DS wants to drop out, how can I best advise?

[HGC2]

DS is not loving his course, not hating but unsure if it’s for him. Also unsure what he actually wants to do.

if he had an alternate plan I’d support but he doesn’t, how do I encourage him from here?

I found that my university course wasn’t really for me, but I persisted with it for all three years. In hindsight, it would have been best to drop out at some point before I’d wasted all that time and money. It would have been better to waste one years’ worth than three years’ worth.

But, consider the timing. He may be best to at least finish this year to be able to complete some credits which he may be able to cross-credit to something in future, if applicable. Obviously it’s hard to know whether that applies without knowing what sort of course etc.

In terms of not having an alternate plan, obviously the minimum expectation should be that he is in some form of work or study. Dropping out to do nothing shouldn’t be an option.

Hi, OP -

Any idea what’s behind this?

What year is he? Did he have first semester exams?

He could be coming from so many different places that it is hard to advise without knowing more

Finish the year, get the credits and either change uni / course or take a gap year and focus on what he wants to do. It’s hard making such an important decision at 18. Good luck to him!

I finished my second year, took a year out and wasn’t planning on going back but my tutor kept in touch and persuaded me to go back for my final year. Looking back, I should just have done my Erasmus year as planned but I was desperately unhappy at uni and wanted to leave.

He’s just not sure what he wants to do, sees his siblings living uni snd feels a bit like he’s not having the same experience. He’s first year and isn’t in uni as much as I think would be good for him, he’s not an online learner really.
he’s also not sure what he does actually want to do, think I’ll encourage him to stick it out while he figures this out. He’s not unhappy, just a bit unsatisfied I think

What is he studying and where? Does he like the location? Does he have a good group of friends? Has he joined any clubs and societies? How’s he finding the academic side of things?

I agree with the advice to check whether he could transfer credits to a new course if he decides to return to university at some point. Dropping out mid-term can be expensive if sticking it out until June means that you’ll have transferable credits.

I’m saying this because I know some parents IRL whose daughter did drop out mid-term. They still had to pay the tuition and she had nothing to show for it.

So, OP, writing as an academic it sounds as if perhaps DS like many Y1 students is relying heavily on recorded lectures and perhaps not engaging much with his course. You can’t know how much you like your course if you aren’t giving it a good effort, week by week.

We see this all the time; it rapidly becomes a chicken and egg situation and it’s very hard to know which came first: did the student disengage because they are on the wrong course, or are they experiencing ennui because they haven’t gotten involved enough to feel enthusiasm? Uni can be hard, and if you are really unengaged things can quickly reach a point where your lectures may as well be in a foreign language. How boring is that?

I am not minimising the possibility that DS is on the wrong course. A change might be exactly right. But until he figures out what is driving this, I would go with the odds, which are that he is one of the many who have tuned out because they are overwhelmed. The risk is that it could happen again on a new programme

I agree with you that DS needs structure. Probably staying the course until he can identify something wrong with it, and develop a better alternative, is a good idea.

PS As a general rule, I think there is much to be said for a structured gap year. It helps most YP grow up. There is nothing wrong with doing this after giving uni a go for a year. Many have a better idea of what they want to do afterwards, and succeed better as a result.

But it needs to be planned.

Thanks all, he is away in today and I've told him to speak to his course tutor. I think his real struggle is just that he isn't loving it or sure what he wants to do with it at the end. More chats required, no issues with him stopping or changing but a plan is needed, lets face it, he can't float from one thing to the next unless he is certain.
It is hard when you just don't know what career to be heading for and he sees his friends and siblings so set on their direction.

If it’s not him him let him leave, or if he dies another year he would have to self fund first year on another degree if he chooses to do so.

I’d make sure to let him know not to worry too much if he wants to drop out as Student Finance England (assuming that’s what he is with) fund for the length of his current course + 1 year.

Lot’s of students change their mind during their first year, so he would still get full funding if he chose to go back to university at a later date or if he wants to change courses.

But I would make sure he knows that this will only fund for another 3 years, so if he does want to drop out then during his first year is the best choice.

Thanks all, he has decided to stick with it until he figures out what he does want to do so that is something. He is enjoying one of his classes a bit more this week at least, even if he makes it to the end of the year he will have some transferrable credits.

It is hard not being able to fix things for them like I could when they were tiny but I'm glad he is being sensible about thinking things through and he's glad I am supporting him

For many careers what your degree is in does not matter, he just needs a degree that gives him some skills. So the fact that he doesnt know what he wants to do yet doesnt mean he should leave the course. Sticking it out for a year while considering other options is sensible.

Has he had any experience of working for a living yet? If not getting a part time job or working in the holidays would should him how boring some work is. If he wants to have any choice of work it's better to have a degree.

Yyes he does work too, sometimes too many hours in my opinion! I am also not doing anything linked to my first degree but it helped me get into my masters so I completely agree with you.

Can you afford to up what you give him so he doesnt have to do as much paid work and either have a better social life or engage more with his course? Then he'd probably feel better about the course.