NYC - anxiety and the city!

[MrsEricBana]

Dh needs to go to NYC for the duration of the summer holidays, so potentially 7 wks from first week July to end August, and wants us to go with him. The idea is that he would work for all but the last two weeks, and ds (13) and dd(11) and I will entertain ourselves the rest of the time.
Now if someone else said this to me I would definitely say "Wow, opportunity of a lifetime, I love NYC, kids will never forget it..." etc BUT I am extremely anxious about it.
I am of nervous disposition and am petrified of flying (have flown twice in the last 14 years from a UK regional airport to France. Legitimate fear stemming from 3 separate flights with 1) severe turbulence 2) mechanical problem 3) suspected bomb on board, the year before 9/11). Even seeing a plane flying overhead makes me feel funny.

The claustrophobia/danger aspect of apartment on high floor, elevators, subway concern me.

I am worried that one of us will need medical tests/treatment or dental treatment (I have had dental problems over the last year).

I am a bit worried about leaving home for 7 weeks as I feel as if I do a lot of paperwork/bills etc here (everything apart from dhs actual job falls to me, and I mean everything Inc doing his tax return, buying his clothes etc) and ds is starting new school in Sept so kit needs to be acquired. I am worried something might fall between cracks if I am not here. Pets provisionally booked in for boarding.

It will be very hot.

On the plus side I can see it is an amazing opportunity, I live in a city now and love city life Inc museums, galleries, parks, cinema etc and I really like NYC and know there is a huge amount to do with the kids. Dh and the children keen to go. Most of dh costs and most of the actual apartment costs will be met by dh firm, which makes it more affordable though still will be very expensive over 7 weeks.

I would really appreciate some thoughts on this as part of me thinks I am being pathetic and part of me knows that my concerns are real issues for me.

Thank you!
(the business ramifications of me refusing to go have not been discussed BTW,in fact dh has discussed it very little which I do not find reassuring).

it will be hot as a freaking furnace but there are lots of nearby beaches.

Take the boat. it's not much more expensive than the plane and you're there for long enough for a 4 day trip not to matter. Looked into this v recently for someone unable to fly for medical reasons. YOu won't get the external cabin with a balcony unless you pay for it, but it's worthwhile.

scholl vests and shoes are available in NYC, probably more cheaply than in the UK. Try Target.

Good point re getting school shoes there!!
Boat is an idea and maybe the idea of 8 days on a boat will help me get a grip of myself!
Beaches? Hamptons?
Thank for your help.

Hamptons if you're a squillionaire. For the less loaded, Fire Island, or New Jersey Shore - lots of lovely beaches in Bruce Springsteen country (Manasquan to Asbury Park) and you can even get a free bus to Atlantic City from Penn Station (well they charge you and then give you the fare back in quarters for the slot machines if you get dropped at a casino(!)) and there are resorts called Margate & Ventnor to give you the UK touch. Margate has a giant elephant called Lucy that used to be a hotel. It's mainly apartment rentals rather than hotels round there.

you can even get the subway to the beach at Coney Island and see the beluga whale and go all Lou Reed.

oh & btw - the subway is much less claustrophobic than the UK tube. the tunnels are larger / wider and it's much lighter - it's a much newer system. And it's air conditioned. Elevators I can't help with but they will be pretty much unavoidable unless you manage to find a brownstone walk up to live in (who's covering / finding accomodation? have a look on air bn'b to see if you can get a walk up in eg the Upper West Side or Park Slope, Bklyn

It is hot here, but you should have aircon in your apartment (it's a dealbreaker).

Hamptons is expensive, but if you go to Montauk it's marginally cheaper.

Keep reminding yourself it is only 7 weeks.

I live in Manhattan so if you have any questions, feel free to pm me

Also taxis are way cheaper here than, say, London.

Accom being sourced by dh cousin who is in the business - looks to be an apartment bldg in midtown with a pool.
Thanks for all the other tips - will look into those. Funny re Lucy the Margate elephant. Dh's GPS ran a b&b in Ramsgate and he spent his summers there so he'll be right at home!
Any thoughts on medical or dental issues while there?

your husband's company should hopefully be providing suitable insurance. You certainly can't go to America without insurance from somewhere.

Thanks Angus! I do want to go, just anxious as all arrangements will fall to me while there.
What are your top must dos for the dcs?

You could actually spend 7 weeks exploring Central Park! There's a free outdoor pool there in the summer. The museums and art galleries here (esp Natural History and MoMA) are fantastic. DD is only 6 months and I wish we were still going to be here when she's old enough to appreciate it!

I'll pm you with more specifics.

You regret the things you don't do more than the things you do!

Restaurants are fun e.g. Katz Deli & Carnegie Deli.

Just wandering around makes you feel like you're in a movie

OK, you are really selling it now!

the zoo in central park is where Melman & Co from Madagascar live of course....
otherwise - Gospel brunch in Harlem, dessert at Serendipity, Dylan's Candy Store, Coney Island aquarium & roller coaster, South Street Seaport boat / walk over Bklyn Bridge, Chelsea Piers sports inc ice rink. Speed chess (watching or playing) in Washington Sq Park.

If you're worried about flying I would suggest you book yourself onto a fear of flying course. Both BA and Virgin run these; it would be worth your while doing something like that.

The cruise boat could be very expensive even for a standard inside cabin.

Many brownstone apartments are very old and are also very small. Let his workplace find you somewhere suitable. Totally legitimate apartment rentals on sites like airbnb are almost impossible to find - and such sites importantly do not check to see if their listings are actually genuine.

I would also suggest you look into finding someone who can help you with your fears of confined spaces. It needs tackling head on and now for your sake.

Have a dental check up before going. Arrange bills to be paid by direct debit and get online banking so you can check on things. Perhaps a friend or family member could check your post if that would help you feel less anxious about missing something. I bet you'll have a wonderful summer!

Sounds potentially wonderful. First, remind yourself that seven weeks isn't really very long. You could bring your dental x-rays if it makes you feel better, but the likelihood of an emergency is small. I panic over flying, too, but I do it once or twice a year, and the trick is to stay some place long enough, as you're doing, to give yourself time to build up your nerve for the trip home. I agree with Attila that it's a fear worth tackling.

You can cater to your acrophobia/claustrophobia by staying on a lower floor (although any building with a pool is likely to be a tall one). And NYC has a good bus system, so you wouldn't need subways that often. In fact, you may find yourself walking much of the time.

I would also second a fear of flying course. My mum had such a bad phobia of flying that she couldn't even go to an airport to pick someone up! But she went on a course and now jets back and forth to the US at least once a year with very few problems. A visit to your GP for tranquilisers may be an idea too.

Hi again, Thanks for all your advice above. Just to say we are going in 3 weeks! All booked, flying BA (I am just going to avoid thinking about it, pretend I am in a shopping centre not an airport, watch back to back movies on the plane and eat anything they put in front of me and we'll be there). Apartment on UWS with pool and air con. Plan to use buses and walk where poss. Got good travel insurance. Come straight home if anything goes badly wrong. Trying not to over analyse it now. And breathe.....

I'm jealous! You will have a great time. I love NY and would love to spend a good few weeks there.

For the fear of flying - try seeing a hypnotherapist before you go maybe? Might help. Failing that get some Bach Rescue Remedy - really helped me last year when I was really stressed at one point and on the verge of panic attacks.

I'm a nervous flyer too OP but managed to get to NY without any major panicking last summer. I watched back to back episodes of a series I'd missed on TV, ate my lunch, had a glass or three of complimentary wine and before I knew it we were about an hour off landing. Have a great time, I'd love to go back!

Both BA and Virgin do Fear of Flying courses. The BA one is particularly good. You will spend a day with people in the same boat as you, and a great bunch of pilots and crew, and they are amazing. The perk is that when you do fly after the course the pilot will be pre notified and will come and speak to you on board, you will be well looked after promise. Its worth considering.

New york is lovely, full of gardens and parks and loads of things to do, you and the kids will love it. Do not waste an opportunity like this because of fear, the kids will spend the rest of their lives remembering the amazing summer they had in New york.
Paperwork can wait, go and have an amazing time!!!

Flying with Confidence course run by BA