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Holidays

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Original poster

Would you go on a one off holiday without your kids?

46 replies

shinook123 · 07/04/2018 15:19

I already feel guilty just thinking about it.
We've been married 16 years and have six children between us.
We took the eldest two on our honeymoon with us (we didn't have the younger four children then).
We've always had nice holidays with all our children both in the UK and abroad.
The past couple of years have been quite stressful and I've had a few health issues.
Our family have offered to have our children for a week next year,saying it would be nice for us to have a break just the two of us,a second honeymoon sort of.
On one hand it sounds lovely,maybe a Greek island somewhere we can chill by day and explore a bit,enjoy a nice meal in the evening.We choose our holidays based on kids so usually end up in All inclusive with waterparks etc so they are not quiet or scenic if you know what I mean.
We couldn't afford to do two holidays abroad next year,one for us and one for the kids but would stretch to taking the kids on a UK break,centre Parcs or maybe Alton towers etc...So the kids would also have something to look forward too.
Our kids will be aged between 12 and 16 next year when or if we go.
Has anyone been on holiday although their children and not felt too guilty.
I'd hate to go away and be miserable feeling guilty especially if I see other kids with their families there.
But at the same time it would be so nice to have a holiday just the two of us after a hard few years.
I know we have years when the children are grown up but I've got IBD and can't foresee how my health will be in years to come.If I'd be well enough to travel abroad.
Just be nice to hear from other people's experiences

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 07/04/2018 15:21

Honestly? No, I wouldn’t.

Bubblysqueak · 07/04/2018 15:22

I'm going away next week for 5 days without dc and dh and can't wait !

Butternutsqoosh · 07/04/2018 15:24

100% yes I would - and do, slightly different for me as they go to their dads and vice versa, but being in your situation is do it no question!!

BarryTheKestrel · 07/04/2018 15:25

Go. You need time for you as well.
Your kids will have a great time staying with family and doing fun things with them. You'll have a great time spending time together and relaxing. I find even a weekend away makes me a much better wife and mother. Being able to reconnect with my husband and having a moments peace from DD really helps me relax and focus.

Isadora2007 · 07/04/2018 15:28

Definitely at those ages. Not If they were under 8 though.

fedupofdrama · 07/04/2018 15:29

I have been on a 4 day long trip on a holiday to somewhere not really ‘kid friendly’ (similar to Venice) without dd she was less than 1 year old

I would do it again and infact dh and I will be going away together for a big birthday in a year again similar to above

BUT I feel she deserves a holiday too and wouldn’t do it at the detriment of a 2 week holiday with her

Momo18 · 07/04/2018 15:29

Yep, done it loads of times and kids were fine

Thunderblunder · 07/04/2018 15:34

DH and I go abroad for up to 10 days every year without our kids. We have 5 and our youngest is 13. We've been doing this for the past 11 years. We take our DC away every year as well alternating between this country and abroad.

MallorieArcher · 07/04/2018 15:36

I went on holiday for 5 days with DH and left DD's with my mum, they loved it, she loved it and I slept for what felt the first time in ages, they were 5 and 7.
Did it again a few years later, again they stayed with my mum and were spoiled rotten. As long as they are safe then why shouldn't you have a holiday

Lonesurvivor · 07/04/2018 15:39

I wouldn't sacrifice the family holiday for a couples holiday. My compromise would be keep the main family holiday and have a shorter break away ourselves.
When we've gone away ourselves for short breaks it feels much longer than the week/ten days we usually spend on family holidays simply because all our time is spent suiting ourselves. Less time is spent organising everyone/thing and more spent enjoying ourselves!

Loandbeholdagain · 07/04/2018 15:40

At those ages it should be fine. Your youngest is almost a teenager. I’ve been away overnight without my kids but not longer as they are little.

SweetIcedTea · 07/04/2018 15:42

As this is MN you'll get lots of posters saying they wouldn't, presumably they don't let their children go on school residentials, if they think their children can't cope without them for a week.

