How did you feel seeing your DC graduate?

[Hhkjhhg]

I felt an immense sent of pride obviously.

But my DM went to my eldest's master's graduation and was beaming of pride and was emotional seeing the first grandchild to get a master's degree.

I was far happier when DDs got jobs in the careers they wanted. I don’t quite get the pride thing. They got the degree. Not the parents. It feels somewhat self congratulatory for not having the 62% of teens that don’t get a degree.

I’m not a crier normally but I was taken aback by the strength of the emotion I felt on seeing my oldest cross the stage to get her degree. There was this tall, beautiful, happy and confident young woman, with a great job lined up, receiving a degree for which she had worked so hard. She’d done it herself but her father and I had played our part as she was growing up. I was a little more prepared when her sister graduated a couple of years later but the emotion still hit like a sledgehammer.
It’s their turn this year as I have my masters graduation and I’m thrilled that they are coming to the ceremony!

I'm proud of all of DD's achievements, even when she was the last of her class to learn to swim.

I will be proud when she completes her masters. I will be proud when she starts a career path based on her masters.

I don't differentiate between achievements.

@RampantIvy we will have to differ then. I don’t get quite so wrapped up in what they do or don’t do in terms of being proud. I’m not a huge fan of reflected glory.

I loved attending my DD's graduation ceremony. I sat on one side of theatre and exh sat on the other side. He took her to lunch and I took her food shopping later in afternoon and then later that evening to dinner.

It's evident that some see a degree as a means to an end whereas others value the achievement itself. My DC overcame some huge challenges during their degrees. When the Chancellor addressed the graduates and told them to go out and make a difference, it was a fitting end to their first degrees.

I have no words.

It was a right of passage and we were part of it. They were a very small part of the process and their time on stage was fleeting.

DD graduated in Covid and we watched it live streamed from a restaurant. Her college is having a lunch for graduands and one parent next month to make up for it. That will be nice.

They are lovely occasions but the gloss is a little lost on me because I sit on that stage and occasionally carry the mace at least six times a year. I regard graduation as an uncomfortable event -sitting nicely in the most uncomfortable chair for a very long time. Smiling and clapping until my hands hurt.

Absolutely agree, I found the whole thing really unnerving and uncomfortable tbh, I couldn’t understand the parents’ behaviour, lots of weeping and shouting out in the ceremony. Had a nice time afterwards going for a meal but it was all really low key.

Reflected glory? What on earth are you talking about ... I was so proud for them and their achievements

God no, I didn't cry. I'm not an outwardly emotional person. I didn't witness any crying at DD's graduation. The only whooping and shouting came from the students supporting their friends.

I don't think being proud of your children's achievements is reflected glory at all. What a weird way of thinking.

I was proud of my DD for getting her degree but the actual ceremony didn't mean much to me. I went because she wanted me to and smiled and clapped at the right times but I didn't feel particularly excited or emotional.
I only went to my graduation because my parents wanted to go but it was really very, very boring. I didn't tell anyone that there was a ceremony for my second degree to ensure I wasn't leaned on to do it again. I think my DS who should graduate this year is very likely to feel much the same about his and that's fine by me. Getting the degree is the achievement and I will be proud of him for that. We'll go out somewhere nice for a meal to celebrate his results but seeing him walk over a stage wearing a silly hat isn't important to me and I certainly won't apply any pressure on him to attend if he doesn't want to.

@Gardenhaurs Why are you proud? I get that dc belong to you initially but I felt my DC floated off and became adults in their own right. They decided what they wanted. I didn’t enter them for a competition. I’m not sure getting a degree is winning anything either. Maybe parents just invest too much in dc success. I’m pleased mine are happy but none of our friends talk about their dc as people are here and gush how proud they are. Maybe it’s a social media thing? The dictionary definition of proud is interesting.

I was just proud at how hard they worked and defied the odds. I've got a massive back story that I won't go into as would be very outing but fair to say no one expected much of them due to various complications at birth.

