Is it becoming more common to stay closer to home for uni?

[ClementinePancakes]

DS is year 12 and just starting to research some uni courses. He particularly likes (on paper) Southampton and Swansea, so we have started planning to visit in the summer. They are both pretty far from us, about 6 hours at least.
Everyone we have told this to has reacted with horror, because they are so far away.

I accept if he does end up at one of them, the drive at the beginning and end of term will probably be a two day undertaking with overnight stay, yes, a bit of a pain but not that horrifying.

Both my brother and sister were at uni a similar distance away, they didn’t really come home during term time (but then I didn’t either and I was nearer home - I didn’t really know anyone who went home at weekends). Is this the difference? Are students more likely to come home at weekends than they were 30 years ago? I suppose it could be for weekend jobs etc. Or are there other reasons if there is a trend to stay closer -are there cultural differences across the UK?
I get staying at home and commuting for cost reasons, but I’m talking more about moving away, but not far.

No, they are actually posh.
Surrey Private school posh.
They all seem nice and DD's BF is adorable but they are most certainly posh - not a judgement or criticism, just fact.

The trouble is people from midlands down sound "posh" to anyone further North it seems.

I used to work in Sheffield. One of my workmates said I had a posh accent. Nope, just a South London accent.

@RampantIvy There are fewer northern people at Oxbridge and some southern unis. Lots of northern people don’t look at Exeter and Bristol. However plenty of London dc are happy to go to Durham or Edinburgh. This is because they know enough of their tribe will be there. Other unis such as Sheffield and Liverpool, it’s less likely. You might not like it, but stats bear this up. If dc wish to stay and work in the north, what advantage is Oxbridge? Would you not be happier being at uni in the north and still getting the job you want?

No midlands uni is half full of privately educated dc. They will be a minority and plenty more friends available. Students might joke about someone from Liverpool but it’s common now for anyone from eg Liverpool and Sheffield to refer to anyone around London and the home counties as “posh” purely based on accent. They don’t know their backgrounds but use slang to describe them. I hear DNs doing this all the time. They actually don’t want to mix with “poshos” so avoid unis where they think they will meet them. So a divide is created.

About ⅓ of DC1’s friendship group went to Oxbridge from a northern state school. I’m not sure of anyone who applied to London tbh, there’s about a dozen in the group, they’re at Oxbridge, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Leeds, York, Durham and Warwick.

I’ve not heard any of this ‘poshos’ stuff from my kids and their mates.

However plenty of London dc are happy to go to Durham or Edinburgh. This is because they know enough of their tribe will be there.

So, basically what you are saying is that young people from the south east tend to stick with their tribe, just like young people from the north of England do. I also suspect that a lot of students from the north of England come from less affluent families, and Exeter, Bath and Bristol are known to be expensive places to be a student.

Luckily DD doesn't have a chip on her shoulder about "posh" southerners (I suppose I am or was a "posh" southerner and so are most of my family), or privately educated people. Interestingly, Newcastle has about 24% of privately educated students, and most of DD's friends were privately educated.

@RampantIvy Yes. I do think that. That’s a reason to stay close to home - to stay with the culture you know. Or you move much further away because you know you will find enough people like you to make it work for you. It doesn’t need to descend to slurs but, truthfully, they are levelled at all dc who are “different” other than when it’s illegal to do so!

Very very few state schools have 1/3 go to Oxbridge. Or indeed any school! A grammar might but even that would be very rare. What school gets this percentage to Oxbridge please? Name?

Westminster (obviously not state) sent 86 to Oxbridge last year on a roll of 200.

QE Boys (state) sent 62 on a roll of 145.

Roughly comparable stats, but both schools are huge outliers for various reasons.

edit RampantIvy was talking about her DC's friendship group not the whole school, so that's completely different, but you did ask the question.

If that was meant for me @TizerorFizz, I didn’t say ⅓ from the school go to Oxbridge, I said ⅓ of DC’s friendship group went to Oxbridge. Huge difference. And no, I’m not naming the school either.

