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Original poster

Do I take our todler with us or leave him at home?

16 replies

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/10/2010 19:53

I have booked a suprise trip to Paris via Eurostar for DP's 30th next month but I am torn as to whether I should bring our son, who is 2 yrs old, along.

It is only for 2 nights but I have never left him with anyone for that length of time before and I am nervous about how he will be, and how I will be.

I will be 7mths pregnant by then also so leaving him at home for a chance for some action is out of the question I'm afraid. There is a sex-drought during pregnancy in my house.

Also, I like to holiday as a family, even though it is DP's birthday suprise, it would feel odd without DS with us and life is so much more fun when we are looking at it through DS's eyes. He would be so excited about the whole trip. (DS I mean, not DP)

There is a lot of train travel down to St Pancras, about 4-5 hours so that is another issue for a toddler.

So any advice? It would be much appreciated, thanks. I've got a feeling you're all going to say leave him at home!

OP posts:

IMoveTheStars · 04/10/2010 19:56

Who would you be leaving him with? I left DS for 2 nights for the first time at about the same age and it was definitely difficult on the second night (had left him with GP's plenty of times just for the odd night in the past)

If you think he'll enjoy it, and you want him to come, then take him with you! Don't underestimate how lovely some time together with your DP will be though :)

What does your DP think (or is it a total surprise)

Personally I would leave DS at home, simply because 10 hours on trains/Eurostar wouldn't be fun for anybody with a bored toddler around

Original poster

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/10/2010 20:03

We would be leaving him with GP's.

He is naturally such a huge part of our lives that I wonder what DP and I will talk about without him there IFYSWIM!

It is a total suprise but me being me I doubt it will be for long! I'm trying though!

He is very well-behaved for a 2yr old and I imagine he would sleep very well in a buggy or on our laps. We culd take some new toys/games to entertain him...

But, it's been aaaaages since we had some quality time to ourselves, so....

OP posts:

nagoo · 04/10/2010 20:06

I think leave him at home.

Make the effort to enjoy your time with DP, as you've already said that it is falling by wayside a bit, as you are both so wrapped in being a 'family' sometimes you have to try hard to be a couple.

IMoveTheStars · 04/10/2010 20:28

As it's your DP's Birthday thing, what do you think he'd like to do? Would he like you all to himself for the first weekend in more than 2 years?

fromheretomaternity · 04/10/2010 20:38

Leave him at home and have a fabulous time - when dc2 arrives there will be no couple-time at all.

Happy parents make for a happy child

Original poster

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/10/2010 21:23

Yes he would Jareth, it's me being a wee bit selfish I think. Hmmm. I am going to have to get tough with myself.

OP posts:

IMoveTheStars · 04/10/2010 21:30

It's really hard the first time you leave them for more than one night (I assume you've left him for a night with the GPs before?) but it gets easier, BELIEVE me

Perhaps arranged a weekend with the GP's before you go, to get that first difficult one out of the way, and then you'll know he'll be fine when you go off on your lovely weekend!

(p.s. I'm bloody jealous!!)

TabithaTwitchet · 04/10/2010 21:40

We went to Paris for the weekend when DD was 20 months - we took her with us.

We are a bit closer than you - 2 hours from St Pancras - and she coped with the journey fine, and was v well behaved all the time. We had a lovely time as a family :)

But we had a very different time than if we had been by ourselves; for example we felt we couldn't really eat out late in the evening, I would have loved to go to a little bistro and spent ages over steak and chips and a bottle of wine, but it wouldn't have been fair on DD. Instead we ate early and went back to our hotel room.
We tried to do stuff DD would enjoy (zoo, park, boat trip). We enjoyed it too, but it wasn't what we'd have chosen if we were on our own.

I'd say if you have the chance of some child free time, go for it!

Original poster

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/10/2010 21:41

I have left him with GP's for one night as a sort of trial and he was ok, got a bit upset when he woke up in the morning and we live only down the road so it wasn't too far for me either.

It does get easier doesn't it? You are telling me the truth now aren't you?

