Jet lag recovery time

[looneymum]

My ex is emigrating to Aus and is taking the children out next year for three weeks. He is proposing leaving them with 3 days to recover when they return to the UK before they return to school. This is obviously unacceptable. Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom or documented evidence showing what is best? I am thinking at least a week (but perhaps two!) to recover as they have never done a trip like this before.

They will be 9 and 6 at the time of travel.

Thanks.

My experience, along with others on here is around 1 hour for every hour time difference. That said, it really depends on how long they sleep on the flights, where in Australia they will be (WA is different to the Eastern States) and how their general wellbeing is when they come back.

However, I do not think 3 days back before going to school is enough time to get over it. I don't recover after 3 days coming back to the UK! I think you'd be better with a week. 2 is probably too much.

Bugger...that should be 1 day for every hour of time difference!

Hi Tefal

Thanks for your posts. They are going to Sydney. I am going to suggest no less than 1 and a half weeks recovery... which seems to me a good compromise but from what I've seen to date my Ex doesn't really care about once they are back as he wont have to look after them.

If anyone has any documents they could point me towards, then that would be great.... I imagine we will end up back in court for this bit too so anything "concrete" would really help. Obviously, as you say Tefal, it is really down to the kids themselves and how they cope so I need to factor that unknown in.

Thannks

Hi

Thx Vegasmum

Yep. As you say, tons of bad feeling, mostly because I am trying to do the best for the children's welfare given the unknows. I am trying to manage their home lives, homesickness, time away from me, new surroundings and jet lag on the top. All I want is to make sure they are given sufficient time to recover. Ex is saying three days is adequate but I def think a week gives them a chance of full recovery prior to starting a new term at school in September. I am being reasonable and accommodating whilst he has argued about whether he can be arsed to come and get them and take time off work whilst they are in Aus.

Sorry, your advice is of course helpful and I am rung out with two years of trying to maintain stability whilst encompassing a massive change to the children's lives.

Time for a glass of vino yet?!!

xx

This is crazy.

There are plenty of families who go to Australia for the Christmas holidays. Obviously, having 2 weeks to recover is not on.

Children can easily go to school with jetlag, and 3 days is plenty of time to get over the worst of it. The key thing is to get on a normal eating schedule, and the sleeping will follow.

You are being unreasonably difficult, and thoughtless about the wonderful opportunity for your children.

Thx RWB

The children will not have seen their father for six months prior to the trip as I say, he is emigrating, so it's not just a simple holiday. I have always endorsed the fantastic opportunity. They will go to Aus every year for at least three weeks.

My concern is that as they have only ever managed a holiday to Spain and that consideration must be given to recovery time and how their lives will be impacted.

Of course, once the first trip has been a success and I am happy that they are happy then the recovery time can be reduced accordingly.

What they have to gain - by spending time with their father and seeing an amazing country - is far more than they will lose by being tired for a few days at the start of the school year.

Well, when we've done Australia it's taken us 3 days each way to get back to normal.

The one time we did it with dd, it was the same. If anything, she recovered quicker than us.

But I can understand your concern and I would have thought a week would be sufficient.

Thx for your comments they are very unhelpful. Still, if you would let your children go to school with jetlag, then that is your choice. I feel it would not be a good position for them to be put in. The children have 8 weeks holiday in the summer it is simply unreasonable for him to arrange the trip at the end of their holidays rather than towards the beginning, giving them the chance of a decent recovery time.

It would indeed be crazy to ignore the impact on the children on this first trip but as I say, once it has taken place then it will be easy to assess their needs going forward.

I have always fully supported the relationship with their father, even tho he has chosen to emigrate to the other side of the world, making physical contact about as difficult as it could possibly be.

Thx Squeaver. A week recovery seems sensible to me. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hopefully they will be fine. DD2 is a particularly tired child and struggles at school even in a regular week!

Thanks for your support - have a good evening.

Children are very resilient, but they will easily pick up on negative vibes from you.

I have kept my attitude to the trip very positive for the children - let's hope they are as resilient as we all hope. After all, the trip needs to be a success and a positive experience for them, leaving the DCs with a feeling that they are excited to return in future years.

Good for you. I wouldn't have my children going to school with jetlag either. It is an horrendous feeling. We're coming back from Oz to the UK next week and I am dreading it.

Personally, I find myself exhausted to the point of feeling sick by t-time and struggling to be awake beyond 7 pm! I am then wide awake at 4 am! You can't expect young children to go to school on those hours. Coming out here I don't suffer anything at all!

That said, jetlag hits people differently and I think you are right to give the children a week to recover.

Perhaps those above who say 3 days and off to school is ok haven't travelled as far as Sydney?

What a fantastic opportunity for them though so I'd probably give in to the ex if it was headed towards court. May be compromise with him if it gets tough and ask for 5 days? Good luck.

2 weeks?? madness. 2-3 days will be fine.

What are the timings of the flights? Kids will sleep on the plane, most overnight long-haul lands very early doors.

IMO A few days should be fine, we do NZ to UK annually. Children recover much better than adults as a rule as they sleep/nap on the plane, in transit and as and when they want. Also they are 9 and 6, the first days back at school are usually slow and the school should be able to compensate for the fact they may not be quite up to speed.

people all take diff times to recover & it will be a new experience for them.

having said that, dd has landed from the US & gone straight to school - age 4. she always recovers far better than i do. many business people get off the plane & go straight to work.

a week would be ideal, but 3 days should be do-able, esp. if they don't have a full week to start the term. in fact, it can be better to have something to do & keep them busy, it gets them back into the routine so much quicker.

it is annoying that with so much flexibility he is going for the end of the holidays, but if he is new to the job, then he may have less freedom than them?

if they were age 16 & going straight into exams, i would say no, but at their ages i don't think this one is worth going to court over. if he starts demanding that they miss school for weeks on end, that would be the sticking point for me.

also what kickassangelsaid- the people I PA for land at 6am from China and are in a meeting in London at 2pm (hardcore)

These people are all 50+. Kids are much more resilient. They don't even understand time/hour changes so they really won't even notice.

I remember going to SF when I was 10.. We stayed in a Travelodge for one night and I recall waking at 4am confused. Next night 6am, following night forgotten.

HTH

Mine need three days at the very most to recover from this flight. Usually they just 'power through' on the excitement that first day and go to bed at the ordinary time and are fine the next day though. They are 3 and 6.

Hi Everyone and thanks for your posts.

I so hope that three days will be enough. I suppose I just want to give them the best possible chance of recovery. This will be a whole new experience for the DCs and I want them to have a great time. It would be unthinkable that they are so affected by the jet lag that it clouds how they feel about going again.

My ex doesn't have a job in Aus and so it seems he is choosing dates that don't fully accommodate what is best for the children in terms of recovery. They have not done the trip before (or in fact been away from me for longer than 2 weeks) and given that everyone recovers differently, on this first trip we can measure how they are affected and take it from there for trips going forward.

Anyway, thanks again. My view has always been to try to be as accommodating and reasonable as possible whilst trying to give consideration to the children's welfare.

If they are not back to normal after 3 days, then the routine of going back to school will actually help get them back to normal extremely quickly.

Children cope with jetlag much better than adults, in my experience.