What to take when starting university?

[Fretfulagain]

I thought this would have been asked many times before but my search terms must be wonky as I can't find a thread.

DD starts university in September and is a long way from home. She will be in Uni accom for the first year - it's a self catering flat for five, with en suite shower rooms and a shared kitchen.

The Uni has given quite a brief list of essentials but I thought the wisdom of MNetters who have gone before me might help me get it right. What do the official lists miss? What is on there but never used? Do we need more/less of anything which we might not anticipate? Anything in particular that your DC thanked you for - or asked for when they came home after the first term?

Any other tips?

All advice welcome 😀Thank you!

Big box of brownies as an ice breaker with new flat mates. Baking equipment to keep making brownies as you are now the official Provider of Brownies.

Hmm I was going to suggest MDMA but I don't think that's what you meant 🤣

Yeh ds’s is a lot smaller than that! Good for batch for 1 or actually feeding about 3

Indeed. At my son's Uni where most first year students live on campus, they bring in shipping containers at the end of the academic year for students moving out to put the stuff they didn't want to take home, which was sold by the Student Union to the next batch of students at Freshers Week. Loads of stuff in them, crockery & cutlery, bedding, clothes, ironing boards, laundry baskets, pots & pans, and even unopened packets of food, tinned food, etc etc. Obviously lots of students not wanting to take loads of stuff home with him, and happy to buy new for the second year (living off campus) or deciding they had too much to take home (or put into storage) to bring again for year 2. DS said that during Freshers Week you can literally buy anything you may want for your flat/kitchen as there are numerous stalls all around the central courtyard selling it all!

Oooh @MrsAvocet i got three Pyrex lidded dishes from Morrisons for free! I am rather excited about them lol

Honestly less is more. DD1 was in a far distant uni, and we drove up (fortunately able to stay with Grandparents) and went to Ikea before dropping her off. Ikea was full of parents doing likewise. I have a fond memory of observing an American mother debating (with herself) long and hard over the suitability of a small or a large fold out clothes airer - her son with his back to front baseball cap couldn't have been less interested. I doubt he even knew what a clothes airer was and I'd lay a sizeable bet it was still in the packaging by the end of term 1 and lost by the end of term 3.

Anyway what I did do for both DDs was put together a supply of emergency/first aid items. All sorts of cough and cold remedies, tissues etc as they ALL get fresher's flu, first aid items like plasters and TCP, hang over cures like cartons of high quality long life fruit/vegetable juice and some plain biscuits like digestives.
Homesickness treats like chocolate, fluffy socks and a cuddly toy.
I also put in some drink spike test kits -

https://www.drinksafe.uk/collections/testing-strips?srsltid=AfmBOoqJd6607pHxvfRNtpe6Z_-fD51uLbFgTYe1Xw9L6JLY1b4KEENe

and condoms. Mainly because I thought the shock value would provide a bonding moment of "What is my Mum like????" with her new friends and also as a conversation point for raising awareness.

They both were very appreciative of the goody supply that I had boxed up and casually slipped under the bed as we were leaving, and I'm pretty sure their friends were also appreciative too. It's good to know someone down the corridor can be relied upon for an emergency supply of paracetamol or whatever.

The other thing I was able to do for DD1 was put credit on the uni catering system, I've forgotten how it worked now but every so often I would put a bit of money in and it meant she could get a nice lunch at one of the outlets on site or whatever. It was a bit of a lifeline when learning to budget and plan meals for the first time that she appreciated.

Non perishable basics like pasta, spices etc. Some student accom only has a Tesco Express sized shop in walking distance so they end up paying over the odds so get it at your normal big supermarket in advance. Also everyone moving in will be buying basics on day 1 so stuff will sell out, bring it with you.

Be great if more Universities had people to organise this.

It's criminal to see what gets dumped at the end of the year in the student area of our City.

Suggest they set up loyalty cards for all local supermarkets totals advantage of discounts. Also consider online delivery accounts. The delivery cost can be shared and will be cheaper than getting a return bus ticket. Also cheap to share Ubers to/from the likes of Aldi/Lidl.

IME printers and even stationery are fairly redundant as everything is done online. Has anyone mentioned decent laptop yet?

My advice is that Ikea is not essential. Dd1 told me it was. If you go to the Southampton one, you can see if my will to live is still hanging about because I lost it somewhere before the first corner.
And we hardly bought anything, certainly nothing we couldn't get for same price elsewhere.

