DC2 told us after half a term that she hated her accomodation, hated the teaching in her course, hadn't met anyone on her course and didn't make friends in her accomodation. She reached out to student services who changed her meal plan so she could eat at another hall where she did have friends, her course leader told her the teaching would change, they just needed to get some theory out of the way in the first term. It took student services nearly a whole term to get her moved different accomodation. We searched activities that might be interesting for her and she went to a games afternoon, she has joined a climbing gym, she has been tree planting and has applied and been accepted for a number of paid student positions. She has also signed up to do a half marathon and been to walk round some country parks... Deciding to do things she likes doing and just doing them, made others want realise they also wanted to do these things. Then.. one of her house mates for next year didn't come back after half term... that seemed like a major disaster but we spoke to the agent, they could pull out of the contract, and they have found a smaller flat for next year. She also made some friends on her course. She said yes to things, decided to go to things, even if it was on her own and suggested things to people around her...she watches other people in plays, she has been to concerts. She has gone to craft activities. Now when she is alone, she doesn't feel lonely. She does play sport and she goes to watch other people's matches. She doesn't go to all of the socials but she does go to some of them. Overall she is happier.
I know two other students who will see out the year and is applying now, for other places and have recently received offers.
I also have a whole list of stories of students who were not able to reach out and say they were struggling .. including my eldest.. things spiralled.. there were times when it seemed quite bleak.. but he has landed a place on a course where he is very happy.. applied on the morning of clearing... since talking about his experience, I have been shocked at how many other people have similar stories.
Yes.. she might find the same problems elsewhere... but she might not.. being a year older will simply mean she will hit the ground running, find things that she enjoys doing, that may not be the same as other people do... finding a way to simply be..
Filling the mamy hours outside of lectures is a challenge for many students. Drinking, gaming or doom scrolling is not enough. We had many more contact hours at university than my children do. How to fill that time without feeling depressed, unsatisfied and unfulfilled is a real issue.