breaking the news of a holiday without the children.....

[Sarr]

My Husband and I are off on Holiday in April for a week to a nieces wedding in mexico. We are going without our almost four year old daughter and her 10 month old baby brother.(flight too long and very costly and to be honest a much needed regrouping for me and the Mr!) Their grandparents will be coming to stay for the week in our house over easter. The problem is I dont know how to tell her and when to tell her....I feel very guilty about it... If she knew we were going to a wedding she would be gutted! She normally loves spending time with her grandparents but recently has become very 'mummy' orientated. Any advice?

Your DD will be absolutely fine! Go forth and have some grown-up fun, safe in the knowledge that despite the suffering DD may mete out to you, once you're half way down the road, the grandparents will have her distracted and onto something else. My advice is to start mentioning it a 2 or 3 weeks out, just in passing, as in 'how much fun you're going to have with the grandparents'! Maybe line them up to do some fun excursions so you can prepare her for those. Emphasis the in-house preparations for the grandparents arrival, nearer the time but I'd tend to pack after their bedtime and stow the cases where they can't be seen as that might be too strong a visual prompt to the fact you're going. Obviously they need to know but I think the more low key you can keep it, the better. If your DD will get upset at the idea of missing a wedding, don't tell her. I must admit I was economical with the truth to my DSs, now 5 and 7 as in 'Poor mummy's got to go and do some boring old work' when actually I was going shopping! Alone! Try and see it as a great opportunity for you and DH to get some quality time without the kids which will hopefully see you return more relaxed and possibly less stressed, ie more able to be the parents you want to be! Enjoy.

And let's face it, guilt comes with the territory!

MY advice: don´t give any clue that you are feeling guilty, otherwise she will think that she really is missing out on something or that you re doing something wrong.. You´re not!