Firstly, you need to find out what they want.
Then remove the really expensive "essentials" that aren't essential, but they're trying to slip under the guise of "desperately needed" while you're buying other things in the hope you will be both gullible and not too observant.

You'll be left with things like bedding, crockery/cutlery (getting for 2 is fine - the standard thing if they have lots of friends round is they ask them to bring that). Fairy lights are apparently an essential, although quite a cheap one, so you can let that go. I went for battery ones as less likely to burn the place down.
On the subject of burning the place down, you'll probably find some things not allowed (candles is the obvious one, but things like rice cookers/slow cookers even kettles in some places aren't allowed)
However a multi-socket is a good idea because unless the room was built recently it may well be restricted to one light for a bedside light and one under the desk. They may have restrictions to no of sockets allowed from any one multi-socket (dd's was 5, I think)
Pins for the noticeboard is also something that is cheap and keeps them happy.

Don't forget they may need some things for study too.

And buy them an advent calendar before they go. It saves feeling guilty and paying more for postage than the calendar is worth. I may or may not speak from experience there.
If they do send Christmas cards (or think they might) a packet or two isn't a bad idea.

I did a first aid kit for my dramatic one, so she didn't have an excuse to phone up at 2am needing a plaster. She did phone up at 3:30am to tell me she'd been sick once though...
Plasters, pain killers, elastic bandage, cream. I didn't put burn gel in, which was a pity because that was the one first aid thing she needed.

I also provided her with enough sanitary products to see through the first term at any rate.

My girls took a bug catcher.

And don't forget when they go in that sunny day in September, that they'll be there until the cold days in December. It might even snow. So make sure they have gloves etc.

Wow seems like they will have a lot to take on the coach with them. Giggling about ironing boards and clothes racks - we don't have those at home. The uni DS goes to has a collection of left behind stuff that people can take from, and add to. Apparently clothes racks are abundant and rarely taken home (don't fit in the coach I guess). Local charity shops are also a good bet for kitchen stuff, although a sharp kitchen knife and a chopping board you can pour boiling water onto to sterilise aren't a bad idea.

The size of rooms can really vary so I'd go light - DS1 had no choice of the room he got and it was about half the size of his friends at other campuses. All the kitchen stuff and food needs to fit on one shelf in the kitchen.....

Always surprised at how few students do their research about what they want to take, it's a lot of 'we' or 'I'.
I've got 2 kids at uni and enjoyed doing the uni shop (Ikea included!) with them absolutely, but really left it up to them about what they wanted to take and how they wanted to manage and organise themselves.

I have a fond memory of observing an American mother debating (with herself) long and hard over the suitability of a small or a large fold out clothes airer - her son with his back to front baseball cap couldn't have been less interested. I doubt he even knew what a clothes airer was and I'd lay a sizeable bet it was still in the packaging by the end of term 1 and lost by the end of term 3.
Though of course it's possible that after a few weeks of forking out for over priced tumble drying and a couple of accidentally shrunken jumpers he might have decided that his Mum did have a point? Who knows.

DS will be taking old stuff of mine! Then I don't care if it gets lost or broken. And no one is likely to have the same. I'm sure they'll quickly work out what they need once there.

@ramonaquimby it is about them choosing, researching and buying the stuff, but being able to give advice too. You don't want your dc to be the one who turns up with a suitcase full of lovely things they wanted to take, but not the practical things they really needed - and getting stressed in the first weeks trying to access (eg) washing powder when they've just spilt something over their bed in the early hours of the morning.

I found my oldest did a lot of research herself, but didn't think of some of the staples we had around, that she used sometimes but didn't feature on her radar for something she realised how much she used it. Pain killers it was for her. She didn't realise how much she needed them until she woke on the second night with period pain. When I'd handed her a packet she didn't think she'd need them...

If we'd have left it to our son to pack, he'd have just packed a rucksack with his laptop, phone, ipad, a couple of t shirts, a couple of pairs of shorts, and some spare underwear/socks with a sleeping bag! He just wasn't remotely interested! He didn't give any thought at all to things like crockery & cutlery, cleaning and medicinal supplies, towels, stationery, etc. It's not that he expected them to be provided - he knew it wasn't a hotel. He just planned to buy what he needed when he realised what he needed! So laid back, it was unreal. I think he thought it was a "long" camping trip as he'd been accustomed to going camping with friends, having sleep overs, etc, so just thought he needed a rucksack of essentials.

