for non-South African families. Easily checked though.

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Grape0 · 29/01/2020 12:46

Why oh why did you give your son his name?

The OP could have remarried...

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Hellohah · 29/01/2020 12:49

Me and DS have different surnames. Travelled abroad so many times... I take his birth certificate but have never been asked for it. He's 14 now, but when he was younger he was just asked who I was and on we went.

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pinkyredrose · 29/01/2020 15:09

12:46Grape0 Confused i don't follow

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exexpat · 29/01/2020 15:22

You may well be fine, but it depends where you go. Canada, South Africa, Mexico and a few other places have a reputation for being strict on formal parental permission, but other places are not at all bothered.

I have travelled extensively with two DC who have different surnames from me (they have my surname as a middle name but no one ever notices that). DH died when they were small, so I used to carry their birth certificates and DH's death certificate. I have been challenged about it several times: multiple times returning to Heathrow from various destinations - I just answered factually (or the DCs were asked who I was), and didn't have to show paperwork; twice returning to the UK on Eurostar - they actually wanted to see the certificates once; once entering Canada - they asked where the children's father was, I told them, didn't have to show paperwork.

Is DS's father named on the birth certificate? If you have no contact with him at all, I wonder if getting some kind of sworn statement witnessed by a lawyer might help if you get challenged. What would DS say if an official asked him who you were and where his dad was?

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Pieceofpurplesky · 29/01/2020 15:30

DS and I were questioned going in to New York - and we have the same name. I was asked why his father wasn't there and if he minded DS being away. I wanted to answer 'because he's a twat' but found myself lying with a much more diplomatic answer

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womanofacertain · 29/01/2020 20:04

Thank you all!
Off to Mauritius!!! Once in a lifetime trip and was ( up till travel agent pointed this out) so excited. Small inheritance and DS and I deserved a treat. He loves swimming and snorkelling so seems perfect
The sperm donor was very insistent that I put his name on the birth certificate as surname and at that point I was madly in love and drowning in hormones ( my excuse). Thought we were going to get married and all that. Oh with the experience of hindsight!!! He buggered off six weeks later never really to be seen again

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pinkyredrose · 30/01/2020 10:31

Oh wow Mauritius! Have a wonderful time OP, your son will have the time of his life!

As an aside could you change your sons name? Is the sperm donor on the birth certificate?

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Hellohah · 30/01/2020 10:37

Ah - I went to Mauritius a few years ago with DS. Are you stopping at Dubai?

DS was 10, he has his Dad's surname. We had no problems at all. On the way out, he was asked at Dubai airport who I was, he answered "my Mum" and we went on our way. Wasn't checked at Mauritius or on the way back at all :)

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KittenVsBox · 30/01/2020 10:41

Changing surnames wont change things. You can still be questioned even when you have the same surname.
Might be worth looking into an official letter stating no contact since 2011. Definitely take the birth certificate.
Have a fabulous holiday.

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Vagndidit · 30/01/2020 11:04

I have a different last name from DS (couldn't be arsed to do all the paperwork after getting married). We've been questioned a few times when travelling without DH, in the Netherlands, and connecting through Canada on route to the States. I travel with a letter from DH.

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