Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Son is spiralling and thinking he won’t get his dissertation done in time

32 replies

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 19:47

Really don’t know what to do. He says he’ll fail if that’s the case. I know in the scheme of things it’s not the end of the world but could really do with some advice.

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 24/02/2025 19:49

What is his deadline? Has he been working steadily throughout his course? How have his marks been in other modules? Is he usually someone who does things at the last minute or is he a planner?

saphirestones · 24/02/2025 19:50

When you say spiralling are you implying metal health issues which are outside of anything to do with the current uno situation?

thedevilsavocado · 24/02/2025 19:50

Hello, I work at a university and it is highly unlikely that he will fail immediately. He needs to talk to his tutor and student services about his options e.g. extension; mitigating circumstances; leave of absence. Tell him to do it sooner rather than later and to follow advice carefully!

frockandcrocs · 24/02/2025 19:53

thedevilsavocado · 24/02/2025 19:50

Hello, I work at a university and it is highly unlikely that he will fail immediately. He needs to talk to his tutor and student services about his options e.g. extension; mitigating circumstances; leave of absence. Tell him to do it sooner rather than later and to follow advice carefully!

Edited

This, absolutely. The sooner her contacts his tutor/supervisor and gets advice, the better.

iguanasfordays · 24/02/2025 19:54

It should be a fairly simple process for him to get an extension and they come in various lengths which can be extended. He needs to have a look on the university's website for the official procedure and schedule a meeting with his personal supervisor at uni asap. He needs to tell them about his mental health (which I am assuming is suffering) and also any life events that have meant he's struggled to work on his dissertation over the last couple of months e.g. any health issues, relationship breakdowns etc.

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 19:56

He is ND ( ASC and ADHD)and has had extenuating circumstances for retakes this summer just gone which he did well in as suffering with chronic ocd and had a crisis episode just before end of year exams. It’s a Mech Engineering degree so quite intense, he’s a bright boy and does ok generally in exams but isn’t great on long projects with organisation. He’s having therapy. It takes a lot for him to reach out to me and he has. He has done work on the literature review and simulation but is struggling with the main document .

OP posts:
MastieMum · 24/02/2025 20:00

I second the advice about speaking to his tutor asap. Also, universities have a department (often based in the library) whose purpose is to support students with tasks like writing dissertations. Google the name of the university and academic skills support. They can help him to make a realistic plan for getting the dissertation written and help him with and aspects of the writing or research that he's finding difficult. They usually have a system for booking individual appointments.

Proudofitbabe · 24/02/2025 20:03

Does he have any kind of support plan in place, so he can apply for longer extensions as standard (rather than as an extenuating circumstance)? He should qualify for this based on what you've said.
As others have said there will be processes but an important thing will be to flag that he's struggling before the deadline. Be sure to contact wellbeing services and the personal tutor so there's a record that he sought help.

Cloudberry24 · 24/02/2025 20:09

He should have a Reasonable Adjustments Plan (RAP) if he’s declared his disabilities. Does he have Disabled Students’ Allowance?

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:10

Ok this is all really great advice.

OP posts:
Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:10

Cloudberry24 · 24/02/2025 20:09

He should have a Reasonable Adjustments Plan (RAP) if he’s declared his disabilities. Does he have Disabled Students’ Allowance?

No he doesn’t have the allowance.

OP posts:
Cloudberry24 · 24/02/2025 20:13

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:10

No he doesn’t have the allowance.

The university might fund 8-10 hours of specialist support. It’s worth asking the disability support team.

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:14

Ok .
Will he really lose his whole degree if he doesn’t get it done? He’s got exams too and is overwhelmed as to which he should give priority to.

OP posts:
MastieMum · 24/02/2025 20:22

The key thing is that he needs to discuss the situation as soon as possible with the university. Once he knows what's possible re the dissertation then he can prioritise the different pieces of work. My appointments are full of students who don't think they'll get their dissertation done at the moment - the feeling of being overwhelmed makes it difficult to see a way forward but often there is less work left to do than they think. This is not to minimise your son's situation, but he may find it helpful to know that students across the nation are having similar struggles right now!

