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Holidays

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Original poster

Do I pay for their flights?

21 replies

SammyT10 · 08/07/2018 20:30

I'm in my twenties and so is my partner. We had flights and a holiday booked later this year to stay in my mum's holiday rental villa. After booking my partner's parents hinted to come so I invited them and they booked separate flights to join us.
We have recently split and my partner made the decision to cancel our flights.
After talking to my mum she explained that as I was not going anymore she wouldn't feel comfortable taking the hit for the cost of the mortgage, management fee and cleaning fee - plus not taking a booking for three weeks especially as she hadn't even met her parents. It's been a very hard breakup and in amongst all of this hurt her mum has asked me to pay half of hers and her parents flights?
Is this a fair ask? I am so torn with what I should do as it is alot of money

Many thanks

OP posts:

EveningHare · 08/07/2018 20:33

oh thats a tough one - whats your money situation like?
whats your ex partners money situation? and whats your ex partners parents money situation? a

is there somewhere else they could book near the villa? so they still get a holiday?

could your mum rent slightly cheaper?

tangoed2 · 08/07/2018 20:38

Was it a joint decision to split or was it you/your partner who ended it?

SomeKnobend · 08/07/2018 20:40

They booked their own flights and cancelled them, I certainly wouldn't entertain the idea of randomly sending them money to compensate them for their own decision. Cheeky fuckers.

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/07/2018 20:40

Can they use the flights and find some new accommodation?

Original poster

SammyT10 · 08/07/2018 20:44

So basically I just earn minimum wage and so does my partner. My partner's family are in a let's say stable situation. There are plenty of places surrounding the area where they could book rather than loosing the flights but they have now decided as we aren't going they don't really want to go either.
As for who broke up with who, it was pretty mutual but it was down to insecurities and just wanting different things. I really am torn as I am being told I am morally responsible to pay for their flights

OP posts:

notacooldad · 08/07/2018 20:53

You are not morally responsible for other people's decisions. I understand the reason why they cancelled but they had other options such as staying in the region.

Justmuddlingalong · 08/07/2018 20:54

How much 💰 are you expected to pay?

augustboymummy17 · 08/07/2018 20:56

Could your mum offer the villa for a slightly reduced rate to them?

gekiort · 08/07/2018 20:57

I’m bloody baffled at the mortgage and management fee comment, what is that all about?

verystressedmum · 08/07/2018 20:57

I thinking I'm missing something ..why are you expected to pay half of the flights?

gekiort · 08/07/2018 20:57

Sorry just reread it’s a holiday rental and not her place you were to be going to

BrexitWife · 08/07/2018 21:01

Why wouod you be morally responsible??

They paid for their flights and unfortunately cannot have a free accommodation anymore.
It’s tough but it’s also life.
They are not worse off now than they were if you had stayed together as they have already paid for the flights.

Don’t pay.

Akire · 08/07/2018 21:01

Seems to be two issues. Your mum wants money for non letting the holiday home as no one is using it?

Your partner wants you pay for price of their flights? (Well half)

If your mum can’t relet then she was willing to give it to you for free or cost price? Can see why she may want money if she’s losing.

Would be fair you both pay half costs to both sides of the family if you can.

rollingonariver · 08/07/2018 21:02

Nope I definitely wouldn't

mimibunz · 08/07/2018 21:04

You are not responsible for their decision. It’s regrettable but it’s really just down to bad luck.

BrexitWife · 08/07/2018 21:05

No I think that the Op’s mum wants to be able to rent the villa as it wouod cost her money to have someone there (the ex parents) anyway.
She was happy to do it for her dd and partner (and parents) but not just corn rhe parents she has never met.
Which is fair enough. The mum would be loosing the rental income but still paying fees.

So she wouod prefer if the ex parents weren’t coming anyway.

greendale17 · 08/07/2018 21:05

I wouldn’t pay

schoty77 · 08/07/2018 23:10

No, don't pay. Definitely not.

Helloflamingogo · 08/07/2018 23:15

No chance. Is your ex paying the other half?!

These things happen, it’s crap but they have other options. You’ve lost your own flights so why pay more out? Will you and your Mum go out instead?

Fedupgirlfriend27 · 08/07/2018 23:26

Apparently so but I'm not so sure!
I always got on with their family so I feel really guilty but I didn't cancel any part of the holiday. It was all taken out of my hands. I'm not sure if we will tbh but I did say that if I went out they would still be more than welcome to join but the offer as declined which I thought would happen even though it's a big enough villa! Tbf I would have let them still go without and issue but it wasn't my decision to make an my mum said that as far as she was concerned she was letting me have the villa to invite who I wanted too.. so I do understand her point of view x

astoundedgoat · 09/07/2018 08:09

Not in a billion years are you morally or in any other way responsible for their flights. Make it crystal clear that the house is definitely no longer available and has now been rented to paying guests, and you are sorry that your ex's patents will miss out on free accommodation, but that's how things roll after a break up. You don't get to cherry pick the perks of a girlfriend with access to a villa in a hot place.

I gather there is no major reason to keep them sweet-ish, like children/custody?

You don't have to feel guilty at ALL.

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