Insane to fly to oz pregnant & with v active toddler??

[leannac]

I am due to fly to Sydney next month with my very lovely but very active 18 month old daughter. I was already dreading the flight as she's got a real hatred for sitting still & have recently fallen pregnant (yay!) but this now means I will be 5 months pregnant at the time of the flight.

Will it be beyond awful if I fly & I should consider cxling? Just as background info we booked the flights to go to my sister-in-laws wedding but she has since decided that she's not allowing children at her wedding, so we are now expected to fly all the way to Sydney, then drive 8 hrs when we get there, for hubby to go to the weddimg but for dd & I to be available for the wedding photos but as dd not allowed to stay from that point onwards, clearly as we've just dragged her halfway around the world, I will then have to accompany dd back to the family home for the afternoon & evening whilst weddimg actually happening.

I had a v traumatic birth with dd including a huge haematoma so dr has written me a letter saying she would 'fully support' my decision if I decided to cancel the trip as the 'very real risk of increased chance of blood clots' is a legitimate & genuine concern for me. Although virgin Atlantic won't accept the letter as grounds for cancellation as strictly speaking the dr hasn't recommended I not travel, I'm hoping that I might be able to persuade travel insurance to let us cancel.

Any thoughts? Am I insane to go or selfish & lazy to not go??

I would cancel mostly based on SIL saying no kids at the wedding. That is a really cheeky and rude of her. Has your DH confronted her about this?
I would see if I could cancel and let DH go on his own.
If you can't cancel then check out the advice given on previous 'flying with toddlers' threads. There is lots of good advice on them.
Good luck with whatever happens

DH has confronted her but she says if she invites our dd she would have to invite 9 of her fiances nieces & nephews & that she refuses to do that as it would ruin her day to have kids there as she wants it to be formal & sophisticated. Makes my blood boil!

I think I may risk the family being annoyed at me (as SIL is rather spoilt middle child who has always been pandered to by whole family) & beg insurance company to let me cancel. Thanks for the chat!

I'd ask the insurers if they will pay out, and Virgin if they would let you have a credit note (or someother not a refund, but letting you bank the money against a flight in the future thing). I would def not go so far to be treated like that by SIL, but might well tell the family that the Dr is 'very concerned about your and the babies wellbeing by flying' and express regret about it but the babys health has to come first etc

If you cancel you can quite ligitably say it's on Doctors orders so there would be no need to fall out with the family and brideziller
Good luck

I flew at 7 months pregnant with 14 month old twins London-Singapore-Sydney-Wellington (with about four days in Sydney and Singapore). It was pretty bloody hard and on arriving in NZ saw my family and burst into tears!

Sydney was awful, it was so hot and we were staying with friends (no airconditioning), although I guess it will not be so hot next month. By that stage we had jet lag upon jet lag.

To be honest the whole no-kids-wedding thing would be the nail in the coffin BUT the actual flights weren't as bad as they could have been. First flight was the 10pm-ish one so the DCs slept most of it. The second flight (midnight) was fine for a while but then a good three or four hours of pure hell. Not helped by the fact that DT1 insisted on sitting in the aisle so it was a constant battle to get him to move.

My only tip would be, the best toy you can take at that age is a working digital camera. Between that and the remote thingy, all the toys I had carefully researched and packed were next to useless!

Hi, I agree with others that your sil is being rather unfair (you have forked out for tickets you could have avoided) and whilst she may have decided she now doesn't want kids at wedding why does she still want them in the photos? Cant' have your cake and eat it.

I would suggest cancelling for you and daughter and hope you can get money back. You don't mention whether your have seat for your active daughter and if 5 months pregnant I would definately advise this if you do decide to go, best of luck xx

Thank you! Getting real pressure on the family to go but really don't want to. Sadly travel insurance has refused to consider the drs words 'more at risk of developing vaginal haematoma after long haul flights' to allow me to cancel as that's not medical recommendation. The dr says they can't word it any stronger as there's no actual evidence or signs with this pregnancy that I will haemmorage again. :-((( virgin Atlantic being equally as unhelpful. Very sadly I may have to go.

Thanks for all the advice though
X

The flights might not be fun but it will be doable - I fly longhaul regularly with a toddler and I'm pregnant - it's not always great but it will be over quickly. The problem seems to me to be that you don't want to go - and I don't blame you if your DD won't even be allowed at the wedding! If I were you, I'd look at exactly how much it will cost you to cancel (worst case scenario). So how much were the flights, can you cancel accommodation/transport etc?. Then work out how much it will cost if you actually go - think of all the meals etc. then look at the two figures together - would you rather lose the first amount or spend the second amount on something you really don't want to do and won't enjoy. It should at least help you put it all into perspective and make the decision one way or another and then you can start planning your trip or try to get some of your money back - if you can, great! if you can't you're no worse off because you won't be spending the money when you're there.