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Original poster

Will I need to get DH to write a letter of permission to take my dcs out of the country?

27 replies

CharleyDavidson · 10/01/2016 19:01

We are together, married, no problems. He is happy for me to take the kids on holiday without him as he has no desire to travel and has no passport.

Will I look suspicious, travelling on my own (short haul, balearics) with the dcs? Will I be stopped like I've read on other threads?

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 10/01/2016 19:50

Hi,

Yes you need to get your husband to write a letter. Have a look at this:

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

It's possible you won't need to show it, but it's probably better to be safe than sorry.

InanimateCarbonRod · 10/01/2016 19:55

Yes. When my DD flies alone to go visit her grandparents in Europe I have to write a letter and give her a copy of my passport. I also write a letter saying that her grandparents and uncle all have full permission to consent to emergency medical treatment. Better safe than sorry.

ChilliMum · 10/01/2016 19:56

I have travelled a lot with my dc without my dh and my dp have travelled with them too. We have only ever been asked for it once but I always carry it just in case.

Blue14 · 10/01/2016 19:57

Yes, travel with the letter if you can. I can't, as no contact with the father, and have been refused entry.

madmother1 · 10/01/2016 19:57

I've been abroad loads of times with my DC and have never given it a second thought!!!

tribpot · 10/01/2016 20:01

I've only been asked what my relationship is to my son when travelling so far, but I always carry a permission letter.

Original poster
CharleyDavidson · 10/01/2016 20:02

It hadn't even crossed my mind, and I didn't take any such documentation with me when I took them via tain to DLP last year. I shall ask him to write a brief letter then, before we go and sign it, although I can't inc his passport details as he hasn't got one.

OP posts:
dontsufferfools · 10/01/2016 20:02

Wow! I am amazed by this.

I have travelled abroad , every year since birth, with my older two and never asked permission, never had his permission (didn't ask!) and have never been stopped anywhere in the world.

But if the general consensus is to get a letter then I definitely would.

madmother1 · 10/01/2016 20:08

dontsufferfools......I'll definitely be getting a letter prepared too!

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 10/01/2016 20:14

How could they prove the letter is from the DH though? I could write one for Charlie and surely security would be nine the wiser Confused

MagpieCursedTea · 10/01/2016 20:30

I thought it was only if you had a different surname to you children?

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 10/01/2016 20:48

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2544426-Passports-When-other-parent-refuses-permission-to-take-children-abroad

Not just for different surnames, no.

Branleuse · 10/01/2016 20:55

no you dont. Theyre your own children. You do not need anyones permission to take them on holiday unless youve been specifically barred from doing so.

You may be asked to prove theyre your children if you have a different surname, but ive travelled with my children without their fathers and only once did someone get funny with me about it, and that was on the dover calais ferry. They kept asking for proof and I just said its my own son, all my details were on the passport application and I was not asking my ex husband for any permission to take my son on a holiday out of principle.
They did let us through in the end. I think I frightened her Grin , but it doesnt usually even get that bad. They just ask if im their parent, and they ask the children and thats it.

I write a letter if my mum takes them out of the country, but she specifically asks me to

DragonRojo · 10/01/2016 21:08

I have only ever been asked whether I am the mother, but no letter of permision. If the father wanted to stop the mother from travelling with the children, he could have the children's passports taken away. I must have gone abroad with DS on my own over 50 times and have never been asked

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 10/01/2016 21:28

Try flying into South Africa, Mexico, Canada or the USA without a consent letter and other relevant docs....Individual countries have their own guidelines and regulations, check out the sadface story on the other thread....

Blue14 · 10/01/2016 21:36

we were stopped going into the states, but a couple of years ago was travelling with a friend who also didn't have a letter, I got through, but she was stopped.... crossing the channel to France!

Deux · 10/01/2016 21:37

Just out of curiosity, does a father require permission of the mother?

limetimemummy · 10/01/2016 21:42

I've travelled to the USA and to France recently without any kind of letter but having seen some of the news reports recently I think its probably better to be on the "over prepared" side and, if possible, have the letter if for no other reason than to make sure there is nothing that could put a spanner in the works of a lovely holiday/trip.

Blue14 · 10/01/2016 21:52

The odd thing about the crossing the channel occasion, is that there were two of us, two single mothers, in the same car, with one child each with us, neither of us had a letter, I was allowed through, she wasn't.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 11/01/2016 06:30

Yes, the father needs a letter too. And of course, I'd wager would be far more likely to be stopped and asked for it. Grandparents too.

As has been said on many other threads, for years now...it's not a law in the UK, but it is in many many other countries. The border agency officers are told to make any enquiries and ask for any documentation deemed necessary ie does this child's father know you are bringing them into the UK and has he given you permission to do so? (You won't be stopped going out, because there are no border controls going out, and the Ryanair check in assistant isn't likely to put you under interrogation)

At the moment, as far as the UK goes, the letter can be handwritten on the back of a Starbucks receipt for all I know. But in other places they want it notarised and with copies of b/certs etc.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 11/01/2016 06:42

I think you are meant to - whether you are asked for it must depend in part on where you travel to. I used to belong to a forum with lots of ex-pat Americans and they were very hot on this topic and a lot had been stopped. I can't actually see what good a letter does without an attached copy of a passport and the passport control officers routinely calling the other parent (and even then, you could just give an appropriate gender friend's details brief them to say they were the children's dad if you were determined enough to kidnap/ remove your children from their other parent...) but none the less it does seem to be worth having the letter just in case, as it is hardly going to be any trouble...

When I've flown alone with my kids the customs officers have fairly obviously "chatted" to the kids for a moment or two to ascertain (I assume) that they are actually mine and travelling willingly - just asking them where they are going and who they are going to stay with etc. Kids like answering those questions and feel grown up anyway. My passport wasn't even the same family name as my kids (it is now) and still isn't the same nationality, but that has never seemed to matter!

ChilliMum · 11/01/2016 07:54

You do need a copy of ID to back up the letter. The one time I was asked for it at check in my dh was with me (dropping me at airport) and they made him go back to our car in the parking area and retrieve his passport to prove he was who he said before they would check me and dc in (not sure if it matters but we were flying from a Swiss airport) They said they would also be happy with his driving licence though so you can take a copy of that if no passport.

noramum · 12/01/2016 13:05

DH took DD last year and we did a letter plus a passport copy from me.

He wasn't asked but I prefer it for peace of mine.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/01/2016 13:08

You may never be asked for it, but I would have a letter on hand just in case you get some officious person who insists.

I take my 2 DSs back to the UK by myself every year, have done this for 6 years now and so far have never been stopped - but I carry a permission letter from DH just in case. I also have my marriage cert. on me, but not photo ID of DH (which would be kind of pointless as he wouldn't be there...)

The thing is, it's not that hard a thing to get off your DH - but not having it, and being asked for it, would be the biggest PITA imaginable, so might as well have it.

BertieBotts · 12/01/2016 13:13

I get asked. Don't have contact with my ex though so don't have one. It's moot because we live abroad so I definitely don't need permission.

What if your child was conceived by sperm donation or their other parent is dead? I find it a ridiculous question to ask. I understand about the abduction risk but there are procedures in place to prevent unauthorised removal of children without having to put perfectly ordinary parents who just happen not to have a nuclear family set up under all of this stress and worry.

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