Is it possible to have a ‘full’ university experience only 25 minutes from home

[LeadOnMcMuffin]

DD has applied for economics courses in London and the Southeast but after visiting them all her strong preference is for Essex, only 25 minutes by car from home. She has chosen it because of its course content, the campus environment, three years guaranteed accommodation in halls, friendly atmosphere and employability prospects. She would live in halls for the three years and is already pretty independent. It really does tick all the boxes for her, but she and we are both wondering if she will miss out on the experience of moving to a new city and living ‘away’ from home. Any thoughts or experiences? I really do not want to sway her either way (and of course from a selfish point of view it will be a delight to have her so close) but want her to consider all the pros and cons. She is considering a year abroad and would like to work or study in London afterwards.

She can always move to a new city after Uni if that's what she wants! I think it's really lucky for you all that she can do a great course so close to home while still being close enough to rely on you/a support network if need be. Lots of people are desperately lonely when they move away to uni. Moving away from your loved ones and community is overrated, in lots of European countries people just study at the closest university. If the course she likes the most happens to be close by, that's fantastic.

Sounds great to me. Geographical distance doesn't mean that much.

And closer proximity to home makes a lot of things easier!

It's not a disaster to stay that close to home, but she will miss out on learning about life in other parts of the UK and it will be (too?) easy for her to slip back into home life and home friends at times when uni life isn't quite offering her what she wants.

I stayed in my home city for uni and regret it bitterly now. Mine have both gone somewhere 3.5+ hours away and each with a distinct culture, quite different from home - I am pleased they have, as it's opened their eyes to other places and make them get used to coping without parental influence.

Of she's living on campus, and you're not visiting her all the time or she doesn't run away home the first time she has a wobble, then of course she can!

I don't think it's necessary to go far away. It just seems to be one of these "expected" things in our culture. In some other cultures, they think it ridiculous to not attend the uni that is on your doorstep (so long as suitable).

Going nearby can have major advantages with friends.

My DD has gone to our local uni. We live a few miles one side of the city and her campus is on the other side, around a 25-30 minute drive from home. She's living in halls this year and next and loving it. We are treating it as though she's further from home because we want her to have the full experience. But honestly, it's nice knowing she's not far. Easiest drop off ever when she moved into halls!

I don't think an 18yo running home having a wobble is really bad though. Even if she did do it.

If the YP isn't going to uni, nobody expects them to move out and uproot themselves to a different city at 18.

She will be living independently. Just nearby.

Thank you for the replies, they are very reassuring. I do not think she will be home very often, and I hope she will make friends at uni as her ‘home’ friends will be away. Currently her plan is to study in Ireland or Scandinavia for her third year, which I agree would be a great idea if she’s staying in her home town. She also plans to apply for summer work experience schemes further afield which will also be good.

I think there a positives and negatives to staying close to home. I grew up somewhere where it was normal to live at home and go to university in your closest city, and I still had an enriching university experience, and there are so many more years of exploring the world and meeting new people after university that uni feels like quite a small portion of time now and not the be all and end all of new experience in life!

A big part of the unique bonding of uni years is living together away from home, and she’ll have that part of it so it will definitely be a totally new and exciting experience in that respect.

What she will miss out on is experiencing a different place and the chance to assess her own identity from a different viewpoint and learn more about herself and other possible ways of being through exposure to brand new people/subcultures/socioeconomic groups.

This lack of exposure means she might also miss out on maximising the chance to expand her network beyond other people she already knows in Essex - compared to if she had to build a totally new network in a new uni town full of people from all over the place - that expanded network can be really valuable in life.

On the other hand, already knowing a core group of people might mean she has a fantastic time, depends existing bonds and builds her network that way - uni is just the start and there is plenty of time to meet new people, travel to new places and have life changing experiences after graduation.

If everything else is perfect about the course and she can’t find that elsewhere then I think I would be tempted to go with her instincts!

Absolutely, I only went a few motorway junctions up but hardly ever went home. Ummed and aahed over it versus my favourite city a couple of hours away, but ultimately the course at my nearest city won.

Yeah this. ^ Both my DC went to university 250 and 300 miles away. Absolute pain in the arse that distance was. I would have LOVED for them to be only half hour's drive away from home.

@LeadOnMcMuffin Yes of course your DD can have a full university experience, even quite close to home.

From your update it sounds like she has lots of plans that will more than make up for the lack of being in a different city for her core university time. She has plenty of time to do the living away from home bit, really no need to rush if she has found the perfect course around the corner and has future plans for adventure anyway.

