Learning break- can anyone advise

[Lindz44]

DD is at her first year at uni and has been struggling with anxiety. It’s getting worse not better. She’s struggling to get to lectures and seminars and I am at a loss. They have been helpful but she still struggling.
she has started CBT but is only a week in and says she wants to start medication too which I am wary of.
she had a meeting with her tutor today who was said that if things haven’t got better they will advise a learning break in three weeks. She is sobbing over the phone but demanding I can’t get involved and I have no idea what this means? She desperately wants to get better and now had three weeks to do so.
do any uni people know what this is and what it means?

A learning break could mean different things to different people, but it sounds possible the tutor is recommending an interruption in studies.

I like this wording, as it emphasises the temporary nature of the recommendation, if it is made. If this comes to pass it will be because experienced academics can see that your DD isn’t in the right place to succeed this term, yet they believe in her potential. They want her to get well and then rejoin her studies.

Generally this is the best plan and too many students make the mistake of persisting in the attempt to study whilst ill until they are in a very bad way, academically speaking. I commend the tutor.

Your DD is also correct that this is something she should manage for herself if she can. (Of course you should be available and supportive if she cannot). You generally have no legal access to information her university or its staff hold about her, though a true emergency is different.

Why are you wary about medication? There is a lot of evidence now that medicating the young can reset their brains and stop mental illness in its tracks. Are you concerned about side effects, or about the significance of having a DD on MH medication, which points up that she has a real MH problem? Because it sounds like she does, and she needs you.

The side effects are surely for DD to assess without prejudice.

I know it is difficult right now, but it is far from hopeless. DD can regain her health. This suggestion tells me her School wants the best for her. I have seen it work many times.

Best wishes to DD.

My DDs uni have a section on their website about pausing studies - called intermission in her case. My DD paused (for non medical reason) and found it useful in terms if timings, forms, support etc. Perhaps you could gen up on this.

Is she so upset because she wants to continue without a break?

Hi again, OP -

I apologise for sounding a bit blunt above.

I want to emphasise that, sadly, MH problems are very common amongst the UG population right now. When it is your own DC of course it can be desperately worrying. But you haven’t described anything unusual. If DD’s Personal Tutor is at all experienced they too are quite familiar with this. Concerned, of course. But we know there is a way back, and once you regain your health the rest falls into place. The hardest thing is convincing students, and sometimes parents, that health comes first.

Again, best wishes

Thank you both! To answer- I have taken medication for years and I am aware the first few weeks of taking them can be tricky. I work in inpatient mental health and I see many people in crisis so both options, both medicating and not worry me. But thank you @poetryandwine you have made me rethink. @PearlStork I think she’s worried she’ll get into trouble with her dad and he’ll be annoyed with her for what she perceives as being ‘kicked out’ and also she doesn’t want to come back even if it possibly is in her best interest.

Pausing so common at DDs uni. I remember reading some stats showing those who pause and return (think they even included those who switched courses) generally had good outcomes . DD did a course (academic writing) for returners and it was busy. I'd caution against soldiering on unless she feels very secure academically. School friend did this and managed to pass the year but struggled massively the next year when results counted.

My DD is applying for grad jobs this year and only one had queried the extra year she has taken (and even then it seemed more to check she hadn't been in jail etc than being bothered about health issues).

Well you have good reason for your perspective, OP.

I am sorry your DD may be worried about upsetting or disappointing her father. Sadly students worry more about their fathers than their mothers in this regard, IME. He needs to know that if a break is recommended, her School believes it is the best path to a successful outcome.

Also FYI Student Finance will make a loan for the length of the original degree plus a year. So DD has a do over.

IME the experience of @PearlStork ‘s DD is typical. Employers see this all the time. The recovery and subsequent success are what matter.

Her sister explained it to me later and thank you both I think I understand more.
Her therapist is keen she continues trying as that’s what they are working toward rather than taking a term off and she said that is what she wants too.
I don’t mind. I just want her to be happy and I honestly don’t care if she went to uni or not.

Thank you both again thoigh for taking time to reply.

Can your DD explain where the therapist is coming from?

Bluntly, the therapist may not be thinking about DD’s academic record.

