House Shares at uni year 3

[Carmen866]

Hi , my dd is going into year 3 next year she’s currently in halls , most house shares don’t have locks on the bedroom doors due to fire safety unless HMO.
Im concerned about security she trusts the other 4 friends that she’ll be sharing with but if she’s not there or comes home , the others could have a party or have other people in the house and who knows could enter my DD’s room
I have asked my dd to ask the landlord if she can put some sort of lock on the outside of the door for when she’s out , has anyone else done this ?

I’ve never come across that tbh.

If she has valuable things (laptop, jewellery, £££ clarinet) that she is worried about being stolen (tho it seems a bit of a reach) could you buy her some kind of lockable cabinet for her room? I wouldn’t worry tho.

Is your dd actually bothered? It seems a bit over the top for a uni student to worry about tbh. Is she reflecting your anxiety?

I think doors are not typically lockable in a house rented as a whole-house let, it's more common if the rooms are rented out individually.

Echo the 'get her a lockable box' idea.

No.

this is not usual.

Locks on doors in shared houses are do with if they are registered as an HMO or not. Generally if they are not HMOs and it’s a group of students renting you don’t get locks on individual doors. I can’t remember the exact terms but it is to do with house the house is registered and if it’s one contract or if each room is key individually.

I encourage my uni age kids to leave anything particularly valuable at home. They are sharing with their friends so the worst that happens is someone borrows their hair straighteners etc.

Why is your DD living with people she doesn't trust?

And why are you helicoptering ...?

Why are you so involved? She's an adult, she needs to learn to sort herself out. Anything valuable she should leave with you, or get a small safe.

Rude , if you don’t have anything helpful to say don’t comment please , I asked a question not your advice if you read the post properly its not the flat mates that isn’t to be trusted it’s possibly others that go into the house

Anyone else entering the house will have been invited in by the other flatmates - your dd’s friends.
They won’t be looking for stuff to steal.

DS, girlfriend and another couple were so over halls in their third year they got together and rented a lovely flat. Doing their finals they had to study hard, partying days had palled. Best of all it was cheaper. No issues with randoms coming and going.

Mmm perhaps it’s because we are paying !

You’re hardly the only parents of a uni student who’s covering their rent.
She still doesn’t need you organising her life for her; she’s an adult living independently.

She just needs a,lockable suitcase and leaves laptop etc in there in cupboard or under bed

I don't know why you are getting such a hard time.

Its hard for uni students - they don't always know the people they are living with super well and even if they do - people have different moral compasses or different family rules on what is OK ie a flat mate might have borrowed something from your daughter when she was home ... and then when she was out decided it was OK to borrow again but ends up rummaging through her draws looking for it or whatever, accidentally stumbles across personal medication like the pill or anti-depressants, knocks a glass of water accidentally damaging books etc etc.

I don't think you are being unreasonable but sorry don't know the solution.

I guess with landlords permission something like this might be an option?

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CZMTYKRQ?tag=bguk1-112726-21#averageCustomerReviewsAnchor

Both mine need a laptop for note taking and working on plus a tablet to write the maths on, you can't leave that at home. I suppose it depends what course you are doing but most students have a laptop they take to their lectures. Hardly anyone is handwriting lecture notes.

I don't know why you are getting a hard time OP, my friend came back to uni earlier than expected from going home for the weekend and found 2 people crashed out in her single bed! They were friends of a flatmate and crashed in the bed rather than on the floor or sofa.

This is why both my children are in private halls. No doors left unlocked, 24/7 security, cameras, manned front desk and any strangers invited into the flat by flatmates do not have access to their room. Ds2's room automatically locks behind him. There is a reason uni doors have locks in fact some kitchens have lockable cupboard doors too.

who are you to dictate to me on my parenting how dare you . Why are you even replying if you can’t offer some advice , keep your opinions to yourself.

Omg this is exactly my point , thankyou for your helpful reply , some people on here have too much time on their hands and come on here over opinionated and no help atall . I didn’t ask for advice on how to parent .
We don’t have money to burn which is why I’m concerned , we was hoping that she would stay in halls for her final year . What you have said is precisely what I mean with people going into rooms .your child must have been mortified to see people in her bed this is what I’m worried about .
Thankyou for your understanding

Her experience in halls will be very different to renting a place with her friends though. I think this is one you need to let her use her own judgement on.

Mine have laptops, iPads, headphones you name it but they would often have these things on them. If you’re that worried about these things you can get a cabin sized suitcase and lock stuff in there.

IME the only people that live in halls for years 2 & 3 and beyond are those that don’t find people to live with (or medics where placements makes things tricky). Halls is great for first year but then they need to move on to the next stage. Halls for three years would be quite depressing especially if you end up back in with freshers.

They just need to make sure they’ve chosen friends carefully.

@elevenpiperspiping "IME the only people that live in halls for years 2 & 3 and beyond are those that don’t find people to live with (or medics where placements makes things tricky). Halls is great for first year but then they need to move on to the next stage. Halls for three years would be quite depressing especially if you end up back in with freshers."

Or, they all met in first year sharing a flat in campus halls of residence and they had en-suites. Then they all want a flatshare for years 2 and 3 with an en-suite room and the rooms are identical, all the same size with nice furniture. No sharing a bathroom between 4 people, no tiny room off the kitchen and people drawing straws as to who gets it.

My children were/are in private halls of residence, think IQ, Unite, ie off campus in a beautiful building with table tennis, pool tables, study areas, giant TVs to watch movies on, huge social areas with sofas and a gym. Plus all the stuff I mentioned above, security, cameras, and if they want a cleaner they can pay for as part of it. It is roughly the same cost as first year halls of residence. It also happens to be very close to the uni.

@Carmen866 it was my mate whilst we were at uni when she came home early. We lived in dodgy shared housing with creepy landlords so for my own children we didn't want that. Dh also lived in a uni house that had silverfish in the carpet. Happy days. You are not unreasonable for wanting a lock on her door. Just because she trusts her flatmates doesn't mean that they might not come home really drunk and leave the front door wide open or just unlocked.

Friends daughter moved into private accommodation with friends in second year. Set up their rooms, decided to go out for a drink. When they got back all eight rooms had been robbed of everything of value.

Thankyou for your reply , this is exactly what’s worrying me , I understand the point about halls but it’s clean , my dd can lock the door there’s cameras and security which you won’t get in a house

That’s rubbish :-( I would guess if someone had broken into the house, they would probably also break any internal door locks too.