Balancing PhD and parenting and constant guilt

[Zara445]

I have a 10 yr old DD, single parent, but DD sees her dad 3/4 times a week. I am currently writing up my PhD have 3 months to go - so it really is crunch time. I feel constantly guilty - if I work when my daughter home I feel bad we are not having quality time together, but then feel guilty I am not working on PhD and start to feel stressed. I work part time so can work on PhD 3 days a week and will try work in evening but then my brain is fried! Any useful tips and advice from anybody who has got through this successfully!

Assuming your daughter goes to bed at a reasonable time I'd go to bed at the same time and get up at 5am to work on the PhD when you're fresh and she's still asleep and then spend the evening after school with her. Otherwise she really is being sidelined a bit. Best of luck

Writing up a PhD is tough. I did my PhD part time with children over 6 years. They were 5 and 7 when I started, 11 and 13 when I finished. I also worked 3 days a week.

Don't feel guilty - keep going, 3 months isn't long. Can you and your DD plan a little trip away to celebrate once you're finished? That will give you and her something to look forward to.

Good luck

It's just 3 months the faster you get it over and done with the better. You're almost there don't give up now. Try work in the mornings and be efficient with your time. It doesn't have to be perfect on first draft, you can get tips from your supervisor.

Your daughter will be proud of you once done! I'm impressed you did it as single parent!

I'm an academic so writing up research most of the time with a primary aged set of dc. I have found that you just have to park the work when the dc need you around. There is no point in even trying because it just makes everything feel awful.

Most women in my faculty with dc work 4-7am to keep up and more in the evening. Leave the dross work like creating tables or checking references for the evening work. But always always always leave yourself the next steps for the next day so you launch yourself off at 4/5am with a clean plan or what needs to happen. Hit the ground running.

Thank you @Juja Yeah it really is tough, we've got a holiday booked just after I submit so using that to spur me on :)

That's all really helpful, thank you. I think going to bed the same time as daughter and getting up very early will help. I've banned myself from working on a Sunday as it is our time, and I don't work on it until she's in bed, unless she has friends over. Family and friends have offered to take her out after school so I can work on it, but then I feel guilty we're not having quality time - but just need to remember it is only 3 months.

Sounds perfect - well done for booking the holiday.

Try and chunk it up at this stage, little short and sharp inputs - an hour in the early morning I found was good - but everyone is different. 😀Sounds as though you're on top of it but please don't feel guilty - you sound like a super mother - just a hard grind at this stage.