So I know it’s not so common in the UK but we are in a country where it’s very normal for YP to stay at home for uni. DS is 17 and just started as an undergrad at a local uni in France, studying major applied German / Anglais, minor is business/ economics/ law. His uni is about 40 minutes from home, he’s in most days for 2-6 hours (strikes and other cancellations notwithstanding 🙄).
At home he has his own large room and freedom to come and go as long as he keeps vaguely in touch if he’s out late. Lots of his high school friends are still around, and he’s a sociable type so already making new friends at uni. The campus is pretty run down and far from home so he’s not that keen to spend much time there: student unions. / campus bars etc don’t exist in France really, though there are societies they can join and there is a free gym. There are cheap cantines for food during the day (lunch being the main meal here).
if you’ve got a student living at home, what are your rules?
What money do you give them? Are they expected to get a job? Do you continue to pay for the basics - transport, clothes and shoes, haircuts, food and drinks at home? What about gym membership and sports activities? DS is very sporty, eats tons, very sociable and out a lot but doesn’t drink much, not really fused about expensive clothes etc. we can afford to continue to include him in our household budget, it’s ‘fun’ money that I’m wondering about.
What about rules of behaviour? He’s never had a girl stay over when we are here, and doesn’t seem interested in any serious relationships atm. He’s never come home drunk to our knowledge but he does drink modestly with friends.
He helps out with household chores when asked. His room is pretty messy. I hoover round the heaps and empty his bin, give him new sheets etc.
what about keeping an eye on his studies / attendance? He would be utterly resistant to me checking his homework or timetable. He would lie about a class being cancelled if he didn’t want to go. He’s generally good about doing homework having been well trained at lycée, but he will have to be very self motivated as the classes are large and independent learning is the norm - no tutorials etc. Pastoral care is non existant so no one at uni is likely to pick up any absences, though non submitted essays / assignments would result in penalties.
So tell me how it works for you having a student living at home! I’m going to ask on a local board too.