Gifts starting uni

[MamboNumber2]

DS started at university a couple of years ago and ended up dropping out due to depression. He's done absolutely brilliantly working through it and is doing much better, and decided to apply through clearing to start again at a different uni. He's just received a written offer from one of his top choices- I'm so proud of him.

Bit of an odd question coming up. When he started at his old uni I made a sort of student survival kit as a gift, with things like JustEat vouchers, nurofen, gin in a tin, condoms, his favourite tea and chocolate etc etc. I want to do something similar when he goes this time but is it a bit weird to effectively do the same again? Or is there something slightly different I could do- any ideas? Really want to celebrate his achievement and resilience after a tough few years.

I wondered about a nice pod coffee machine for his room and pod subscription but maybe that sort of thing isn't allowed in halls.

Well done to your son, congratulations. Maybe go easy on the gifts this time to minimise pressure. Let him lead and decide what he needs and let him shop for it, you can go with him if tats what he wants.

And, please do not buy your ds condoms 🙈 that's inappropriate overstepping, and even pressurising. Hands off his sex life please. I do not want to imagine a poor young man popping on a condom, his mama bought (with best intentions no doubt).

Pod coffee machine is not a bad idea though.

I went the novelty route with mine- token gifts rather than expensive things. DS is on a marine course so I got him socks with fish patterns, DD loves gin so I got her a pair of gin glasses. You know your DS better than us, what do you think would make him smile?

please do not buy your ds condoms

Couldn't disagree with this more!!

Maybe a nice rug for his room and a V shaped pillow for when he’s sitting up in bed? We’re getting DS an air fryer this year as he keeps coming home from the pub and using ours this summer.

And sorry, I do agree on the condoms too

Why not just give him cash? At that age I'm sure he'd much rather be able to choose what he spends it on. I wouldn't get him the same things again, this wants to feel like a fresh, new beginning, not a rehash. Well done to him!

How long is this mollycoddling meant to go on for? Perhaps just remind your lads to grab some condoms next time they pop into Boots or are those going in their Christmas stockings until they’re married? I don't remember boys asking their mums for condoms when I was a student. It would have given me the ick.

Better for you to have the "ick" than your son to get a venereal disease, or have an unexpected pregnancy to deal with. Seriously.

Why can't son buy his own condoms? @ClearFoundation

What are these men supposed to do when the condoms bought by mum run out? Write home for a rescue parcel?

That’s not the only choice though a it? If your mammy doesn’t buy your condoms you get venereal disease. My mammy didn’t buy me any condoms and I didn’t get pregnant or a venereal disease because you can get condoms yourself.

I agree with you @MamboNumber2that you shouldn’t do the same thing again. My dd and I are packing for her to go and I’ve to,d her to pack some first aid stuff and she’s taking things from her room, like plants, her mirror etc to make it more homely. I’m not buying her a present specifically but I’ve paid for new bedding and some kitchen stuff.

My late boomer dad would giggle so much at this. He'd be of the opinion that if a man can't buy his own condoms, he's not old enough to have sex. If he needs his mum to manage his condoms, perhaps he needs her to arrange his dates too? It's fine to disagree but imho we don't do our sons any favours by mollycoddling them. Why not have conversations from when they're young teens that being responsible around relationships and sex is important and condoms are part of that?