I grew up in Cambridge and then went there for my undergrad. I swear I saw less of my parents than anyone else. Unless I dragged a bunch of mates across town for Sunday lunch. But I lived in halls all four years and my parents were careful not to cramp my style (of which I had little, sadly!). If I hadn’t I’m sure it would have been a very different thing.

Essex as you've probably seen has a large, self contained campus. I imagine if your DD can live on site (or nearby) for the entirety of the course, she will be absolutely fine and fully absorbed in life there.

The campus is the big appeal really, and I am thinking the same. The other unis applied for are UEA, RHUL, Surrey and QMUL. With the exception of Queen Mary’s I think the campus experience will be pretty similar at all of them and the Essex accommodation guarantee is a big plus. She is great at getting involved in extracurriculars so will not be short of ways to spend her time on campus.

My daughter went a similar distance - she stayed in halls and then house shared. It did make things a tiny bit easier when she was very poorly with fresher flu in the first couple of week & she just went back to her doctor surgery,

She would often appear on a Sunday with washing but then disappear. It was helpful as she kept her part time job from home & when local friends came back from uni they would often end up at her uni house as her uni mates had gone home.

One of my dc is just a 40 minute drive away, longer by train. They are at a campus university and living on campus. I've discouraged them from coming home before Christmas. We have visited them but having them stay put so they invest in campus life and new friendships. Obviously if they were very ill or had some kind of crisis we would let them come home, just as we would from any University location. So far it is going well and I sometimes forget they are nearby. It did make move in day stress free.

I think this is the best of both worlds. Living out and fully immersed in uni life if in halls but able to pop back easily for home comforts every now and again or you can meet for dinner or to drop things off if needed. Perfect

My dd was 30 mins away for UG degree and similar, in a different town, for Master's. She had a PT job in the weekend so rarely pops home. Ironically, her boyfriend has student accommodation about 10 mins from us - and she goes there more often than she ever comes home. Only once in 3 years did I have to go fetch her because she was really poorly.

I agree with PPs, especially as your DD is living on campus - she will have really the best of both worlds.

I'm in Ireland and work in a university here. Many of our students live quite locally, and commute daily (university accommodation is really hard to get and really expensive, so it would be really rare for someone to live away from home if they were able to stay at home. And their commutes are often a few hours each way, so it's tough).

If you live at home while going to university, it's definitely a different experience. I, and all my siblings, went away for university, as we had to for the courses we wanted. Ireland is smaller of course, so it was never that difficult to go home but we didn't do it often. Both my parents had similarly left home for university and were only able to go home at Christmas / other vacations, so it was all considered normal.

My own DC will almost certainly go to university locally (as we live in Dublin) and live at home. They will miss out on a number of experiences I would have had, it's true. But I expect them to take opportunities to live / study abroad during their courses and honestly, if they weren't living at home, it would be nearly impossible for me to afford to send them to university (we don't have student loans here and the grant system is very limited and won't apply to me).

Yes.
Takes effort to go in for clubs and societies but my dd had a great time, and is still really good friends with her uni friends group
Sadly, many of them didnt have a great time on halls or housing, so she was very happy with her choice.
However, she does drive and has her own car which does make a huge difference, as she was able to stay on after lectures, go the pub, gym etc with her friends then head home

Of ours who have been to uni so far we actually saw more of the one who was at uni 200 miles away than the one 45 minutes away.

The one further away made proper plans to come home for holidays and the occasional weekend where as the closer one didn't. They generally only came home at Christmas and summer.

Even for family events they often travelled to and from their halls/student flat.

We are having the same conversations in our house re UEA which DS really liked but is 30 minutes from home. It's the only thing v putting him off. He'll be living on campus and is planning a year abroad too. My thinking is that as they come back into a group a year below them it will give him the option to stay at home for the final year when most of the course is a dissertation. We have been to other cities. He would like to go to London and has applied to QMUL but I suspect most of the kids there either live at home or are international students, and he may have a better time living in London if he gets a job there rather than struggling by on a student loan. The only city he was really enthusiastic about was Nottingham but he's not really a partier so was a bit worried about the reputation.

You have a mix of Russell and non Russell group on your list there. Just flagging in case you were not aware. My parents weren't aware and I wish they had been! It might be a better course at a non-rg but there is a prestige thing about rg unis. I would also check the financial situations.