DS wanting to switch Uni

[Overwhelmed124]

So my son has been at Uni less than one week and is seriously regretting his choice.
Firstly his timetable has him starting every day at 9am which means , because he chose to live at home, he has to get up at 6.30 every day. Commute not too long but 20 mins walk to station, 20 min train ride, 20 min walk to Uni.
Secondly, the plan was that his long time girlfriend would get into same Uni. She would be living in halls and he could stop over occassionally. Unfortunately she didnt get the A level results needed, so is at another Uni in a different city. They see each other on weekends, but again its a train journey and cost to do this.

Hes so sad. We`ve talked it out and he sees that hes just upset things havent turned out as he had envisioned. But hes adament he wants to follow her to this other Uni.

I am happy for him to do this as I feel hes missing out on a proper Uni experience by living at home. But Im not sure he should be throwing everything out that he has now.

The other Uni is comparable "status" wise and Im not worried about the distance and him living away from home. But should he move and if so should he try now or after 1st year?
Is it even possible?? Has anyone elses child managed to do this?

He will have to wait a year to move though, something you haven’t acknowledged. Has he?

It seems he is unhappy about the living and commute conditions rather than the course.
how about trying to arrange student accommodation near his uni?
I don’t think he should choose a uni based on where his girlfriend ended up due to poor A levels.

Will he though? I thought clearing was open until October sometime and the university doesn’t get the tuition money until October 20-something. I don’t know the process but I just helped my DD’s friend apply through clearing last week and the whole thing was super quick and she went on Monday. That was a new application though, she wasn’t anywhere else.

Could he still move into halls? It might be worth him inquiring.

It does sound as though his misery is caused by living at home. If he were living in halls, even if it's only half an hour away he will feel much more part of his uni and be able to go out late without worrying about transport home etc. he should move into halls and stick with it for a term at least.

Surely the best thing to do is for him to call the other uni and find out if it is possible or not, then he can either move or accept that he can't do it yet.
My son didn't move uni but he did change course in the second year to a closely related course.

He really should get accommodation where he is and see the year through, and if in Spring he wants to make the change, make sure the other uni will have him once he's finished the year.

So we have checked accommodation at both unis and it's still available at both. He has contacted the other uni so he's waiting to hear back.
I appreciate that wanting to follow his girlfriend is not a real reason. When he chose the uni he's at, it was solely based on closeness to home. He dismissed all the others but the one his girlfriend is at, was out as an insurance choice. The other uni offers the same course but with an added element not offered elsewhere. This is something he is interested in and formed his uni application as a job area he wants to get into.
All we can do is wait and then we will see what can happen.

Well if there’s spaces yes - given that OP hasn’t said he’s enquired I’d assume there isn’t.

9am classes are always a risk so not a good basis for deciding to move universities.
Why did he want to stay at home? Its worth exploring that again,.especially as its only 1 week in and everything will change a lot before Christmas.

I know of several people who moved unis after a few weeks (one from Bournemouth to Sussex this year). First step has to be to call the uni where he’d like to transfer to and ask admissions if there are any spaces on the course he’s like to do? There are usually drop outs and no shows so he may get lucky, so try to work from there? Similarly, rooms often free up in halls for the same reason, so if he manages to get a space he may be able to find rooms. Or he can kip with his GF some nights and live off campus.

My DD started uni this week and it seems that at least three of her dorm/flatmates (in halls) have a gap year friend or boyfriend sharing the rooms - she’s a bit horrified as she was struggling with the idea of having 7 flatmates, only to find she has 10…

However, first step has to be calling the uni itself.

Update. The other Uni dont do mid term transfers so that means he stays where he is. He can apply to transfer for next year which he is considering now.
We have discussed ways to make him feel more settled and happy and thats moving forward, but he wants to stay at home and save some money for next year.
Thanks for all those who gave calm advice.

Just seen this thread, and was coming on to say my DN successfully changed very early to her boyfriend’s uni, and was happier.
Following your update, at least your DS knows he tried, and it was the other uni, not you that said no.