Unplanned year out - anyone been through this?

[ChildrenOfAlbionRovers]

Please be gentle with me whilst I seek the comfort of strangers.

I posted about this under a different username, changed lest DS sees this. To summarise briefly: DS got his firm university place but decided to 'trade up' as a slightly more prestigious uni in his subject was unexpectedly in clearing. He now massively regrets what he did and is freaking out, and of course his original university cannot reinstate the place he declined.

He is also worried because his grades (ABB) are fractionally below what his target universities usually accept, so if he reapplies in the autumn there is no guarantee he'll get an offer. He could go back through clearing next year, of course, but his target unis are frequently not in clearing (they had unexpectedly low demand this year, but we can't predict next year, of course).

I know it's his own fault, but this last week has been a total shitshow, and seeing him so unhappy has me in ruins.

DS is now considering a year out, but of course we have no plans for this. He could maybe do a 1-year A-level online in something he's interested in without too much pressure, work on his language and programming skills, volunteer, find some paid work (not much around, would be retail or something maybe).

Sorry for long post. Anyone been through an unplanned year out? How did you go about helping your DC to structure things? Any advice? I feel lost here, tbh.

TIA.

People on other threads are going thru hell with Exeter accommodation, even when they firmed way back, so don’t be looking there with rose-tinted specs. Southampton is better known for cs than Exeter so he did trade up and should stick with it given his grades won’t guarantee him anywhere better next time. Downplay it as last min nerves and be positive about getting past that and cracking on. Many good student cities have rough parts and it’s not what makes or breaks the uni experience. He needs to start it with an open mind and not pre-judge so much.

One thing to know is that you can access 4 years of student finance for a first undergraduate degree.

So he could go to the new uni, hate it and drop out. He could then go back through ucas and reapply for other unis and still have the funding for a full 3 year degree.

You need to know at what point the full fees are due. If you drop out early enough you can have a reduced fee liability. But you need to check the specific uni and specific time for this.

Also if he gets more than halfway through the year it could well be worth continuing to the end and taking the exams before dropping out. If he does this there could be a fallback award. So often, if you complete the first year and pass you could be awarded a Cert HE. The details for this are in the programme specification document. Worth finding that document to know whats what.

Also if he did take a year out and reapply grades in hand are often very attractive to universities and they will often accept a grade drop based on the published grades.

There is a lot going on at the moment and everything feels like a rush. Take the weekend to really think things through. And possibly visit Southampton. Things will work out in the end!

I used to work in Southampton regularly and it isn’t rough.

If his halls are a bit away from campus he will get the bus like everyone else! The buses serving the uni are great.

Sounds like he could do with another visit? Has he been on any chats online with other students doing his course? My DS was quite worried about going to Cambridge as a WC student but “made friends” online easily ahead of starting which gave him more confidence. July baby so I understand your concern.

A year out sounds just right for him. And any job would also be a good thing. A solid year of working- even at NMW - will stand him in good stead for future summer internships and so on.

And as a pp says upthread, some employers will be quite flexible with good employees so he could develop a good working relationship with a large retailer.

The Careers adviser at my place for my discipline (arts and humanities) always advises that employers like to see any kind of work on a graduate’s CV. It shows they know how workplaces operate, and that the student has a good working relationship ethic.

I am really struggling to see Southampton as rough if he went to an inner city Birmingham school.

It may not be as beautiful as Exeter, but it certainly isn't rough for a city.

If he doesn't need the year out for financial reasons and he doesn't have any desire to travel then I think he should go- moving to uni is scary, loads of people have doubts.

CS at Southampton is a fantastic course. Really up to date with lots of AI and employers rate it highly.
its not a rough city and Uni accommodation is plentiful. It's a v popular Uni and he'll have a great time.

He may be best to give Southampton a go but if he's interested in a year out / needs more time then it was years ago when this happened to me (Cambridge gave me an offer with a year out as DoS taking one so in August started looking) but the scheme still seems to exist. It used to have connections with Birmingham University.

Then it was called a Year In Industry and it was for people doing Engineering degrees. I contacted them in August doing an Economics degree and had a placement in a computer software firm with a professor from Birmingham University by start of September. It says here they are taking placements now for September ish starts. It was mainly based in the firm but also had courses like welding, making a drill draft which were in Coventry.

https://www.etrust.org.uk/programmes-platinum-placements

i got Southampton through clearing, many years ago, but I go back often and it really isn’t rough. I had the time of my life and cried when I left!

