Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Any other mums that don't drive?

46 replies

mumisfun · 03/09/2004 21:41

Am I alone? Have failed my test 4 times - last test I took when pregnant with ds, now I'm pregnant with no.2 (5 months) and still no further. I have given up on buses - but walk lots, and get the train up to London for days out and to meet my dh for lunch - but still wonder am I the only mum left today stuggling buggies up and down steps? How will I cope with 2 babes under two?!!! Ahhhh! Dh says I need to do an intensive course but we just don't have the cash at present....oh dear. Looks like I really am going to be getting myself a rein and saddle as I trot off with kids on my back!! And double buggies? Any suggestions...... I 'm scared.

OP posts:

JuniperDewdrop · 05/09/2004 20:31

I passed my test years ago and drove for a few years but don't now. I used to have panic attacks and that put me off driving but to be honest i enjoy getting the bus and trains with the boys. I live very close to a supermarket and the doctors. Buses are every 5 minutes to town and our railway station excellently situated.
Does anyone else get nagged though for not driving? I'm sick of friends and family saying I should drive again.

nutcracker · 05/09/2004 20:36

No i don't and i hate it.
I never really wanted to drive until I had Dd2 and found it a bit of a pain on ther bus with two.
Now i have 3 it is horrendus and I hardly ever take all 3 on the bus with me unless my mom comes.

I am eventually going to have lessons but can't really afford it at the mo.
I'm praying that I can drive by next years summer holidays but i doubt it.

marthamoo · 05/09/2004 21:01

I can drive but I don't. I passed my test about 12 years ago (first time!) drove a handful of times, and have now completely lost my nerve. Dh does all the driving. The thought of driving with the kids in the car just makes my blood run cold. It would be nice to drive - dh works long and anti-social hours and I could take the kids places at weekends if I would drive the car, but I can't see me ever doing it. There was a thread about this a while back and I was reassured when tamum said she is exactly the same as me

linnet · 05/09/2004 21:09

Neither Dh or I drive. I'm not sure we could even afford a car if we did drive, in fact I know that we couldn't. However I've just signed up for driving lessons, first one is on the 14th. I took lessons years ago when I was about 17/18 but they sort of fell by the wayside and I never went back to them. I lived in town for years so didn't need to drive. Now we live just out of the city centre but still in easy walking distance to anywhere we want to go, so it's not a major thing for us.
But in the winter when it's cold and wet and blowing a gale I often think how nice it would be to drive.

Now that dd2 has arrived I really feel that I should learn to drive. Dd1 gets invited to parties in places outside of town and we are then reliant on taxi's to get there and back or else have to rely on someone with a car to get us there. I figure in years to come with there being a big age gap it will be easier to get them both to the different places at roughly the same time that I know they will need to be, iykwim. My mum never learnt to drive either and always relied on buses or walking. I dream of being able to go on holiday and hire a car rather than choosing holidays where we can do plenty without having to figure out transport every day.

twick · 05/09/2004 21:11

I failed 5 times between age 17-25, then gave up. But I really wish I hadn't given up. I'd so love to be able to drive now but am in inner city London so can't quite face learning to do it here.

emsiewill · 05/09/2004 21:20

Failed 4 times when 17 and gave up. I didn't need to drive for a long time after that - was a student, so couldn't afford a car, then lived in London and worked for BR so me & dh got free/reduced train travel. I only felt the need to start learning when pregnant with dd2, and no longer living in London (I was 29) - it was the same thought of how will I cope with 2 on the bus? Passed on the second (6th) attempt, but made sure I wore baggy clothes to hide the fact I was 6 months pregnant.

Now I still use public transport a lot, I suppose I'm just in the habit of it. It shocks me how many people don't even consider buses or trains. I went up to North Wales (from South Wales - sounds easy, but it's not) the other weekend, and couldn't face the drive (had done it 4 times in the previous 3 weeks), so I took the train. No more expensive than the petrol cost (we have a family railcard), and a lot less stressful. Mind you, dds are 7 & 5 now - might have been a different story when they were 3 and 1.

slotnicki · 05/09/2004 22:29

I don't drive..I used to think that I was the only mother who didn't in my neighbourhood. I then welcomed about 5 others to my 'non-driving' club. I keep thinking that I should learn in case of future need, but am frankly really scared of the roads. My dp drives and it is really scarey to see how some other drivers behave.
Luckily I live in a part of London where we have good transport links. I always find it a bit embarrassing, especially at work to say that I don't drive and have sometimes experienced pressure from friends.

Fairyfly · 05/09/2004 22:37

I can't drive and it is a pain just now but good for my bum.Walking doesn't bother me that much as i enjoy it a lot
Double buggies get on trains and buses quite easily tbh, they are smaller than you think. I now have a board and a buggy though, hardly ever use it as my boys have become little walkers too.

