Words of wisdom for mum (and dad) to be

[JimJammum]

A close friend is due to have her first little one soon, and I was wondering - if I had to give one piece of advice what would it be? So then MNers - what would your one piece of advice be?

(maybe I can collate them and give her lots to help her through those sleepless nights and hairy moments we all have!!!)

Go out a lot now , while you still can ! Enjoy a meal without interruption or worrying whether the babysitter is ok or axe murderer in disguise, going to the loo without being followed or listening, sleep and relaxed bedtime. Buy as little as possible beforehand , you will manage and supermarkets are open 24 hours a day if you really need something.

Buy ready made milk, steribottles, dummies and colic drops beforehand - for those middle of the night dramas. Oh, and relax, enjoy, it's a journey and it's GREAT!!!

Take loads of photos, make a journal....

Persevere with breastfeeding and seek help if needed.
It is soooooo worth it on all levels,not least because you can leave the house/country at the drop of a hat and retain a great deal of pre baby freedom.

Oh yes , you think you'll remember every day, week, milestone frever but you don't -record it as you go along.

There are things you don't need to bother with if they stress you out. My daughter doesn't get a bath every day - or even every other day. She's still here and only slightly grey.

If you find the night feeds hard then try sleeping in a different room from your partner for the first few weeks.

At least that way you won't be worrying about waking him up and you might find it easier to get back to sleep, I know I did.

It doesn't mean you don't love him but I just found it made life a bit easier in those hard early times.

Margoandjerry such wisdom. I read a certain book and only recently (DS is now 16mths) have we discovered that the hot bath is not some magic panacea that helps him sleep, so we're down to 2-3 baths per week.

Trust your instincts
Rest as much as possible for as long as possible afer the birth
There is no such thing as a baby "expert", just people who may know some possibly useful stuff, who write books about it to make money

If anyone gives you parenting advice - ignore it.
Their experience is not the same as yours.

You can (and will) make lots of mistakes but it's okay and within six months you start feeling confident in your parenting skills.

This is eroded completely by the time the child is two.

whomovedmychocolate - you have hit on a fear I have....

My daughter is 9mo and we do pretty well most of the time. Your post confirms my fear that it all falls apart at 2ish and you spend the next 4 years shouting about putting shoes on and not throwing food and getting off the swings NOW.

i wish someone had told me that each phase that seems endless and impossible actually is short-lived (e.g. difficulty bfing, feeding, now even ds terrible 2s seem to be coming to an end!)

Margo - my DD is also nine months - and has started to have tantrums!

I've seen all my nieces and nephews go through the beelzebub stage at 2 though and by three they are back to being nice little humans

Buy her Rachel Cusk's book "A life's work" which describes life with a new child baby.

Advice? Don't buy a single bottle or milk or dummies. Buy in some house cleaning in advance.

Some people would say hire a life in maternity nurse but I never liked the idea of that.

Take no advice from anyone but smile sweetly when they try to give it.

Get out of hospital the same day - 6 hour transfers are briliant.

In the first week have a gatekeeper at home who doesn't even let most calls or visitors get through. You need rest and no one around except very occasionally.

Buy 5 x the number of babygros you think you will need. The baby will be sick or leak on about 5 a day at least. Your washing machine will be constantly on.

Agree contact now, in writing.