Also, I now live fairly near Exeter, dd2 went to 6th form there. I would genuinely think your ds would have a better time at Southampton! Exeter's quite small as a city and there are plenty of rough areas, plus lots of accommodation is far from campus according to friends' kids who are there. Everyone this year seems to be struggling with accommodation in Exeter, too, dds best mate is highly stressed (and she got her first choice so not through clearing).

It really sounds like he's envisaged it so clearly he's struggling to let go of that. Also, I know zero about maths, but I can't imagine it's ideal to not do it for a year? Might be wrong about that, though.

Southampton was massively hit by bombing in WWII and much of those areas were not rebuilt as before. On the other hand, there is a fair bit of local pride in the part that Southampton played during the war.

It does however have a lovely central park, with some great shopping areas and there are some residual Georgian buildings and older.

There is a really good theatre, the Mayflower, with a fringe style studio theatre. There are excellent restaurants, several by the University.

There is West Quay Shopping centre with a big John Lewis and Marks and Spencer - and a Hollister - and a huge IKEA. At Christmas, you can see the big cruise liners and other ships come into port with their lights shining through the dusk.

The general hospital is really good.

The town centre is busy and there are a lot of young people.

The New Forest is wonderful. And Southampton is of course close to the sea. So I am sure there would be opportunities for students to do some sailing etc. And there are beaches all along the coast, Bournemouth isn't far, but also smaller less busy places. Winchester would also be a beautiful place to visit and quite close.

Also, their Computer Science is an excellent department and has a lot of ties to Oxford.

The Computer Science teacher at my son's grammar school was hoping that his daughter would get a place at Southampton to do CS, for example.

And I should think that accommodation is less expensive than some southern universities.

At least some of the university buildings look rather good - from what I have seen - has your son been for a look around yeet?

This is insane. I thought you were talking about Birmingahm or Manchester. My eldest has just graduated from Southampton and it is fine! He had a great old time. Southampton itself has some fairly rough bits but nothing like bits of South London he was used to or areas of Manchester and Nottingham I go to with work. Seriously, this is bonkers. Southampton Common is very nice. Glen Eyre and other student accommodation areas are leafy suburbs. The marina area is lovely. The campus area is not at all dilapidated. The library and gym are the same as the libraries and gyms at every top uni I have visited. Ok Portswood where much of the student housing for 2nd and 3rd year is is a bit crappy, like most student hosuing areas in cities, but there wpuld be nothing stopping him living further out near the wharf. And whilst it is a bit mixed demographic round there (students and poor people basically, like every uni city) there are lots of bars and restaurants and gyms and DS had a great time there, with regular society organised socials and pub crawls etc.

Southampton CS is very highly regarded by employers. Tell him to go to Southampton! Or at least start the forst year and see how he gets on.

Southampton is absolutely fine. And it's an easy train journey home to Birmingham too.

My son missed his grades for a course at UCL that he really wanted to do. He was inconsolable and refused to take up his insurance offer. This was Edinburgh so I was frustrated as it’s a great uni but he was adamant. He took a gap year and reapplied to Kings. He got a job at Clarks and stayed at home for the year so not very exciting. As it turned out his first year at uni was 2020 so it was a bit of a shitshow but no one could have predicted that. I think if your DS is feeling like this then he should just take a year to reapply.

He WILL probably get off campus accom, but at Southampton that can be nicer and down by the wharf area. Ds friend from school went as insurance and got that and again had a fine old time. There is also a lot of movement in the first few weeks so he can keep on at the accomodation people and might be able to move if he doesn't like it.

However, are you aware of what a nightmare accomodation at Exeter has been this year because of their building works? My younger child starting this Sepetember didn't insure it for that reason and we now no 2 girls personally that firmed Exeter and have been given off campus accommodation, so he may have been in a worse position anyway at Exeter.

I do get it. My kids went to school in grimey South London so were looking for leafy campus experience for a few years and Southampton isnt really that. So I understand why a Birmingham kid was also envisaging that. But Southampton really isnt London or Birmingham. It was the most highly ranked DS1 could apply to with his predicted grades and he had a great time, graduated this summer with a 2:1 and starts his graduate job in a couple of weeks. Interviewer mentioned they liked Southampton graduates (and Bath and Exeter tbf but yiu get the point).

Also I work it IT and Southampton CS grads are highly regarded. He's got to give it a go, surely?