MadameButterfly · 05/09/2004 23:28

I don't drive, but have sat 3 or 4 tests in quick succession a few years ago.

I have just asked DP for and intensive driving course for Christmas and he has agreed.

nightowl · 06/09/2004 01:50

i cant drive...i really hate it. i had lessons when i was 18 and gave up and again at 21...nearly hit another car and i burst into tears and made my instructor take me home. she said i was the most nervous driver she had ever seen. i want to drive but im a gibbering wreck every time i get behind the wheel. i need to now though...it really restricts me where work is concerned..i have to look for jobs close by or i cant get there and to the childminders etc. nightmare.

Titania · 06/09/2004 07:30

I have 3 kids under 5 and I live in a stupid little village. I don't drive and have to get (infrequent!) trains and buses everywhere. I sometimes wish I could drive, especially when its pouring with rain and I have to do the school run with 3 moaning kids!!! ATM the kids are happy hopping on and off buses and trains, as its more of an adventure. I don't have the inclination atm to learn to drive again....I have failed my test 3 times so far and the last time I got in a car to drive, I was 8 months pg with ds 1 in october 1999! We can't afford the driving lessons either at the moment anyway....

DH says it is a shame really as we have a nice car sat on the yard all day everyday the I could be driving in the day!

fio2 · 06/09/2004 07:54

I can but dont drive

motherinferior · 06/09/2004 09:01

This thread is making me feel SO much better. I finally passed my test (after four tests, five instructors and 17 years) five days before having dd2, but I hate driving. There, I've said it. I don't do it if I can help it, and am feeling slightly daunted because as of today I HAVE THE CAR in the daytime (DP has just started a job which he doesn't drive to).

The good thing is that I am just writing an article on 'green parenting' and on how leaving the car at home is the most important thing you can do. So our non-driving is actually a Very Good Thing and we should continue it as a point of principle!

BooMama · 06/09/2004 15:23

Am very relieved to see how many others have posted saying they can't - or even, like me, they can but don't like to. I still walk everywhere. Even when it's going to be bad weather I think I will still make ds walk to school as I can't bear the thought of parking anywhere near the busy school...

Cadbury · 06/09/2004 15:36

I am a very nervous passenger and have been in quite a few accidents in the past. They are my excuses for never having learned to drive. I have got as far as getting a provisional licence but can't quite make the move to booking lessons. They cost so much! Me and the kids walk everywhere or get the bus (or train for further afield). I don't mind using public transport and walking. Its the main exercise I get. (Not that it does much for my figure). I know that my independance is getting more and more restricted by noit driving but basically, I'm just scared of it! I need to build up some confidence (full stop) to be able to do it.

fabarooney · 06/09/2004 16:27

I tried learning to drive when I was 17 but my instructor kept telling me how bad I was and I lost my nerve completely. I gave up the lessons and was quite happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. When we moved to Australia, things were so far apart, public transport was not as convenient and often it was too hot to go out walking for large parts of the day. I started taking lessons when I was pregnant with dd2 but decided to try learning on an automatic - 80% of cars in Australia are automatics. BLISS!!! I just had to put the thing in "drive" and go. Only had to worry about steering the thing. None of that faffing with gears and "biting points". Had lessons for 6 months and passed first time!!! Don't let horrible instructors and stupid macho attitudes to "real" driving (manuals only!) put you off. Have to say, it took a very short time before I became completely dependent on the car.

suzywong · 06/09/2004 16:29

slight hijack (although it did take me four attempts to pass) - where are you in Oz, fabarooney? I have just moved to Perth

codswallop · 06/09/2004 16:39

I cant imagine not driving! its so liberating

Carameli · 06/09/2004 17:31

To all those learning out there, don't give up just keep going. It really is wondeful when you get your licence. I grew up in London and never bothered when I was younger but last year when I was pregnant I took lesson. Took my 1st test when I was 8.5mnths pregnant and failed, oh well. Then when dd was about two months old I took a few more lesson and took my test a week before Christmas and passed. What a present to myself.

It has certainly changed my life just being able to put dd in the car and drive to parents or friends or even just going to do a big shop and now having to carry loads home with me. It also means I can go and look around the local area at my ease.

dinosaur · 06/09/2004 17:44

I don't drive (i.e. haven't got a licence). DH has got a licence but hasn't driven for nearly 20 years!

Northerner · 07/09/2004 11:04

I don't drive either. I've failed 3 tests (the last one I was heavily pregnant with ds) and have now lost the inclination. I walk 3 miles 3 days a week to work, and on days off I walk or use the bus, and I manage just fine. I know it would benefit me enormously if I could drive, but quite frankly I think I'd rather give birth again than sit another test.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread