Board and Lodge

[Halfordsdad]

My daughter is starting University in Sheffield this month and has decided to live at home with her mum in Rotherham, mum is single and daughter is only child. Mum has always claimed benefits and lives in a 2 bed council house which is financed by the state.

It has come to light, that mum wants £350 a month for what we can only establish is board and lodge. Being at university I believe daughter won’t have Council tax to pay. Daughter has no job and will be relying on student finance from university to pay her mum as well as her other needs.

I’m working 35 hours a week and earning £12.50an hour, I will be supporting daughter with £125 per month but also assist with any other needs as required.
I’ve been annoyed by this whole board and lodge situation because mum asked for first £350 from the trust fund, that was paid after her 18th birthday. Myself. Daughter had paid mum this and it came out in conversation a few weeks ago. Well , I was bewildered that she had asked for the money from the trust fund, I mean, that is suppose to be for her future. I felt guilty her mum had done this and told daughter I would pay it back. I explained the reasoning and what the trust fund was intentionally for, didn’t feel she knew. I got the impression she could spend it on whatever, I guess they can in reality without any common sense. I was beginning to feel like mum was taking advantage of her daughter, and daughter didn’t realise this.

From people I know I understand some children pay board and lodge, but usually the child has an income. My daughter has nothing coming in.
I have explained to daughter that £350 seems excessive and given her another option. That is, live with me, no charge for board and lodge, I will pay for a train season ticket( I live further from Sheffield). That way she still has flexibility with university, visiting friends and mum. But also it eases the financial burden of university that her mum has put on her.

Personally, and I’ve told daughter how I feel, but I think mum is taking advantage. Tell me if I’m wrong.

Do you think the amount of board and lodge is reasonable?

Your daughter needs to apply for student finance and maintenance loan.
Maintenance loan is to pay towards costs.
So if she getting bed and boatd from mum mum can indeed ask for contribution.
If there is a trust fund available to her she can use that too. Don't see the issue.

Dd can decide where to live.

Council house is irrelevant.

Its irrelevant where mum lives/money comes from its what money has mum lost (probably from 31st August) and how much does she need dd to pay to get by/keep a roof over dd head.
If she was in university accommodation she'd be paying for her bed and board so should still do so at home (albeit at a lower amount).
I live on an ill health pension and disability benefits/uc. When dc1 started university/went to work I had no choice but to ask for board and lodgings in return I made all meals and did all laundry and just made dc home life as easy as possible. I charged £200 a month. I had lost more money than that in benefits dc turning 18 but that's what I could manage on.
Dc2 and 3 are looking at going to university in a couple of years if they stay at home I will ask the same (not money I lost but what money I can afford to keep a roof over their head/feed them). In return I will provide food and laundry.
What's stopping dd getting a job, or moving into university accommodation if she's unhappy with the situation?
Dc1 was able to pay me £200and still save up for a house deposit while at home so was able to move out earlier than peers.

Why hasn’t she applied for loans? My DD was originally going to live with her father (but decided instead at last minute to go into halls) and still applied for finance. She’s also looking for work. I thought this was standard.

Surely your DD has applied for the maintenance loan? If she in in England, living with her mum who is on a low income, she could be entitled to nearly £9k a year. That money is to go towards living expenses, so if Mum has lost money when DD turned 18, it is only right that some of that should go towards food and utilities, as well as travel and social life. If she needs more, she can do what most students do and get a part time job and/or work during the holidays.