Is flying to Australia with a toddler a mad thing to do unless you really have to?

[edam]

Dh's best friend went to Australia to work for a year three years ago but shows no sign of coming back. Dh has been made redundant and has come up with the idea of visiting his mate (who he really misses, was best man at our wedding). What really upset me was his assumption that he'd go on his own as the flight would be a nightmare for ds (2). Think there may be an agenda here of wanting some time on his own with his mate, but before we have a real row about it, thought would be worth checking out whether taking ds is a mad idea in the first place?

Of course, then we get into the whole 'erm, do we really want to spend thousands of pounds BEFORE you get a new job' but hey, first things first.

Well it wouldn't be something I would do, but then I am a bit of a home bird.

I have to say that I would object strongly to him spending a single penny before you were assured of an income.

Bet the poor bugger is glad he is not married to me.

No, I agree with you! Just interested to see whether it is a complete no-no in terms of ds before we even start on the argument about the other factors...

no not mad in the slightest, done it twice,

sounds very much like a hidden agenda to me, sort out that smoke-screen and then report back

Charming!!!!

No-perfectly feasible (if a bit stressful).
Like suzy,have flown loads with my two under fives and we live to tell the tale.

(Can't believe how selfish your dh is being tbh.)

Our first UK-Aus trip was with dd1 aged 6 months, 2nd when dd1 was 18 months and I was 14 weeks pg, 3rd trip with dd1 aged 2.5 AND dd2 aged 6 months, 4th time again with both children 1 year later. The children were fine every time and the most stressful bit of the whole trip was dealing with dh who hates going anywhere with children because he thinks people are looking at us! The children find the journey really exciting and are usually very well behaved. The only nightmare is my dh!

It sounds very much to me as though your dh is looking for an excuse to go on his own. (Fair enough, I'd quite fancy a holiday on my own too in a parallel universe) But your dh should at least admit to it so you can talk about it properly. I assume that if he does end up going on his own there will be some kind of pre-agreed, pre-arranged quid pro quo where you get to have a holiday without dh or ds.

Dh announced it as 'I'd really like to use this time to go and see x in Australia - of course, this would involve you looking after ds for two weeks.' Cue flaming row. HOW rude? And selfish?

Re the taking turns thing - I pointed out that he'd been off on a weekend with another friend not so long ago and got: 'Oh, I didn't realise we were keeping score.'

Had a flaming row about it, just wanted to know whether taking ds would be completely mad before the next row!

I'm thinking as a compromise (not that he deserves one) I could say 'let's think about it when you've got a new job - tell your new employer you've got two weeks booked and let's all go then.' Maybe. Ds would love it, really liked dh's friend when he came to stay.

Yeah and if you're going,take longer than two weeks for God's sake!

Re the question - YES - unless, of course, said toddler loves to sit and read, draw, colour in and watch DVDs. If at all active, then expect no sleep for about 36 hours.

Also, don't forget about the time adjustment when you get there - change a toddler's body clock to do the complete reverse is not fun. And, in my humble opinion, MAD if only for a week or two.

If you want to go, why not go for a month or two and see a bit of the country?

Thank you Koala - are you Australian, by any chance? Is it really 36 hours? Had no idea - longest trip I've taken was to Vancouver which was about 11 hours.

Not sure I do want to go tbh but if dh really does want to see his friend, wanted to know if at all practical for us all to go. Would be lovely to see x, his friend.

travelling from where we are to my mum and dad's house in south australia takes 36 hours door to door!

in reality, the flights are about 23 hours flying time, but you need to add on the transit times, and any domestic internal flights when you arrive in country, because all of that effects your little one too

last time i took our son, it took him 5 nights to adjust - so for the trip time and 5 nights afterwards, I was catching 2 to 3 hours sleep at a time

there are ways for coping with jet lag etc though, so don't be disheartened - we do it every year - also have some good tips for the flights too (from experience)

i can give you some advice if you go - i just wanted to make the point that after the little one adjusts to the new time frame, about the first week of your holiday is gone

how old is your toddler?

He's two and we'd be going to Sydney so no internal flights.

Went last October for a month with a 2 year old and a 7 month old. I have lots of family in Oz and the 2 year old was asked to be a flower girl at my cousins wedding, so quite a important family occasion. Flight actually wasnt too bad, we flew direct with a couple of hours in Singapore and they slept quite a lot of it. Jet Lag was another thing, had a terrible time with that, play time was normally 2-4 in the morning... Saying that we had a fantastic time and I'm glad we done it and it certainly wouldnt put me off going again.

did it once when dd1 was 8 months old - brought her out to Oz to meet my family and again when dd1 was almost 2 and I was 18 weeks pregnant (emigrated). We flew Singapore Airlines who fly the most direct route ( as the crow flies) about 21 hours to Sydney. 1st time had a brief stop over in SIngapore where we changed planes and then on to Brisbane.

Both times dd1 travelled really well. She had a little jet lag but that soon fixed itself.

Personally I think he is wanting a boys fortnight hanging out with his mate far from home. I like your suggestion of waiting til he gets another job and then doing it. You would want to pay for a seat for your toddler.

we are going to visit DH's family in Oz soon when my DS will be 7 months. I've done the long haul flight many times (albeit without ds, this will be his first time flying). It might be a nightmare on the flight and initially with jet lag, then again it might not, but I think it will be worth it. But it is to visit family. Sounds like your dh wants a bit of escapism! Maybe suggest going with him once he has secured a job to come back to! I also think that you need at least 3 weeks in order to recover from the flight and to see places. Or suggest a holiday closer to home for now.......surely you need a break too?!

will you be BF teabags? If you are it's a doddle

yes I'll be BF. I hope you're right suzywong!

I took the sluglet out to Australia just before she turned 2. Reaslly there were no problems. She adjusted her sleep patterns by the second day we were there. I took her to NZ on my own when she was 19 months. Some kids cope well with international travel. You never know till you try!

Tell him where to get off. Imagine wanting to spend all that redundancy money on himself instead of supporting the family while unemployed. How selfish!

oh I am right, I really am, done it with both ds when they were BF, not at the same time of course.
You just plug them in on take off and then basically leave your bosom available to them for the whole flight, having explained your actions to the nice man sitting across the aisle first. It really is easy. And another top tip is go with Singapore Airlines.