Needless to say, we ended up taking a big estate car full of stuff (plus a roof box full!). Also, needless to say, we brought over half of it back unused at the end of the first year. Perhaps he was right after all?? Took one hell of a lot less for year 2, basically kept all the stuff he'd not used back at home, and he never missed any of it. Some of the stuff is still in our loft, unopened, as not only did he not want it for year 3, he hasn't wanted it now he's left home and moved to a new city for work with his own (much bigger) flat that still barely has anything in it, and certainly barely any cleaning supplies, kitchen utensils, etc.

I dunno. I think if kids want to take a rucksack of stuff, let them do that, or take their nice things. It's all a big learning curve.

Sliders, a washing up wand thing that you fill up with washing up liquid, more than one tea towel & instructions to change and wash them very often. I still have nightmares about the tea towels I encountered when picking ds up after first year 🤢

Most parents the kids off in the car though. Some students have their own cars.

I realise that many students will not want an ironing board, and I wasn’t suggesting it as a rec for everyone! DD, like me, prefers her clothes to be ironed, but if you don’t use one at home I imagine your DC won’t need one when away either. All good. A clothes airer is a good idea tho as dryers are expensive and in any case some clothes can’t go in them.

I agree with the pp about it being a good idea to sell on leftover stuff – I had no idea it was an issue but it sounds a bit like all the tents left at the end of Leeds festival.

Definatly a thick mattress topper because uni mattresses are hard and often thin, so not very comfortable. A storage container that will slide under the bed to store spare bedding, towel and tea towels in. A second to store tinned food and dried food and herbs and spices. A large skillet type pan with lid for all in one type dishes, 1 medium saucepan. Wooden spoons, silicon spoons and spatulas in bright colours plus a plastic colander. 2 large plates, 2 small plates, 2 pasta bowls, 2 cereal bowls and 2 knives, forks, large and small spoons and 2 mugs. Non stick cooking utensils. A sharp knife, a good tin opener, bench scraper to pick up chopped veg and a good chopping board plus a glass measuring jug and fruit bowl. I bought ds a plastic onion, pepper and tomato to sit in fridge for when you only use
half so to store other half in fridge. DS cooks so a garlic crusher and cheese grater, brush and sponge on stick for washing up, airtight storage containers for cereal, pasta and rice. A tray for carrying dirty dishes back to kitchen. You can buy the vertical storage things with pockets that hang from doorframe and are good for storing things like sun cream, sun glasses, hair bobbles/cap, nail cutters, cotton buds etc. You can buy hanging vertical storage that go on coat hangers that can hold stuff in wardrobe if have one. Sliders or crocs, warm bed socks in case it's cold, dressing gown. Ds is taking a small air fryer because it says you can and he cooks using one. Greaseproof liners for said air fryer. DS's uni have said no kettle or no toaster as there will be a communal one provided. No electric blankets allowed. Large fleece throw to cuddle up under if cold. Find out how much space DC will get in shared fridge/freezer. It's often half a shelf each so empty chinese containers that store on top of one another.

Some laundry services don't allow these. My yp took a few packs and brought them back unused because they weren't allowed in the washing machines

Things that my yp found useful (apart from mattress toppers, kitchen stuff etc) was a box of medicines such as painkillers, cold and flu treatments, vitamins (mainly to stop them getting scurvy) and first aid kit. Also as door stopper so they could keep their door open to chat to flatmates, spare blankets, a huge pillow to lean on whilst watching TV and under bed storage boxes. Also a small tool kit, my yp needed a small screwdriver to put batteries into the fairy lights. Also towels and a bath mat that were quick dry ( we got ours from marks)

The best thing they bought was an iPad as it's meant taking notes etc has been so easy. They did have a laptop but left it behind after Christmas as they preferred to use the uni computers for typing essays. My suggestions of pens, folders and pads of paper was met with derision as I'm old and noone takes notes on paper anymore (my gen x heart broken, I loved taking notes)

Best buy was a cushion shaped liked the dog from dogsy - she cuddled it when she was missing him.

Less than you think.

No kettle or toaster as they will be in the communal kitchen and most universities do not allow such items in bedrooms.
Only one set of bedding for DS as the university had free tumble dryers (paid for washing machines) as they didn't want clothes or bedding being dried in bedrooms leading to damp.

Agree with sliders!