6 nights in NYC without our 8mo - is it wise?

[minesarioja]

I know there are a few posts along these lines around but I'd really like to hear from someone out there who has left a young baby with gparents for this amount of time.
Wouldn't normally even contemplate doing it but we won flights to NYC so it's a bit of a one-off. We aren't taking DS as he's too young and I can't see the point. We did have to pay the tax though so if we cancel we'd lose a fair bit of cash. But is that a small price to pay in the long term?
So far, he doesn't mind being looked after by relatives (no sep anxiety to date) and has had a night and day with same gparents and was fine. But this is much longer and it's niggling me as the time approaches. I guess I'm worried about whether there'll be any long-term emotional effects or will he just get used to things again after a couple of weeks back at home with us?
Would love your views!

Personally, I think your baby would be fine being looked after by trusted grandparents who are used to having him. My DH did not like taking babies or toddlers abroad, so we left DS2 with grandma when we took DS1 on holiday for a week until he was about 3. He had a lovely time having lots of attention from nannie, and never asked where we were until he was older, so we knew when it was time to take him as well. DS1 benefited from having some sole time with us when we went away without baby/ toddler DS2.
I think it is more a question of whether you will miss your baby at that age, and whether you will not enjoy your trip if worrying how he is, even if you phone every day.
I did not leave DS2 until he was over 1 yr though, not as young as 8 months, as I was still breastfeeding then anyway.

oh dear, you're not looking for a guilt trip are you? Because there are plenty of people who will tell you that leaving a baby is tantamount to child abuse and they'll be damaged for life. And that you'll never forgive yourself if anything happened.

Me on the other hand will tell you that we left an 18mth old and a 4 yo for (gasp!) 9 nights with their grandparents to go to Antigua once. And do you think either of them have any memory of this? Does it come up in arguments when my now 8 yo is telling me she hates me because I won't buy her that pony? Do you think they even noticed or cared?

Point was, grandparents had some special time with them and the bond was made even stronger, which is a wonderful thing. Were they bothered that they were abandoned - maybe you can ask them when they're adults and in therapy and discovering that the root of all there unhappiness can be traced back to that time when mummy and daddy negligently ditched them and forced them to stay with their loving grandparents instead of keeping them close to our caring bosoms for every single moment of their unremembered babyhood.

Oh the guilt!

;)

ps i breastfed both mine until over a yr old so i wouldn't have been able to leave mine behind at that age either. But knowing what i know now, (how utterly unaffected they are) i wouldn't hesitate.

Go. It'll be an amazing trip, DC will have a lovely time with GPs and have a great bond with them by the end. He'll be fine!

Thanks so much for your responses. Yes, it's guilt (I'm thinking of dining out each evening - imagine? - and going shopping without a buggy) and I feel a heck of a lot better for hearing your positive tales. Thanks!

Meant to post earlier, I left 4 month old and 3 year old with my parents to go to New York for 3 nights a few years ago. We were all fine, infact me and Mr W had a fantastic time and dds have no memory of our absence at all . Ps Stay away from FAO Schwarz if you don't want to get carried away with soft toy guilt shopping.

We left our DS with my parents twice so far, at 6 months and 11 months, for 5 days. He was totally fine and my parents loved having so much time with him all on their own. In fact, focus on that if you feel guilty -- you're giving the GP some great one-on-one time!

But really, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. Go, have fun! There's nothing wrong with it!