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Original poster

Should we move or not?!

36 replies

notasheep · 16/01/2006 21:19

Dp finishes Uni in May and will then hopefully be a
Computer Scientist!
So do we reach for the stars and go abroad or stay where we are.
Dp is thinking of New Zealand!!!!(too far away from home for me)
Feel its now or never dd is 6 and ds 1

Im not the kind of person to live in the same house for a hundred years but just feel the move will be MASSIVE
Anybody else done it,been there?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 16/01/2006 21:24

We moved to France when dd was 4 and ds 6 months. I think the experiences we had brought us closer together as a family and certainly enriched our lives. Plus dd and ds will now be bi-lingual.

It is very hard though. You only have each other which can be very claustrophobic and I missed the support from family and friends.

The move is massive. But I'd rather do something like that than live my life forever thinking "what if....?" or "if only....". A life full of regrets is not a life at all.

Go for it!

Original poster
notasheep · 16/01/2006 21:27

Thats what i have been thinking,and dd and ds are at a good age for a move.
Dd would be very happy to move.

I just dont want to be too far away from home,so i can easily come back to visit.

I am thinking of Italy,Spain,Europe!

We have already had one massive move,and i have found it OK.

But then I think of elderly parents blah blah blah

OP posts:
Original poster
notasheep · 16/01/2006 22:03

Anyone else done MASSIVE move?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 16/01/2006 22:06

My friend moved from England to NZ, but then that's where she was originally from. However her dh is English and she had a 3 year old and was pregnant with another. All her friends were in the UK. But she decided they would be better off in NZ. She found it very hard without her friends, but she hasn't come back!

eidsvold · 17/01/2006 01:54

we moved ( back for me) to Australia in 2004. My dh is English and dd1 was born in the UK - she was almost 2. I had lived in the UK for over 4 years when we returned and I found it a little hard. I had left Aus as a single person and returned as a married woman with dd1 and dd2 on the way - took me a little while to settle in.

Dh loves it and we know that we have made the best move. Whilst I miss friends and dh's family back in the UK - no way I would want to move back and live there again. ( I mean if we had to and I had no other choice then okay - but our quality of life here - on one income is fab)

bobbybobbobbingalong · 17/01/2006 02:03

Done it, still here, never coming back - and what's more have noticed that Christchurch is literally teaming with English families at the moment.

Come while we still have room.

Original poster
notasheep · 17/01/2006 14:29

But relationship with dp isnt rock solid so not sure about going so far

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 17/01/2006 14:33

Ha! My friend lives in Christchurch! Ooooh, you're not her are you?

bobbybobbobbingalong · 17/01/2006 17:46

No, but she may have moved in next door.

Rhubarb · 17/01/2006 20:11

Her husband's British and they have a little girl and a baby boy!

bobbybobbobbingalong · 17/01/2006 22:27

No - she is safe. But she could check out the meetup thread. Only 3 of us so far!

golds · 17/01/2006 22:40

My uncle moved out to NZ last August from Wolverhampton (bit of a difference) and absolutely loves it.

Original poster
notasheep · 19/01/2006 13:29

Anybody else done a big move(not necessarily NZ)
but abroad.
Dp is now seriously looking at jobs

OP posts:
ernest · 19/01/2006 14:31

we've upp'd & gone as far as central europe. I love it & am very glad (in fact it was me that pushed for it). I think europe is a different kettle of fish to nz tho'. I'm not v. close to my family, so don't miss them, but can & do return say 2-4 times a year, ocassionally alone if dh away with work. Just don't see that that would be possible much further afield.

Would you be happy with only 1 visit a year? It is a big move. Why is he so keen on the other side of the world? There are lots of fab countries closer to the uk? Is there something that particularly attracts him to nz?

Original poster
notasheep · 19/01/2006 21:45

dps best mate is from New Zealand ( and living here)
and has obviously been encouraging him to make the move.
But then why is dps mate here and not in NZ?!

I want to be in Europe so i can still get flight,train, home to visit

OP posts:
ernest · 20/01/2006 08:34

quite!

MrsMills · 20/01/2006 08:42

We have just upped and moved to Stockholm. We being dh me and ds's aged 5 and almost 2. Took a long time to decide to come as we have left everything that we know behind.
We have always maintained that if things don't work out, then we come back, nothing is forever really. If we hadn't come over then I know I would have spent the rest of my life wondering 'what if?', and regretted it.
Nowhere seems to be that far these days, with t'internet, webcams, cheap flights, I'm probably in contact with friends and family more now than I was in England.
Yes, a move abroad is massive, but so what?
However if you have any doubts, sort them out before you go. Good Luck with your decision.

Original poster
notasheep · 20/01/2006 13:31

Dp has just got a 1st today for his project so now he really wants to get the BEST job going

OP posts:
Tiggerish · 20/01/2006 13:45

We did the move to NZ when ds was tiny - and were back again within a year. My DH is a kiwi and wanted to bring his kids up "back home". He is also in IT by the way.
We did everything "properly" and bought a house, shipped all our stuff out etc. The problem came with work - no IT jobs at all. Most of the big financial companies have moved to USA or Australia.
We also found out how truly appalling the education system is out there. There is no way I would have been prepared to put my kids through school there.
There were other factors as well which I won't bore you with, but we decided to cut our losses and come home. We don't regret doing it - we would always have been wondering "what if..." if we hadn't. But in retrospect we would have done it very differently.

Original poster
notasheep · 20/01/2006 13:47

Thanks for that- dp is thinking away temporarily for 3 years while children are still young.

OP posts:
inthepink · 20/01/2006 13:47

we (dh, ds and me) upped and moved to Dubai 3 years ago and haven't regretted it for a moment, we have seen more of our families than we ever did when living near to them as they have all been here on holiday and the out-laws have recently joined us out here permanantly

Nothing is forever and like the others say you could spend the rest of your life saying "what if" just like my parents did!!

Original poster
notasheep · 20/01/2006 13:48

Dubai!!!!!!!!! How is the heat there?

OP posts:
Tiggerish · 20/01/2006 13:50

3 years sounds like sense. The important thing imo is to keep your options open both in the UK and NZ. Do you own your own house?

Waswondering · 20/01/2006 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inthepink · 20/01/2006 13:55

Notasheep - it is actually quite cold and very windy, the out-laws still think it's warm but they left snowy England about 3 weeks ago so not aclimatised (sp) yet!!!