I never felt they belonged to me tbh and a long way to go still but yes I felt extremely emotional at their graduation day (I did not cry, whoop or indeed do anything bar clap btw!) no one else would have suspected how I felt. They're also the first DC to go to university in our family which I do wonder may make a massive difference? I didn't make it pass O levels so the whole thing is like Narnia to me, mysterious and incredible . Hope that doesn't sound too daft x

Honestly, what a load of ceremonial pomp in a massive hall with the ridiculous whooping and cheering from groups of 10 guests to each graduate who made it into a bloody popularity contest - with completing factions, each aiming to make the most noise for their precious graduate. The same huddles were making a racket in the reception afterwards. Everything was monetised: the gown and mortar hire I acccept, but the the expensive - £100+ photographs, the photo framing, the group pictures, a video of you walking on and off stage and the high cost of guest tickets. Takes the edge off it

I graduated this year, after my eldest 2 DCs and I only did it to get a selfie in my graduation gown! We had to get ready in the ladies toilet, the venue hire did not allow graduates anywhere to get organised.

I was proud of my DCs and myself but we wouldn't bother with the ceremony again if we do masters

@TizerorFizz I think you are the outlier here. You make it sound like it is a moral failing to be proud of your DC. Maybe yours didn't face the challenges that other posters DC have had. DD has had health challenges all of her life, and the fact that she is succeeding in life in spite of them is something to be proud of and a massive achievement for her. I also don't feel that DD belongs to me. What a weird way to think.

Did your parents never tell you they were proud of you? Did they never celebrate any of your successes? Mine did. I also tell DD I am proud of her.

I don't tell my friends that I am proud of DD because that is a rather wanky thing to do, but I'll say it on here.

Please don't rain on other people's parades.

@SwornToSilence where on earth was the expensive ceremony you attended? DD's ceremony was free to guests and her photos weren't as expensive either. No videos and no photo framing either. Oh, and guests were limited to 2 per student.

I admit to finding degree ceremonies very boring though. I have sat through 4 now.

Very, very proud. She was in college online more than in person due to COVID lockdowns. She was quite ill with an overactive thyroid and had her thyroid removed in January 2020 so had major surgery. She has dyslexia so had to work very hard. And in her final semester she wanted to leave college altogether! Even though her grades and placements were all excellent. She ended up with a 1:1 honours degree and was asked if she wanted to come back and do her masters! Oh and when she started her Leaving Certificate I had major emergency surgery secondary to warfarin therapy and was in hospital for nearly a week and had a very slow recovery and was subsequently diagnosed with debilitating endocrine disease so she was looking after her 13 year old sister as I’m a single parent.

Acknowledging your child’s achievements and telling them/ letting them see that you are proud of them is hugely important for the development of their self worth and self esteem.
Intetestingly, it was a key point played out in the recent Netflix drama Adolescence - the young boy didn’t feel he had ever made his dad feel proud of him, and felt a failure as a result.

I felt massively proud at both my DSs graduations, but at DS2’s particularly as he had overcome many hurdles to get there (is ND with a learning disability).

I find it odd how we acknowledge that young people who don’t have a supportive family environment are under-privileged, yet when parents show interest and involvement in their child’s education they are often accused of being ‘over invested’!

We’re a close family unit and we share and celebrate all our family members’ successes.

Totally agree, the Adolescence points struck me too

Also, our lives aren't enmeshed at all. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your DC, and everything wrong if you can't celebrate their successes. We also celebrate our friends achievements and successes if they invite us to. Why wouldn't you?

My DS is due to graduate next month but said he isn’t going to the ceremony. I feel really sad about this and cheated which I shouldn’t as it his choice to make. Seeing everyone else’s children graduating and the lovely pictures they have upsets me as we will never have those memories.

I'm sorry to hear that. Has he said why? I personally am confused why people just want to skip the graduation ceremony especially when it means a lot to their family and the family are willing to take up the costs.

Like I don't get why people just decide to forgo the ceremony.

DD hated her graduation. Having a room full of people watching her is her worst nightmare. She says she may not bother when she completes her masters.

Shortly before DD’s graduation we also went with her to court when she gave evidence against the man who had controlled and hit her for the previous 2 years. He got a custodial sentence. She got her 1st. I hope nobody ever says in my hearing that I have no right to be proud of her….

I was beaming with pride but not emotional. Pleased for him really. I enjoyed meeting his mates and seeing what a clever young man he’d turned into. We went out with all of them afterwards and partied into the early hours. I had such a fun and happy day. One of the highlights of my life.