What is all inclusive in a European resort REALLY like?

[Millionprammiles]

We've yet to go abroad on holiday with dd (in-laws live near the sea in UK so tend to go there) but dp is fed up of the UK weather. Personally I can't stand the heat/beach/sitting in the sun but dd is nearly 4 so am feeling a bit guilty for the rain soaked holidays.
I don't want to spend the week cooking or camping and would like there to be other kids/activities. Dd isn't a strong swimmer so something more than just the beach/pool.

Depending on what day of the week it is my view of all inclusive is either:

Dd plays happily with other children from like minded families.
Dd can't get enough of the creative kids club run by enthusiastic staff.
Clean, safe beaches and clean, safe hotel pools and general air of peaceful calm.
Healthy fresh meals.
On site reliable babysitting means dp and I can have dinner in peace.

Or:
Dd miserable as site is overrun by unsupervised older kids.
Kids club is dire.
We're exhausted as everyone else stays up drinking half the night listening to full blast Europop.
Babysitting is scarce/unreliable/not suitable for a hamster.

Please tell me which is closer to the truth?

Why don't you go somewhere off-season so you get weather in the 20s, not the 30s? It'll also be way cheaper! I went to Crete in May for that reason, and Lisbon in November (which was great - weather in the 20s and wall-to-wall sunshine, quite a break from rotten ole fog and drizzle here).

We've been to several Mark Warner resorts.

It's not cheap but we are willing to pay it for the kids activities . We have a big family and all they want to do is play with other kids and do activities. They all sail, swim, cycle and windsurf .

The kids club staff are great .

The beaches and kids pools are clean and safe.

You will not get peace and calm going to a family resort in the school holidays . However some resorts have adult pools .

Food is buffet style so it can get repetitive is you go for 2 weeks

They have evening babysitting for younger kids and activities for older ones , so you can have dinner in peace.

Theres kids tea about about 5pm, where your 4yo can throw fish fingers on the floor and you won't be embarrassed .

If you want a quiet time and cool weather, go out of season.

It's not luxurious, private , peaceful or romantic. But it's great if you want to do different things, especially if one of you is active and one likes to sunbathe/ read/ shop.

DH goes off exploring the local area and I sail and windsurf . Lots of people play tennis or go mountain biking while their partner sunbathes or swims .

Just to add if you don't like heat or going stir crazy than a off season cruise would actually be perfect!
AI in a resort out of season or near the end can be a bit sad - running stuff down before they close.
A cruise is fresh all year round. As someone else pointed out you get off somewhere new everyday (European cruises obvs) so you can have dinner by the sea in the south of France one day and Rome the next.
One of the things that always seem to happen on holidays with children is getting stuck into a routine. A cruise has been one of the few that that didn't happen.

Would your dh cope with Holland do you think? I see duinrell recommended on here all the time, and it won't be as hot in July there. A sort of Dutch centre parks with a theme park next door :)

Misty - I think I'd be better with the Dutch climate though dp/dd would never forgive me if it rained...
Have heard good things about Holland family hols (inc the Centre Parcs there).

Sounds like she would love a holiday village. As well as the kids club and entertainment they also have swimming lessons and all the swim instructors are amazing. for a bit more luxury - a sensatori might suit although the 4 yr old would prefer an HV.

I agree with Barbaraofsevle - Club Martha in Cala Egos on Majorca sounds perfect for you - go self catering as the ai isn't as good value!

Is it possible to find a villa on a resort?? So kids club, playground etc but villas rather than a hotel? I can only seem to find one or the other.....

I thought Lykia world in turkey had those facilities.