Hi,
There is a forum dedicated to DLP on Trip Advisor, where posters who know resort very well are always glad to help with trip planning.
Guide books can be useful in general, but as things change frequently in the parks according to season and ride closures / refurbs / maintenance, they are often out of date before even being printed!
People on DLP forums usually know what is currently going on there.
Child swop / Babyswitch mentioned by sparkle is a useful system for people who have kids of different ages, but it does mean that one child is hanging around. We did use this often when our boys were young ( 4 yr age gap ) and DS1 was very happy getting two rides, but DS2 got bored waiting with other parent. We did many rides and attractions together, but also split up sometimes so each child could choose what they wanted to do. DS2 loved swimming in the pools in the Newport Bay, so often wanted to go back there for a while. DS1 preferred to stay in the park. ( only had the Disneyland Park back then as the Studios did not open until 2002. ).
You can get Fastpass tickets from machines by some popular rides to return in a given 30 min timeslot, and avoid a long queue if parks are busy. At quiet off peak times they are not really needed so may not all be in use. Guests staying in the Disneyland Hotel are given one FP ticket per person per day for any ride with FP facility. Guests staying in Castle Club, Empire State rooms or suites get a VIP Fastpass so which lasts their whole stay.
This page explains about using Fastpass machines quite clearly. Read the small print on each Fastpass ticket you get - it tells you when you can get another one. This could be from the beginning of your current timelot OR two hours later, which ever is sooner. So sometimes you could be holding more than one FP ticket. They won't allow you to ride earlier, but are not usually bothered if you arrive later than your timeslot if you are busy doing other things.
www.dlrpmagic.com/planning/services/disneys-fastpass/
It is hard to advise people what rides / atractions to do with children, as so much depends on their character and how brave they are. Some kids are scared more easily than others, and may not like dark rides, fast ones, or loud ones. A few rides have a minimum height requirement, and kids are measured at the ride entrance if they appear too small. They may also be measured again before boarding, so no point trying to sneak through!
www.dlrpmagic.com/planning/advice/ride-restrictions/
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I pop in here when I have time, but otherwise you can find me on the TA DLP /MLV forums which are both linked. The Top Questions lists there should help you as well.