Help for DS struggling with exams at Cambridge

[TomeletteswithGreggs]

Would really appreciate some help from the wise minds here.
DS, 21, is doing a masters ( Mphil) in Economics at Cambridge. Some background: he's academically very sound, got a first at undergrad. Also is very resilient and generally super calm.
But he's now incredibly stressed about mock exams in January, saying he is bound to fail. He has been promised a grad job in September 2026 in a dream role, conditional on passing his masters. So I guess there is pressure, though not from us. I think he underestimated the difficulty of the course. Almost tearful now which is very unlike him.

I have told him to contact his supervisor for help and he is doing that. Anything else I can do?

Why does he think he's going to fail? Is it the volume of material to be revised? Is it that he didn't understand the content in the first place? Is it the format of the exam?

But ultimately, there's not much you can do for him. Other than help him keep calm, reassure him that he probably knows more than he thinks, etc

Mocks are horrendous. It doesn't matter that much how he does in the mocks. Can he talk to any of the others on his course who were there for undergrad? In first year I think 50% plus of us did pretty appallingly in mocks. I think they do it to panic them. He's very unlikely to then fail his final exams; I don't know anyone who failed as long as they went to lectures, did their essays and generally didn't spend the entire year clubbing.

If he is very bright this may be the first major academic challenge that he has ever faced. This happens to most of us at some point but at different stages in our lives (mine was second year of uni). Reassure him that this is very normal and something that happens to all of us. His mocks are just mocks - it's not the end of the world if he fails, he still has time to improve in time for the real thing. Is he at home with you? Take him out for a walk to get some fresh air and exercise.

This is normal for Cambridge.
they throw insane amounts of work at you and then you panic about the exams.

in practice the exams are usually not so bad - or if they are horrendous everyone does badly.

I went as undergrad. By year 3 I’d worked it out.

he needs to look at whatever past papers are available. Work out the format. There’s usually a fair bit of choice. Work out what he needs to revise and which topics aren’t worth it.

Reassure him that he earned his place on the course, Cambridge selection process is effective, so he does 'belong' and it's for the uni to support him if something is going wrong.

Let him know that if (although v unlikely) he was to fail his course, choose to leave it, not get that particular grad job etc, you would love and support him just the same. He is loved and valued for who he is, not his achievements. It sounds like he is putting a lot of pressure on himself. People don't tend to not pass masters degrees though.

Was he at a different uni for undergraduate?

Thanks all for the reassuring messages. He's in Cambridge now. We are in London. He was down for Christmas and seemed ok but quiet, leaving on Boxing Day to study. We are going down to Cambridge on Friday for some moral support. We have reassured him that the job, grades etc don't matter and there's always room for him with us.

He says he doesn't understand the material. Plus the volume of material to be studied.

Neither of us studied Economics so no idea where the issue is. Maybe it's just that he has been academically challenged for the first time plus everyone around him seems to be doing fine! Not a clubbing sort, hard worker and sporty in his spare time.
His undergrad degree was in Economics too, not at Cambridge but at a top London uni. ( don't want to be identified so won't say which, but rigorous).

I suspect despite being at a top London uni he has talked himself into impostor syndrome by now being at Cambridge. Hopefully that is all it is and he will sail through. He says he doesn't understand but again I suspect he may be catastrophising because you don't know enough yourself to assure him he is not. He is putting the work in so that is a good sign. My son was working Boxing Day too for his postgraduate studies exams in January. I would worry more if I wasn't seeing any signs of study taking place.

Handhold for you and hopefully he will be out the other side soon.

Research private tutoring or speak to previous students?

I think he needs to find a PhD student who can provide some private tutoring.

Would recommend that he speaks to his personal tutor or equivalent. There is a a lot of pastoral support now for students and universities have a responsibility for their students’ welfare. He should put feelers out rather than try to tough it out and possibly get to a stage where the pressure is even more intense and he has less time to address the issues he’s encountering. My masters was in the humanities and at a RG rather than Cambridge, so I’m sure less intense, however without a doubt the relevant staff in his department would much rather he open a line of communication with them. Often high achievers can also be perfectionists and will put huge pressure on themselves, breaking down the problem through dialogue on the areas of issue could give him a pathway to working through them.

If he wants external professional help then I know that Keystone Tutors have tutors capable of teaching to postgrad Oxbridge level.
(No affiliation to that company other than knowing that their tutors go a level or two above most in terms of academic stages)

Great advice above from others. I think the key bit is (as you're already doing) reassuring that actually the worst case scenario isn't actually that bad, and is vanishingly unlikely.

