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Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

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Original poster

Alone with a 6 yr old

19 replies

Washingnerd · 29/12/2019 00:33

Hi all just after some advice, I have booked a family holiday to thailand 5 nights chaing mai, 6 night Phuket then onto phi phi for 4 nights for myself, DH, DD16 and DD6, now my DD16 is being aweful, I will spare you the details but is basically refusing to go on this trip which is in 5 weeks, me and DH have agreed that we cannot leave her on her own so he said myself and DD6 can go alone and he will take care of DD16. I desperately want him to come as its such along time without him and I fear DD6 will miss him terribly so part of me thinks I should just not bother with the whole trip. The other side of me thinks I should just go and take the experience and time to spend with DD6, weve had a crap xmas due to dd16 behaviour and deserve an adventure but I'm scared of being alone (we have been to Thailand once earlier this year but just 1 resort on a package holiday).
Need to add iv already spent 4k on this holiday which I cannot get back so that is a factor in my decision.... what to do??

OP posts:

BF888 · 29/12/2019 01:09

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through it with your eldest. If I were you I would sill go, get to have a lovely trip with your younger daughter, as you say it would be an adventure and a really special time for you both! I’m sure you can make some changes to the trip so that you’re more comfortable it being just the two of you.

Bluerussian · 29/12/2019 01:14

I wouldn't go without your husband. Can somebody feign illness at the last minute so you can claim on insurance? I don't normally advocate lying but £4k is a lot to lose. I'm not sure you'd be safe in Thailand on your own with a small child.

Does your daughter say why she won't go?

eveshopper · 29/12/2019 01:29

I desperately want him to come as its such along time without him and I fear DD6 will miss him terribly

You don't mention your 16 year old here. What about her?

MsDFye · 29/12/2019 01:49

I'm a single parent and I've traveled quite a lot on my own with my DS. I've always found that people are very kind when they see you on your own with a kid and will go out of their way to help. It's only 2 weeks - you might have the trip of your lives!

RoonyTunes · 29/12/2019 03:49

Any family or friends you could send the 16yo to. Hopefully somewhere she would be REALLY bored? I would be beyond livid tbh to have a family holiday ruined like this.

If not then I would go with your 6yo, Thais love children and the places you have booked are pretty mainstream so I don't think you would be unsafe. Not the holiday you planned but better than no holiday.

WatchingTheMoon · 29/12/2019 03:52

"I'm not sure you'd be safe in Thailand on your own with a small child."

Oh please. I'm assuming she's not planning on going to Pattaya or whatever. Thailand is very safe for travellers.

Bluerussian · 29/12/2019 09:17

Maybe it is.

However the op doesn't want to go without her husband and she has been before, this year.

Bluerussian · 29/12/2019 09:19

I wonder why her daughter is refusing to go and if she was asked before the booking was made. She's not a little child and has a right to say yay or nay but preferably in advance.

The chances are she will change her mind and go but at the moment, is putting her parents in a difficult position.

rooboo1 · 29/12/2019 09:37

I went with my 5 year old for 3 weeks by myself,everything was fine. Now going China for three weeks just us again.

Original poster

Washingnerd · 29/12/2019 10:54

Thank you for the replies,

@Bluerussian she doesnt want to spend 2 weeks with us and doesnt want to miss seeing her friends! I have tried to reason with her but it's pointless she now says she will not get on the plane and I cannot physically force her to. Yes she did initially want to come when we sat down and booked it as a family earlier on in the year. I was hoping she would change her mind but I definalty dont think that will happen, i attempted to talk to her about it lastnight and said we cant leave you so we all go or nobody can go and she still refused.

@eveshopper I dont mention her because I have come to the realisation that she does not want to come or spend anytime with us as a family, shes acting out and has ruined xmas for us all due to her behaviour.

@RoonyTunes it was an option but due to events that have happened it would be unfair for us to leave family members to deal with it.

OP posts:

WatchingTheMoon · 29/12/2019 11:10

@Bluerussian But your point wasn't that she didn't want to go but that it's not safe, which is just nonsense.

PullingMySocksUp · 29/12/2019 11:13

@Bluerussian how can you feign illness for the insurance company? You’d need a doctor’s note.

TrophyCat · 29/12/2019 11:18

Absolutely go, have some quality bonding time with your 6 year old. You'll be fine with just the two of you.

On a side note I'd make the 16 year old get a job and pay you back for the holiday they agreed to go on and then backed out of - actions have consequences, no?

Bluerussian · 29/12/2019 13:40

I've heard people say that Thailand is not a place for a woman to go alone, that's all. I've never been so cannot be sure, it may be nonsense.

Feign illness to a doctor to get a sick note; I've never done it but people do it for work - d&v, a virus, all sorts. I've no doubt many would think that is highly unethical, a victimless crime, etc, but £4k is a heck of a lot of money to lose.

Washingnerd, I'm so sorry your daughter is being difficult about it but it is possible she will change her mind, teenagers are like that sometimes.

SJaneS48 · 30/12/2019 09:22

Sounds like you are having a rubbish time at the moment so sympathies! Your eldest DD may change her mind (teenagers are very mercurial) but I’d go ahead and plan to go with just your youngest DD. 9 years ago, my then 16 year old DSD did something similar and sent us a text the morning we were supposed to be flying as her then boyfriend didn’t want her going away for 2 weeks. It did really put a bit of a cloud over the holiday initially but a holiday isn’t just about one person and you, youngest DD (and your DH who unfortunately can’t come) should go and make the best of it. It will be a bit more work but see it as a chance to spend some time with your youngest who might have been a bit on the back burner while you’ve dealt with lots of drama. Both DSD and my eldest DD had particularly selfish and horrible periods as teenagers - both are very nice and responsible women now so grit your teeth & see it through to the other side!

HoFuckingHoBolloxToChristmas · 30/12/2019 11:07

I've heard people say that Thailand is not a place for a woman to go alone, that's all Rubbish! Prepare and plan!

Make sure you read and understand specific safety issues for Thailand, plan your trips well and you should be fine. What an adventure for your 6 year old - two females on an adventure. There are so many positives here it would be a shame for you and your daughter to miss out. I think your husband is being amazing by volunteering to stay at home and missing out on the trip so you can enjoy it.

I've been alone to Thailand twice; had the 1st night booked in a Bangkok hostel then travelled to wherever took my fancy. I made sure I knew the no-go areas, knew the tourist scams and had practical safety measures in place (door alarm if anyone tries to enter room uninvited etc) and great insurance cover.

I would be letting your teenaged daughter know she will be expected to pay back every penny she has wasted by backing out. She needs to know how her selfish actions affect the family, including family finances. (ps... I'll come with you!!!)

jeaux90 · 21/01/2020 13:01

Go. I'm a single mum and travelled long haul with my daughter loads.

Original poster

Washingnerd · 21/01/2020 17:40

I am going, lots of plans underway only 2 weeks to go!

OP posts:

lovelyupnorth · 23/01/2020 06:17

@Washingnerd

Shit situation. We’re lucky that if we left our behind they’d go to their very strict GP if in a similar situation.

But we are also lucky that we are happy to leave our 17 y/o DD home as due to a-levels she didn’t want to travel in school time and that was the only time we could go.

I’d also be making DD1 pay back her portion of the trip from either their job or pocket money.

Enjoy the holiday.

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