What plane seats to book as a family of 4

[Kaffiene]

Until now we have always sat in a row of 3 the DS in my lap but we have a 5 hour flight coming up. DS (20 months)) be on my lap for take off & landing & I have booked n extra seat for the actual flying time.

DD (11) will have a window seat with DP next to her. I can’t decide whether to book the 2 seats behind them and risk having to ask someone to move if I need to walk DS up the aisles or to book the seat next to DP and one across the aisle, but that feels like we won’t be making the most of the extra room when I have DS on my lap. Probably over thinking it but what do you do?

Four seats in a row, with the aisle in the middle

2 and 2
preferably dh with toddler a few rows away

I would book in two adjacent rows, aisle seat and one next to it. Having a window is not a big enough deal compared to ease of access to aisle. I wouldn't put an 11yo (or any child really) in a window seat as they will definitely want to get up more frequently than anyone else and that's two people bothered rather than just one, whether or not they are family members or strangers. But you can still see the window from the seat next to the window seat. Having the pairs of seats one in front of the other gives much better opportunities for games like peekaboo.

I would do 3 and 1 across the aisle. When toddler is on your lap you sit together, then you / dh can split having the single seat.

I would do 4 seats, 3 in a row and a single aisle seat next to them. One of you has the single seat on each leg of trip. It’s easier for toilet trips and we have done this many times.

A fairly even split so far.

DD is a wheelchair user so has the sit in the window seat - so no one has the climb over her in case of an emergency 😢 Also there are no Wheelchair accessible toilets on a plane. DP has to sit next to her as you can’t be in change of a wheelchair user & an under 2. Love the throught of sitting far far away from the toddler 😂. I think I am going to put us behind them so he will only be kicking DP or DD. I feel like if we do the 4 in a row I will spend all my time leaning across the aisle.

Well your update changes it a lot! I'd book ds and dp in window and middle. Ds in middle behind DP and you in aisle behind.

Seems to solve every problem you have

What plane are you flying on, as the seat configuration makes a difference. If it's a 3 3 or 3 3 3 I would book aisle/middle aisle/middle on the same row (bcde) and forgo the window. If it's a 2 4 2 then just book the middle 4 seats. If you really have to book a window then I'd go with 3 and 1 across the aisle. I wouldn't book 2 and then 2 behind on the window, you'll be trapped in your seat with a toddler for 5 hours.

I would book window/middle then aisle/middle behind.

Depends who you are flying with. We are a family of four and wanted to book a child with each parent (so I didn’t have them both) but we weren’t allowed had to book 3 seats together.

Business class is best

having travelled with a young family more than 20 times i can definitely say a 3+1 split across the isle is easier for all and gives you a bit more manoeuvrable room. 2+2 was hell on earth and miserable for the people sitting next to us.

Given the update, you need 2 sets of 2.
I'd do window/middle for DD and DP.
And middle/aisle the row behind for you and the toddler.