As others say, it's probably the first time he's found anything genuinely academically hard and it really is brutal. I was convinced I was going to fail, most of my classmates were too. We were fine 😁

It is definitely worth telling his director of studies he feels like he's struggling, but at this point I might be tempted to hang on til his mock results are in, assuming it will only be a couple of weeks into January that he'll get them. If it's any longer I would tell them now, but generally my cohort found everyone was in a similar boat after mocks so it was reassuring enough to then manage. He shouldn't need external tutoring, unless his college is totally brassic I would expect them to arrange additional supervisions if necessary, if he's really struggling. That was what they did for a friend who was having a really hard time, and it got them over the hump for the bits they just couldn't get their head around.

Is the material very different in nature? Is it far more mathematical than his undergraduate was for example?

Would also recommend getting a tutor. Look at Super Profs - not cheap getting support at this level but it’s very helpful.

I would suggest he speaks to his supervisor or to the coordinator of the course he is struggling with. They are likely to be able to offer support and guidance and potentially arrange some extra supervision with someone who is guaranteed to be at the right level and without him having to pay for it.

But he probably ought to wait and see how the mocks go first. They may go better than he fears, and if not, they should show him exactly where he is struggling and what he needs to focus on.

Update: We visited DS and decided to back him in not doing the.mocks and taking a complete break for a few days. I know doing the mocks would have been better but he seems completely burnt out. He also had a bad flu attack in Dec.
He says he doesn't need a tutor but he needs to get rid of his smartphone and just put in more effort for finals.

Gosh. I hope he's alright OP. I can't imagine they'll be up for him not doing the mocks at all. Won't he just end up having to do them next week instead? I am sorry to hear he sounds so burnt out. I hope the additional break helps but I fear that not doing them is likely to build them up to more of an issue in his head and also means he'll either have to fit them round lectures or that he won't have any concrete evidence of how he's doing (which I think usually ends up being reassuring).

Still, I do get he probably feels dreadful. My parents used to leave me sobbing on the side of the road sometimes when they went home; I was really ill for most of my degree and if left me in a right state. I still don't know if sticking it out was the right answer, but the further I get from my degree the more it continues to benefit me, so hopefully it was.

My heart goes out to your DS. He sounds lovely and very committed.

I did a MSc in Economics at a top London Uni having not studying economics at undergraduate level but having been at Oxford so used to high workload. I would spend hours crying over the economics formula and finding it very very hard. I also had my one and only panic attack in an exam, my heart still misses a beat when I bike past that building. But I passed. The key is to ask for help, also do lots of past papers. They are not expecting you to get it all right.

Asking for help is tough but worthwhile. They will have taken him because he has the potential to do well.

Good luck and hope he can keep going one day at a time...

The thing is, if he doesn’t do the mocks, he is passing up the chance to get formative feedback while he can still do something about it.

But hopefully not doing the mocks will mean he has to reach out for support in order to explain why he isn’t taking them, and he will then be on the radar of the welfare team.

This is a really good idea

It’s really good you are looking out for him. Mental health and academia is very tough. I was an older PhD student at an elite Univerosty and in no way at all struggling. I was producing world class research according to my supervisors and winning lots of fellowships and scholarships. I submitted my PhD and went into a kidn fo delusional psychotic breakdown and there has been no signs or forewarnings. I was anxious about my research as it was a sensitive topic (which ended up being related to a major news story) but it broke me completely and in nine years I have never recovered. This isn’t to scare you as ot sounds like he is self aware which I wasn’t but please ge thin to ask the university for help if he needs it. No qualification is worth losing your entire life for.

Thanks for your views. @Ineffable23 he has been told that mocks are strongly encouraged, but not compulsory. It's not ideal certainly. But hopefully he can get feedback otherwise. He is in constant touch with his welfare team and supervisor. And he's made a plan to recover. We are lucky to be able to go to Cambridge so I have another trip planned shortly.

I think the short term has caught him by surprise. Plus the high level of work. But I do think he is capable and committed.

Get him to speak to his supervisor and see if he can get a copy of the mock test to see what he missed. Sometimes with exams, mock or otherwise, there can be a debilitating fear of the unknown. He may find some reassurance in knowing he would have been able to answer the questions, or they will give him a pointer on how he needs to approach the exams.

Is it high/ advanced maths content? That can be a right pain, as I found I either got advanced maths or didn't and putting more effort in didn't really change things (oxbridge degree in a stem subject). I was good at conceptual/ theoretical maths, but not good at analytical/ applied maths.

The way I did it was to be ruthless in my revision/ preparation for finals. Triaged subjects into what I understood easily. struggled with, and had no clue. Then only focused on the first two categories. Reduced the choice of questions I could answer in finals papers (& increased risk that I would have to answer a tough question) - for example in one paper, I had to answer 5 out of 10, and only revised 5 subjects, so had no choice in which questions to attempt. But it worked for me.

Basically, a mindset change in the lead up to finals. Rather than try and understand everything they meant us to know, focus on ensuring I did as well as possible in finals (the first 2 1/2 years I did try and understand everything - but some just didn't click) Oh yes, and go through the last 10 years of finals papers. I was working very long hours in the end (9-8 in the library)