My child is only considering university’s close to home. I’ve just asked her reasons and she said
1 - I’m not leaving my mam 😂
2 - I’m not independent enough to move
3 - How am I going to afford that!?

She seemed horrified at the option of moving away even though I’d support anything she wanted to do.

Most dc have friendship groups in one school.. so it was reasonable to assume it was one school. However as I said, in the north, this is rare. Neither school mentioned is northern, so prove my point about southern dc going. Also one is private ! Where are the state schools with, say, 1/4 going in the north? Or 1/10th? Friendship groups, it seems, don’t mean much. A friendship group of 9 could mean 3 going which is hardly worth mentioning!

It is one school, however I didn’t refer to the school, I referred to a dozen friends.

So 4 dc?! Hardly an indication of anything! Any perusal of stats shows you the north produces fewer dc going to Oxbridge. It’s fact. It’s likely because dc don’t value it above staying in the north and going to Durham or Manchester etc. @CloseYourRingStress Why do you think dc from the north are under represented at Oxbridge?

Majority of students I know including DD have moved away for uni despite there being the option to attend at least 2 universities a commute from home. The whole going away for the university experience is still very much a thing although financially as a parent I really wish it wasn't.

Can you explain @TizerorFizz what is the difference in culture between northern students and southern students? My DC are northern and have lots of friends who are southerners. are you being offensive again?

Some people just like coming into empty rooms and starting fights.

@BRL2 What is offensive? Get off your high horse. Can you not see the difference between destination stats and personal stories? There are fewer northern DC going south. It’s a fact. It’s nothing to do with what your dc do. The op asked about trends. The trends are what they are.

By the way, I don’t care where dc go. However it’s common now for dc to want to stay with their type of dc. They work out where that is and who it is. It’s up to them but we often have threads on here with northern state dc desperate to avoid dc from private schools and ones from the south, who, they believe, are posh and nothing like them. No one ever writes their dc want to avoid failing comp northerners! They would not dare

However it’s common now for dc to want to stay with their type of dc. They work out where that is and who it is.

Is it?

Northen state educated DD went to a university that she wanted to go to - for the course and the city. It never occurred to her to stick with her "tribe". All her best friends at university came were privately educated, because she liked them, not because she has preconceived ideas about privately educated students. She is far more open minded than that.

She is going to another university for a masters. She has no preconceived ideas about the type of student she will meet and befriend.

The stereotyping of northern students on here is getting tiresome.

On another note. Has anyone met people who haven't been "allowed" to move out for university. Because their parents don't want them having the university life.

I met someone who was told by her parents that she wasn't allowed to apply to Cambridge

@Dosfat I have read some heartbreaking posts on The Student Room and in the WIWIKAU Facebook group about this happening. In nearly every case it has been females with very controlling parents. It was also very obvious what their cultural background was.

"we often have threads on here with northern state dc desperate to avoid dc from private schools and ones from the south, who, they believe, are posh and nothing like them. No one ever writes their dc want to avoid failing comp northerners! They would not dare"

@TizerorFizz the reason some parents and/or their dc worry about that is because they've read stories like this: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2020/oct/24/its-had-a-lasting-impact-students-on-being-bullied-over-their-accents

I haven't seen any equivalent articles about students being bullied for being "posh". In practice, most people go to uni to expand their boundaries and, while they manage to find their tribe, their tribe is likely to include people from different backgrounds to themselves.

There are very many students from the South at RG unis like Liverpool, Manchester, Newcastle, Leeds (i.e. not just Durham & Edinburgh).

In all honesty @TizerorFizz you are the only person on mumsnet who ever seems to talk about dc wanting to stick to their ‘tribe.’ You are obsessed with class and status and while you may not say it outright you allude to certain groups of people, ie not the kind of people your DD would hang out with, being socially inferior. I really don’t think you care how offensive you are.

In all honesty @TizerorFizz i really do not care what you think about me. If anything I’m glad you don’t like me.

🤣 indeed and drag up lazy stereotypes!

There's plenty of affluence in the north and the midlands. And excellent universities too. Why choose Bath, Exeter or Bristol over Lancaster, Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle?