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Original poster

Leaving the kids at home with grandma

12 replies

Kjorie · 14/08/2006 18:21

Hi. I have two little girls aged two and three months and eight months. My husband and I have the opportunity to go away at the end of the month for eight days. Both of our mothers said that they will stay at our house and take care of the girls. The thought of a getaway is so exciting but I'm very anxious about leaving the girls. Has anyone had this experience? Is it worth it? How do children of these ages handle separations of this length? Any ideas? Advice? Thanks!

OP posts:
Parkylarky · 14/08/2006 19:24

Last year left son aged 1yr 8months and girl aged 5yrs and went away for 12 days to China. Grandma looked after them in our house. Was very upset on leaving day but they were totally fine as didn't really have grasp of time span. Grab the chance to get away and it will do you so much good to feel yourself again that children will really benefit!! They were a little spoilt when we returned but I had the energy to cope with it. go for it !!

KTeepee · 14/08/2006 19:50

I went away for 5 days when my youngest was 11 months old. MIL and SIL came to help dh. All the children were fine (but obviously their dad was there so not quite the same.) Only thing that I noticed when I came back was that the baby sort of looked puzzled and kept looking at me and SIL in turn - I think he was a bit confused (she looks a bit like me in terms of colouring, etc). It hurt a little that he could forget so quickly....

Dh and I have only been away together without the children for one night at a time. I can't see us going for a longer spell for a few years yet.

Skribble · 14/08/2006 23:10

I have left mine at various ages for different lengths ot time. Never had any times when they reacted really badly, I was once DS was about 5 that he got a bit more winey and asking when will I be back, but no major upsets.

If they are used to granny they will probably enjoy the little holiday themselves.

Skribble · 14/08/2006 23:11

DS is 9 yrs and still calls me granny for a few days after he has been staying with her .

Olihan · 14/08/2006 23:16

I left ds aged 2.5 and dd aged 10 months at my PILs while I went to visit my parents in Singapore for 8 days. They had a fantastic time, my PIls loved having them and I had a much needed rest (pg with dc3). Ds was a bit clingy for the first week after I was back but not drastically so, just wanted me instead of dh to put him to bed, etc. Dd looked a bit confused when she first saw me but wasn't bothered either way!!

I think if you have 100% trust in the person you are leaving them with and you know that you will be able to relax and enjoy yourself then go.

Olihan · 14/08/2006 23:18

Oh, meant to say, ds didn't even ask for me until the day I flew home. I think at that age time doesn't really mean anything and it took him a week to realise it had been a while since he'd seen me!

hockeymum · 15/08/2006 08:47

The fact that they will be in your house will help, as it is so familiar to them. I'm sure they will have a great time being spoiled by grannies. I left dd aged 2.4 with grandma last year and she loved it, it was only when she fell over and cut her knee or something that she really complained about me not being there, but forgot again quite quickly.

FWIW, I personally, found the homecoming worth the whole separation bit. DD just clung to me for a whole hour, saying "mummy, oh my mummy, I love you so much" again and again. Not in a how dare you leave me way, she had great fun, just in a "oh its nice to have you back" way.

trying2bgood · 15/08/2006 20:15

As long as you are confident that your mums can handle it and are competent AND aware of your parenting style then there should be no problem. I assume that both your girls are used to their grandmums?

vavi · 16/08/2006 10:41

looking 4 advice: this fulltime working mom (me) sent her 20mth boy with her mom at the family vacation home. we (the parents) were travelling so much it seemed torture to keep him in the city in the summer heat + grandma is obsessed with him & he hung out with his many slightly older cousins - but it was very hard for me. After a few weeks I joined grandma - but she kept stopping me from caring for my son, criticizing me when I did do something &, in the end, saying that I was not very nice to my son & didn't deserve his love/affection. This from my own mother! She lives very far away all year & has suggested that she should move to take over the care of our son. Whats a girl to do!?

Thomcat · 16/08/2006 10:43

I just did it, have 1 4.5 yr old and an 8month old. Mine was for 5 days but....
Yes it's worth it, massively.
Kids love being spoilt by garnadparents, grandparents love having them to thereselves and mum & dad spend much needed time alone and get to lie in - loads.
Go for it, you must.
Have a fav time.

AngelaChill · 10/09/2006 21:29

I didn't really enjoy the break, by day 4 I just wanted to go home and see my babies. I don't think you can switch off once you're a mum. Dh had no trouble

Skribble · 12/09/2006 22:05

I can, I don't phone granny unless there is a problem. Used to upset DS a bit if he spoke on the phone anyway. I just switch off and go into work mode, don't feel like a mum when I am on the job. .

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