MollyButton · 24/02/2025 20:28

He has done amazingly well to get this far without support. But he now needs to speak to his tutors and the support systems. He could have had someone help him with the organisation of long pieces of coursework.
This is not an irredeemable situation but he does need to seek help.
Universities do not want to fail students.

LIZS · 24/02/2025 20:34

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:14

Ok .
Will he really lose his whole degree if he doesn’t get it done? He’s got exams too and is overwhelmed as to which he should give priority to.

It depends on the level he has achieved to date. If he has successfully completed 2/3 years he may qualify for an interim level qualification. He needs to reach out to his dissertation supervisor in first instance and the Disability support team. It is quite late to put any adjustments and resources in place but they may be able to offer some support, negotiate with academic staff for extended deadlines and so on.

Jennifershuffles · 24/02/2025 20:35

thedevilsavocado · 24/02/2025 19:50

Hello, I work at a university and it is highly unlikely that he will fail immediately. He needs to talk to his tutor and student services about his options e.g. extension; mitigating circumstances; leave of absence. Tell him to do it sooner rather than later and to follow advice carefully!

Edited

This

unourrite · 24/02/2025 21:07

Most important not to panic at this stage - he's overwhelmed and needs help navigating the situation. Lots of good advice from PP, sooner rather than later, taking things one step at a time, appointments with his personal tutor, his dissertation supervisor (if different) and definitely with the disability support team, then if he can manage, take a look at the dissertation support offered more generally - might be the library or other academic support service.

Ask them to explain his options, and the supports which are available to him.
With exams as well he needs to keep up work in the taught courses so include options for covering those (mitigating circumstances etc) as well when discussing with personal tutor and disability support.

They will be aware of his background because of the circumstances over summer so should provide specific advice for his situation. If he can get some information in writing or take notes from the meetings you can talk them through with him.

Itsabr33ze · 25/02/2025 07:32

Thankyou everybody so much for all this advice,I’m so far away so it’s really difficult to know how to help him. Trying to stop him catastrophising so he can focus without piling additional stress on. It’s not easy as he thinks he is convinced he is going to end up with a pile of debt and no future.I’m trying to keep a calm level head for both of us. Have listed all these recommendations and we sent off his extension request EC form last night. He already has a letter from his therapist so hoping it will help. Have told him to put one step in front of the other without panicking. He’s going through his plan today and meeting his dissertation tutor tomorrow. It’s difficult as being ND makes reaching out and being systematically proactive difficult when you’re struggling and panicking.

OP posts:
LittleBigHead · 25/02/2025 21:33

Itsabr33ze · 24/02/2025 20:14

Ok .
Will he really lose his whole degree if he doesn’t get it done? He’s got exams too and is overwhelmed as to which he should give priority to.

No he won’t. But he can’t graduate without his dissertation. So he needs to do both.

If he’s been working steadily he should be ok, but it sounds as though the regular long- term planning is a challenge for him. He needs to talk to his dissertation supervisor and also think about “chunking” the work - divide it up into doable chunks. And schedule those chunks. Give himself deadlines.

Also he should learn about drafting and that first drafts are usually rubbish. But they can be edited and improved!

butterflymum · 25/02/2025 23:32

Is it MEng level or BEng level?

Hollyjollywafflecone · 25/02/2025 23:47

Disability services often offer a person to help you manage your time if you are ND. They’ll help you plan your workload and set mini deadlines. Theres also lots of ‘shut up and write’ type sessions and other support to actually get things done. It’s only feb still, he’s got lots of time yet.

Itsabr33ze · 26/02/2025 06:17

butterflymum · 25/02/2025 23:32

Is it MEng level or BEng level?

It was Beng and he was switching to Meng next year but now just getting the Beng is all we care about.

OP posts:
Itsabr33ze · 26/02/2025 06:34

Thankyou, I’ve sent him all this advice.

OP posts:
PicturePlace · 26/02/2025 06:36

He will be fine. These are normal feelings that every student has.