I've only been able to afford it because I have been collecting airmiles, but the train down there is still costing and arm and a leg!

Have you been to Paris before? Never been myself but have been to other places in France.

OP posts:

IMoveTheStars · 04/10/2010 22:25

Oh yes it gets easier.. soon you'll be taking any and every offer to take him off your hands so you can have a night off. (we certainly do)

I love time with DS - our family holiday this year was brilliant because he was with us. However, something like a weekend away? Wouldn't hesitate to drop him with the GP... they'll have a great time and you'll have a brilliant weekend with your DP

kreecherlivesupstairs · 05/10/2010 08:43

I'd love to have my parents closer (or even in the same country) for that reason. I would really like to go to Barcelona in a couple of weeks time but, I know DD would hate it and there's noone to leave her with for two nights. Me and DH will be staying at home for the half term holidays I suppose.
OP, if I were you I wouldn't hestitate.

Figgygirl · 05/10/2010 11:21

There are some very good and sensible replies here! I think it has to be a personal choice, and also depends on the child's character and personality.
We took DS1 on a few holidays on his own with us, leaving DS2 at home with grandma, so DS1 had some time with us on his own, doing things that DS2 was not old enough to do.( our boys have a 4 yr age gap). DS2 was quite happy with grandma for a week, and was thoroughly spoilt by her!We took DS2 on the same holidays later, so he has not missed out.
We also left both boys with grandma occasionally for a weekend or a week if the holiday was not really suitable for them, or when we went with friends without children.She enjoyed having them, but came to our house so the boys still slept in their own rooms, and had all their toys etc.
I agree that if you have your toddler with you, it will be a very different trip than if you go on your own, and only have to think of yourselves.
With a new baby on the way, I think this is a good opportunity to spend a bit of quality time together.
My sons both often slept at nannie's house, and also for sleepovers at friend's houses, which helped when they joined Beavers and Cubs, and went on camp for the first time.They have never been homesick, or worried about being away from home on school trips.DS2 went to Kenya for a month with his school, and we only got 1 text the whole time! Other parents were getting regular phone calls and messages,and some kids were really struggling with homesickness.
I really think it helps build their confidence if children are used to having the occasional sleepover with friends, or staying a few nights/ days with loving and trusted family members.
By the way, if you need help and advice for planning your trip, the Destination Experts and other posters on the TA Paris forum will gladly help you to make the most of it.
www.tripadvisor.com/ShowForum-g187147-i14-Paris_Ile_de_France.html
I spent one day there last summer, and another day again this summer ( travelling from Disneyland),with my adult son. We managed to fit in a lot of sightseeing, using the Metro, Batobus and a lot of walking!The Eiffel Tower is lovely when it sparkles on the hour after dark.I really recommend buying tickets in advance if you want to go up the ET, as queues at the ticket booths are very long!
Have a super trip, whatever you decide.

Nefret · 05/10/2010 11:24

If it was me I would be taking my toddler as I have never holidayed without my children. You sound like you want to take him with you anyway!

Obviously you can't ask you husband but what do you think he would want to do?

Original poster

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 05/10/2010 13:30

Thanks for the info guys! I'll check out that website Figgygirl.

Nefret- I personally would like to take him with me but I have a feeling DP would like it to be just the 2 of us so I think I'm going to have to put my feelings aside as it is his birthday afterall. I can't discuss it with him as I want it to be a suprise.

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 05/10/2010 13:35

I would go for it. It is likely to be the only time that you and your DH will get away in the next year or so, as you will be less likely to leave both DCs with GPs for the weekend.

It will also prepare you and your DS for you not being there for a day or two when you deliver the new baby. I know that the norm is to not linger in hospital but you could be a night or two and the more happy your DS is about staying with his GPs, the less stressful it will be for you.

LIZS · 05/10/2010 13:38

Leave him and enjoy a relaxed meal out or two, lie ins, long bath ... It may be your last chance in a long while ! We went to Venice for a long weekend when ds was a simialr age. Could your parents stay at yours so he wakes up at home ?

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