When did attitudes to death change?

[RumNotRun]

This isn't a TAAT but a thread did start me thinking about it. When did attitudes towards death change in the UK? Back in the Victorian era there were photos of the dead, and we didn't seem to be so squeamish. Now it seems to be something not really spoken about, certainly photos of the deceased aren't the "done thing". Was this to do in part with the rise of photography, as in one would already have photos of the loved one so wouldn't need one of them dead?

As a nation it seems that we used to be more pragmatic but now it's all "he passed" and "she's gone to a better place".

I think things shifted a lot with WW1, because there was just so much death, and obviyou wouldn't have a photo of your dead son's body if it was in little bits somewhere over the Somme. Some of the more elaborate death practices from the Victorians didn't really work with that, either, sometimes for the practical reasons of textile factories turning to military fabrics rather than black bombazine, and also because people had to get on with running the home front.

Antibiotics, vaccines and other medical advances means infant mortality is far lower, as is death in childbirth. H&S legislation- much of which has come about as the result of someone dying - means workplace deaths are also less common.

The rise of photography probably does come into it, too.

But the language- when someone says "she passed," my first reaction is, "passed what? Driving test? Exam?" I'd prefer it to be less euphemistically. Just say she died and be clear.

Because death was such a huge part of life then, many people lived more cheek by jowl as well.

One of the reasons average life expectancy was so low was because so many small children died.It was not unusual for families to use the same name more than once for their children. Very simple accidents and fevers that would be easily regulated these days would just kill people off. People were just used to it.

You say back in the Victorian era there were photos with the dead but I wonder how accurate that is and how many folk have these photos in their family history as proof? I think I assumed this was a mostly upper class/upper middle class thing.

im half Irish and half British which means I’ve experienced wakes with the dead person in the room where you’re all sitting round eating cakes and having a natter for 3 days versus UK funerals and I vastly prefer Irish ones. They seem way more comfortable with facing death and I feel I grieve better.

The Victorians made a veritable cult out of death and mourning, Much of it was spurred on by the way that Queen Victoria mourned Prince Albert. She had servants keep his room exactly as it was. Each day they had to lay out his clothes and hot water for him to shave, just as though we was still alive. The upper and middle classes followed her example until, as mentioned upthread, the WWI.

In some ways death is now the last taboo, However many people are beginning to plan their own funerals in a simpler way with unattended cremations and a memorail of some kind later.

People are uncomfortable talking about death / dead bodies. When my dad died I shared with friends how peaceful he looked in the chapel of rest and you could see some people seemed uncomfortable with that.

One of my closest friends died last year and we sat with her for several hours and several friends & also friends of her daughter came over to pay respects and it felt very normal and natural to spend that time with her, to see her so peaceful, but also so very sad as she was too young. I try and normalise death, but appreciate not everyone is comfortable with that.

There are some books on this, which you might enjoy. I would really recommend Thomas Laqueur's The Work of the Dead. And the classic volume The Hour of Our Death by Philippe Aries.
Drew Faust's This Republic of Suffering, which examines death in the American Civil War is also a superb read (it won a Pulitzer Prize, if I recall correctly).

Thank you all, I knew the wise people on here would know! And thanks for the book suggestions, I will have a look for them.