It's absolutely fine, my DD happily stays with grandparents, why wouldn't they be OK?

yikesanotherbooboo · 07/04/2018 15:46

We went away for a long weekend once and I missed the children. We have occasionally been away for a night or two since then for family events of no interest to the children. If I was a sahm I would feel very differently I suspect.
As far as the children 'missing out' , I don't really think they will. They'll have a lovely time and it sounds as if you need it.

Oblomov18 · 07/04/2018 15:47

Absolutely. You never even had a proper honeymoon, on your own. All couples need time on their own.

Brakebackcyclebot · 07/04/2018 15:49

100% I would go. And 100% not feel any sort of guilt.

seethesunaftersnow · 07/04/2018 15:50

Get something booked and have a great time!

Oblomov18 · 07/04/2018 15:50

Dh and I went for a long weekend to Barcelona for my 40th. My sil looked after the 2 ds's.

Ds2 begs to go and stay with other sil for a week each summer - she has loads of dogs and he loves dogs.

I don't get this: I can't be away from my children for more than a few hours sentiment.

CuriousMama · 07/04/2018 15:53

Yes they'll be fine at that age.

My step dd has gone to Japan for 2 and half weeks leaving her just gone 4 year old and 18 mth old. Her dh has gone. Dgs1 is so unhappy it's awful. She hasn't rang them ☹

bellsbuss · 07/04/2018 15:56

We go away abroad every year just the 2 of us and it's bliss. We feel no guilt as we take our 4 children on holiday on at least 4 holidays a year, uk and abroad. We know they are being looked after and it's a time for us chill and have quality couple time. Go for it and enjoy

MarmiteTermite · 07/04/2018 15:59

I would do a long weekend city break just the two of you and then have a family holiday for all of you.

Original poster
shinook123 · 07/04/2018 16:24

I didn't expect so many replies so quickly!
I should have stated that we won't be having our annual family fortnights holiday next year anyway.
Dd 15 has her gcse s next year and the school provides extra tuition all over the Easter holidays which I feel is super beneficial and necessary for her to attend these classes.
Whitsun week she'll be in the middle of exams so be revising.
We can't go the end of July as my eldest dd20 has her graduation,we need to travel for that .
August we have two close family weddings spread out in the month,so that month is out too.
It's no way an option to take them out of school.We have done in the past sometimes but obviously gcse years are critical.
We thought we'd have time in August for a long weekend or a Monday to Friday to fit in a family break with them.And then if me and dh go it would be mid September.
Grandparents who are fit and well and no way elderly will stay at our house,our kids be in school/college so grandparents will have peace in the days.I know kids will enjoy grandparents spoiling them with fish and chip suppers and sweets and evening board games.
Thank you all for your replies.
I can't really cope with city breaks due to my illness as if I'm having a couple bad days I need to be close to a loo too often.Not much fun in a city that you don't know.So would definitely be small apartment complex with a pool by the beach.Dh wouldn't like a city break either he's a pool and sun worshipper.He hates shops and hustle and bustle.
We'd choose somewhere quiet that we know the kids wouldn't really enjoy but appeals to us.
I've never left them so this is all a bit strange for me.Me and dh don't even have nights out,maybe once in every two years if we are invited to an evening reception etc...
We are a close family and do everything together.Im only just getting used to dd20 not being home and coming on holidays with us.

OP posts:
backaftera2yearbreak · 07/04/2018 16:31

Go away every year without my child. Have done since he was small. He spends time with family who live far away and adores their company. He also stays with my ex husband.

Sunshinebeach · 07/04/2018 19:05

Yes, have done it a fee times and left them with grandparents, everyone has been happy. But we also do lots of holidays with the children

Sunshinebeach · 07/04/2018 19:05

Few times not fee times

Sunshinebeach · 07/04/2018 19:08

Formentera is perfect for couples.