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Welcome to Mumsnet's holiday forum. Discuss all international travel here, including both shorthaul and longhaul trips. Related topics: UK holidays & day trips, skiing, camping & campervans.
Holidays
Freedom - what does it mean to you, now you're a mum?
Amb · 18/02/2004 12:26
Freedom now means the simple things to me - like being able to walk out of the house without carrying a rucksack full of baby things; or having a bath; time for myself; or not worrying about money. What does Freedom mean to you? Are there any baby or toddler products that help you have your Freedom?!
AussieSim · 18/02/2004 18:35
Freedom is going shopping for myself on a Saturday morning while DH watches DS.
Freedom is getting DS in bed by 7 and MN or watching telly.
Other than that I have no freedom to speak of which I find a bit of an issue. I'm still bfeeding and can't bring myself to stop. I 'm still not comfy with having DS babysat by anyone except DH who is only home with us on weekends(and my mum, but she is on the other side of the world).
I was thinking it will get better and better as DS gets older, but then decided to start TTC this month, so guess I might be 'unfree' for a bit longer.
spacemonkey · 18/02/2004 18:40
I never felt any sense of freedom until i had children - because i took it all for granted before!
eidsvold · 18/02/2004 19:42
*just having time to breathe and sit still without 150 school kids, dh or dd wanting my attention.
- going shopping ona saturday morning - just to wander around, have coffee whilst dh looks after dd.
- the very rare occasion when friends look after dd and dh and I get a couple of hours to ourselves.
Again though - I can't imagine my life without dd.
Gooby · 18/02/2004 22:08
Glad everyone else feels like this. The only friends of mine who have kids don't seem to want to talk about this issue, so I thought I was either
a) getting motherhood wrong as I wasn't managing to find much freedom (like you AussieS I'm still breastfeeding and don't like leaving my baby with anyone else, have no familly nearby).
OR
b) extremely selfish!
I can now breathe a sigh of relief. Ahhhh, it turns out I'm normal!
Crunchie · 19/02/2004 12:31
In some ways freedom is one of the unsaid things about being a working mum. Mostly during the day I have an amount of freedom, I can wee in peace, pop to the shops etc. Like outofpractice real freedom for me is the stolen moments when meetings end early and I get an hour or two to myself in London. Also DH and I try to have one weekend a year when we get grannies to babysit and we go away for one night. We can have a fab lie-in, sex whenever we want, and actually read the sunday papers on a sunday
katierocket · 19/02/2004 12:35
-being able to read a paper uninterrupted
-going to the cinema on a sat afternoon on my own
-walking round the jobs on my own
motherinferior · 19/02/2004 12:36
Good point, Crunchie.
Those stolen moments...freedom for me would (ha!) mean the ability to take some time, open-ended, to sleep or shop or read. I can do those sometimes, but only on a strict 'swap'/share childcare basis with DP. In theory I could take an afternoon off work, but in practice that's hardly ever feasible.
Freedom from guilt.
Northerner · 19/02/2004 12:44
Mothers are never free from guilt IMO.
Before Motherhod freedom was only ever thinking about myself, just didn't appreciate it at the time.
Bugsy2 · 19/02/2004 12:52
To me Freedom = Time. I never have enough time for anything. I always feel as though I am trying to steal bits of time from one activity to put towards another. I actually don't think real Freedom exists for parents.
Oh, what a gloomy thought!
butterflymum · 19/02/2004 13:33
Finding yourself on a day free of kids,
Realising life was one time like this.
Eating or shopping, no washing pot lids.
Each thing, doing with feelings of bliss.
Daydreams, pipe dreams, anything else missed?
Oh what does it mean to me, of it dare I wish?
Missing them, probably, but swimming like fish!
butterfly
wog · 19/02/2004 20:25
I think this was an excellent thread to start Amb as i beleive that all womens "freedom" ends when they have children. I always remember people saying that your life ends when you have children but another one begins, that men can put their coat on at any time and leave and I always thought that my life would never be like that - well it is. My dh is not a bad father or husband but the only way I can describe it is that men still have choices and women dont. My dh can choose to go and wash his car on a Sat morn so can I but with a baby attached, my dh can choose to fall asleep on the sofa anytime of day but I can only sleep when my dd sleeps, my dh can go into town to buy new clothes so can I but again Im entertaining our baby - so although we have choices to a degree they only come with some stress and always thinking of someone else because dd must still be fed, changed be put to sleep and given attention - men just think of themselves
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