Even if Y1 does not officially count towards degree classification it can matter in lots of ways

I think the therapist said that giving her only three weeks to turn her attendance around isn’t fair. She’s been doing the classes online it’s just the in person ones she hadn’t.
so her work is all submitted she just hadn’t been to the in person classes.
do you think that’s bad then?
I am still confused I think, I want to try and understand but her explanation really confused me.

If she's been attending online, and submitting assignments (has she definitely been doing this - it makes a difference?), I can't see any advantage to taking a break.

Her tutor probably isn't fully aware of the range of options. She could apply to temporarily study remotely - this is allowable for a term under student loan regs (normally in person attendance is mandatory for the maintenance loan). Can she get in touch with her student union. They're often well placed to outline options.

If she isn't coping at the moment though, there is nothing at all wrong with taking a break - it's often the most sensible route to ensure future success.

Ouch.

I don’t know what the consequences for that would be. It is all about the particular policies of the University and the School.

The fact that DD is managing to submit her work speaks very well of her, yet it is valid to ask whether she is able to show her best stuff under present conditions. If not, it is a question of degree. Proceeding at pace towards a lower degree classification than she is capable of is not in her best interests.

Does DD have good rapport with her Personal Tutor? If so she could tell the PT about the therapy (this is utterly routine) and about the concerns regarding the timeline.

Would the therapist put this in writing? That would carry more weight. Be aware there may be a deadline for interrupting, however.

Yes she’s been attending online and doing the assignments.

I lke @titchy ‘s thoughts!

@poetryandwine tge therapist has told her she’s happy to email and explain the process. She is right by the uni and deals with lots of students so seems to know the process,
the uni offered cbt but it was eight week wait so we decided to pay to start immediately.
She has been speaking to the student support so is going to email them tomorrow. She’s desperate to push through.

I honestly agree with the break idea but I think it would make her mental health worse, she just needs to explain I guess.

@titchy can I ask what you mean about a deadline for interrupting,

What has her attendance been like at seminars and tutorials over the year? Lecture attendance optional for my DD but seminars compulsory and attendance monitored. If you can't make it you are expected to let them know and give a reason. Depending on the reason they mark you exempt (eg job interview or health) or absent. Some people with particular conditions have agreed exemptions for a period. If you just don't show and don't tell them they will chase you but it won't be immediate (particularly if you've handed in work to a good standard). Sounds as if her absence has flagged up. Has she definitely been given a 3 week deadline to improve attendance in person or pause or are they just saying access help (which she is doing) and we will reevaluate in 3 weeks. If therapist thinks best for her to continue then they can probably get her an health exemption from attendance.

Any concerns about her work? My DC wouldn't have done the same amount of reading/thought if they didn't attend in person (although not true of my DDs ND flatmate who makes 'guest" appearances to seminars but rarely gets anything less than a 1st in essays)

The deadline question was mine, OP. This could be different from what I am familiar with and unis have deadlines for all kinds of things.

DD should just check on that. Her Student Support Office can tell her and it will be in the Student Handbook or wherever deadlines are listed. I am prob being cautious.

Gentle warning: the opinion of her theraist is one thing. Her ‘desperation’ to push through is quite another and of concern to me.

@PearlStork ’s questions above are excellent.

@PearlStork she had reached out to them to say she was struggling to get to seminars. The lectures she was fine with until Christmas when it all unravelled a bit. She said she is getting work in ( obv that’s what she tells me ) from what she said the lecturer gave her some options then another person with her said if it doesn’t increase in three weeks you’ll need to take a learning break.
obviously I am only getting what she tells me,
I feel awful as I am such an anxious mess I feel like I’ve rubbed it off in her.

She is emailing student support today as she feels that if she has to take a learning break she’ll feel worse,

It’s so hard not being involved as if I was I feel I could find out what’s going on but I’m only hearing her version of events.

One of our DC is at university and very concerned about the MH struggles that they see in the student population. Many of their cohort have needed to take a break by going home for a while or deferring for a year. Our DC thinks that the university environment is incredibly competitive in myriad ways and that many students arrive ill equipped to analyse (and therefore put distance between them and others) the status symbols that govern the student population.

I would also add that student welfare services/therapists are not always well equipped to analyse the competitive environment, partly because universities themselves are not terribly honest about the realities. Universities have become so preoccupied with bums on seats in order to meet financial objectives that they recruit students who are not properly equipped for the realities they encounter.