I hate flying - help!

[Kirisox]

Please help me! I'm scared of flying and have avoided it for the last 10 years. Unfortunately DP's family live in Northern Ireland (we're in London) and now DS has been born we are going to have to go over reasonably often to see them. When DS is older I will drive over, but for now it's got to be a flight. We are booked for mid may, and I go weak just thinking about it; I resent having to go which really isn't fair on DP and DS.

What have people found to be the best remedy for coping with or overcoming a fear of flying?

The flight to Belfast is only about 50 minutes so I think it is a really goood one for a phobic to start with. What scares you most - the take off and touch down or the actual being up in the air or it all??.

Don't sit by the window - you may be tempted to look out and feel worse. Bring a book you find easy to read and just concentrate on that - ignore everythingelse and get DP to deal with DS. OR having to calm down a baby that screamed, cried and tried to wriggle away throughout the flight while putting up with the glares and grumping from the obese man sat next to us kind of took my mind off my phobia when flying solo to NI a few years back.

Good luck

Oh I feel your pain. I detest flying and am quite phobic (we also like to avoid flying for other reasons but you're right this is a journey that needs to be done by plane).

The very best advice I can give from my own experience is "don't think about it too much." This sounds ridiculous and trite, but it honestly honestly honestly is born of bitter experience. I've gone over it and fretted and analysed my own phobia lots in the past and now have some solid theories about why I'm scared and it doesn't help much at all.

Now I make sure I'm fed and comfortable and happy prior to taking off and then I do something to distract myself (easily achieved with a baby to care for) and I JUST DO NOT LET THE FEAR RISE. I am quite strict and hard on myself. Every time I start thinking about the fact I'm scared I just say to myself "No. Stop." If I start worrying about some random noise or if the stewardesses are hiding something terrible from us all I say to myself "Do you know how to fly a plane? No? Then shut up and let the pilot and cabin crew do their jobs."

Umm what else? I sang to my DS2 during takeoff, ostensibly for his benefit but really to calm my own nerves and that was great.

Oh and the only really useful information I picked up in my researches on aerophobia (which mostly made me feel ten times worse) travel sickness is at the root of a lot of it, so if that might be an issue for you address it as best you can (pills if not breastfeeding, otherwise eating little and often and sipping cold water slowly, keeping cool etc.)

One of my flying phobic friends has just read " The Easy way to enjoy flying" by Alan Carr and has been raving about it, managed to be calm all the way to the Carribbean after reading it!

I'm going to read it too, hate flying!

It can sometimes help to address what you particularly hate about flying eg small spaces, heights, not understanding flying, ascent, landing etc.

Is there a a specific part you hate or anything that triggered your fear?