First time away with baby

[Areeza]

My partner and I are planning to visit my family (up north) with my 3month old next week. It will be our first trip away with baby.

My mother would like us to stay few days but I had insisted on just staying the night. Purely due to the fact it's our first time away and if we stay, it'll just be me and baby as my partner will be leaving us to get back to work.

He tends to do feedings in the evening and night where as I cover morning and afternoon. My baby is a very fussy drinker - been refusing milk since birth. So he is the parent who will force her to feed 4/5oz whereas I don't give her the bottle if she won't drink. So she'll take 1oz the most with me. (Force may not be the right term here like not choking her more like ensuring she finishes her bottle). Surprisingly she won't put up too much of a fight with him compared to if I was to do that.

So I fear if i stayed i wont be able to feed her and look after her properly - what if she needs daddy? My family are very excited to have her over and are very supportive but it's the night feeds i'm concerned about as I wouldn't want to disturb them.

I have been wanting a break for sometime and this could be it like I said ease the pressure as family will support so can rest more.

I'm just in two minds as what to do. How did you feel before, during and after your first time away with baby?

I don't think this is about going away it sounds like more of a feeding issue. Different bottles? Tongue tie?

It's so stressful having a baby that won't feed properly! Is she growing properly? I bf for ten weeks and it was a constant worry when going out, as it took a lot of faffing. When we switched to formula it was still a real fight to get the milk into him. It's recently become a lot easier (he is now 4.5 months). I think we are hardwired to become really anxious and stressed if we feel or worry our baby won't eat. I'd advise you not to commit to anything you don't feel comfortable with. We cancelled an overnight stay with relatives when DS was 7 weeks as I didn't feel confident I'd be able to feed him. Worst case scenario is that you have a screaming baby that won't feed and you're miles away from home. You really don't want that, it'll be horrible for both you and your daughter. I'd also suggest asking for help with feeding. IME you can't force a baby to feed, they'll just bring their milk up. Could you ask your partner what he does that means she feeds better with him? It sounds like feeding her is making you quite anxious and stressed, which is a real shame. I remember my DM feeding DS when we'd just switched to formula and there was a lot of pressure to get DS to grow. I was amazed she was actually enjoying it, I only associated feeding with stress and pressure. I hope it gets easier for you soon. Don't guilt yourself into doing anything you don't feel comfortable with!

Thank you. We've tried different bottles, teats and milk. Doc has checked there's nothing wrong. Some babies are just fussy eaters. Thankfully she's gaining good weight. I guess I'm just gonna have to throw myself into the situation and hopefully overcome this worry.