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Original poster

Vancouver to Belfast with 5 week old baby - terrified!

9 replies

highlander · 28/09/2004 23:32

In my halcyon baby-free days, I promised the folks back home that we'd bring the sprog home for a visit when he's 5 weeks (in 3.5 weeks time). DH is best man at a wedding during the visit (hence the timing of the trip).

You know what's coming next....... I'm totally sh*tting myself. I can barely cope at home (even with DH on paternity leave) as DS is awake from 7pm until 1am most nights and I get really panicy and tearful during this period as I feel I'm doing something wrong. I'm worried that DS will howl all the way home.

It's a 17 hour journey (door to door, including check-in and transit time). I really don't want to go, but DH won't listen. He's got the tickets and sorted out DS's passport. Everytime I hear him on the phone to his parents I'm in floods of tears - it's me who's going to have to cope with DS at the other end in his parent's house. It's not like we'll be in our own home.

Don't know what to do. I know DS will be fine on the flight and won't get jet lag as such, but it's me I'm worried about. I don't think DH is being realistic and I'm heartbroken that he won't support me.

OP posts:

Aero · 28/09/2004 23:36

How long will you be 'home' for HL? (Also from NI myself originally).

MTS · 28/09/2004 23:37

Sounds like you desperately need a break from DS in the evening, and tbh as if you may be a touch depressed. The first six weeks are IMHO quite grotty and horrendous. I felt as if a thunderbolt had hit me, and wondered if I would ever be able to go to the loo when I wanted to, never mind anything else.

Are you bfing? If not, I think you really need an evening out, and if you are you can arrange for a break of some description by expressing. How is DS during the evenings? Is he constantly feeding, crying, or just awake? Are you managing to sleep when the baby is sleeping, or are you trying to do the housework tasks?

How much help are you getting from DH?

MTS · 28/09/2004 23:40

Must also add tho that a long haul flight does sound rather gruelling. Even if you are bfing, DH can and should be winding/changing/calming etc.

Aero · 28/09/2004 23:42

You need to give yourself some time - your baby is only 1.5 weeks old and your body is in shock as will be your emotions. It sounds like you might have difficulty getting out of this and your ds will be fine, but perhaps if you could just try to relax and not get too worked up about the trip just yet (easier said than done I know) and concentrate on your new baby and tell your dh you need LOTS of support.

mears · 28/09/2004 23:58

highlander - it definately is a huge undertaking you are planning and no wonder you are balking at the thought of it. However, it can be done. My cousin flew to the UK from Zambia with her first baby when she was 10 days old ( I thought she was off her head).

Guess what - she stayed with us and we all cooed ove the baby and nursed her so much that my cousin actually got a rest
Your DS's feeding pattern will have stretched out a bit more by the time he is 5 weeks old. You will have a brilliant milk supply because he will be latched for most of the flight because you will want to keep him quiet ( took DD to Florida when she was 8 months old and I fed so much to keep her quiet I had huge boobs the next day).
Your DS is doing what all babies do in the first few weeks - like to feed constatly if you let him. If you feel that it is too much, take yourself off to bed and let DH take care of him for 2 hours. He could rock him in the pram or sit with him skin-to-skin on his chest. Do not fall into the trap of believing he must be attached to you the whole evening. I used to sit with a pinky in DS's mouth to try and get him to sleep. Probably would have been better to try a dummy really. It takes a good 3 weeks to get breastfeeding well established. If you feel he is latching well and you do not have sore nipples, you could try a dummy if you feel upset by it all. I would only do that if DH isn't able to pacify him though. It is early days yet Highlander but I am sure you will feel more confident in yourself in a couple of weeks' time. It is all still very new. Make sure your DH takes all the responsibilty of packing cases with minimal supervision from you. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is taking care of yourself and the baby. You will have lots of people clammoring (sp) to help when you get to Belfast you'll be lucky if you see your DS. You will be fine honestly.

mears · 08/10/2004 09:29

How's it going Highlander?

mears · 08/10/2004 09:29

How's it going Highlander?

mears · 11/11/2004 09:13

Did you go Highlander?

Original poster

highlander · 11/11/2004 19:49

no - DS's passport took too long to arrive. Due to fly tomorrow night (Friday 12th), arrive in Belfast on Saturday night. Few days there then over to Aberdeen to see my family then down to Newcastle for work stuff. Hasten to add, this all DH's idea................

Totally knackered at the mo' - DS is 1lb short of doubling his birthweight at 8wks and is on the 75th centile for height as well. Delighted, of course that it's all due to my milk, but it leaves me whacked with nothing to spare!

Will let you know how it goes! Can't wait to tuck into a white pudding supper

OP posts:

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