I think they should take their ds on a short holiday too

[zippitippitoes]

but my dd and her bf want to go away for a short break on their own..

dgs is nearly 2

I think that's fine, my parents have my dd for a week a year so I can get away for a week. Especially if you're a lone parent! It's good for a relationship to get some time alone together.

Until November dd had never had a 'proper' holiday just days at the seaside - she's 3.5 and is now old enough to appreciate the whol;e holiday experience.

Let them go, they might need a break

Message withdrawn

I would jump at the chance of leaving ds (3) with a grandparent and escape for a couple of days.

I'd say that's fine - we went away for two nights when DS1 was 17mo - I won a prize of two nights in a swanky hotel. It was brilliant and I knew DS was being looked after so we just enjoyed ourselves. It's the only time we've done that in two years though and it is looking unlikely we'll have a holiday this year (haven't been away since 2001) so we really needed the break.

Are you of the school of thought that parents should never leave their children? Nothing wrong with that, btw - just doesn't suit everyone.

They will come home totally refreshed, parents need breaks from their children sometimes.

I got some really bad news about a wedding we are going to in October..............it is child free....hurrah, two nights without DS, much as I love him I can not wait.

It's not that I don't think they should leave him, I just think they don't spend much time with him or ever just as the three of them and wouldn't they like to take him and have that pleasure..yeah a couple of days running onm the beach or something?

Where have they gone ??

They haven't gone, they'd like to

Well they went to Newquay last year without dgs, I thought next time they go somewhere it would be nice to do something with him too..I used to like going places with my children

How old is your dd (if you don't mind me asking)?

She's 20 nearly 21 in fact

why don't you offer to go along next time so you can spend time with dgs and they can still have a break, but they can still share some time as a family ? tbh they may just feel at a loss as to hwo to entertain him on away from home, especially if the wetaehr is dodgy, and want some time and meals to themselves

ROFL

Oh please please please let her go!! She's so young and it's so hard to watch all your friends going out and having fun when you're stuck in every night. I'm 27 and always desperate to get away and live the life I used to have - she'll appreciate it so much.

You can feel so old when you're tied to a toddler, let her go and have some fun. Let her act her age - let her go out and get drunk and not have to worry about a hangover and a 2yo at 7am.. it will be so good for her.

go on, go on, go on

I don't think it's them that need the break and attention to be honest I think he does, he is always a bystander while they do stuff with their friends

Oh dear this goes quite deep doesn't it ??

Do they have their own home ?

yes they do they rent his house from exh, but have to find somewhere else by April

I haven't fallen out with them I just believe and wish dgs was more clearly higher up their list of priorities

Can they afford it ? tbh it sounds as if you have misgivings beyond the trip.

Well as LGJ says it sound like it's more than just whether or not they go away for a few days.

Could you have a chat with your dd about your concerns? do you think she would listen?

Maybe you could have DGS on the basis that you want to see her making more of an effort with him. Could they afford to go away twice - once with and once without him?

I don't think they can afford to go away at all, but that's another story!

I'm always interested to see what mn has to say...I still think it would be fun to go away with him and each other, spend some rare time without any friends on the scene

My dh and I went on a couple of fantastic holidays whilst our children were very small.

We actually wouldn't want to do it now, because they are old enough to come and enjoy many of the things we do.

So long as they are being cared for by someone who loves them, I think it does all of the relationships involved a lot of good.

But.....they need to be a main priority in their parents' lives on a day to day basis!

Its hard when a single mother to have a proper realtionship, her son will always be her priority, but she has to have a little bit of a life with her boyfriend aswell.

Shes lucky to have a mum like you who will let her do these type of things, and not to judge her

sorry should be her dp not bf to be strictly accurate, he is dgs father..

Zippi - is her bf the father of dgs? She may be finding it hard to juggle her relationship with him with her role as parent. If her bf is the same age as her, that is quite young to want to take on f/t parenthood of a child which isn't originally yours.
It does seem a shame if she is so wrapped up in her relationship that the child is being 'demoted'.

Oh. x-posted.

she calls him bf by the way!

I think I'm just feeling a bit low spirited, I wish dgs had a bit better time

and dd would really try and get a morde child friendly job so probably right about issues!