Funding university!

[jandalsinsummer]

DC is heading to Uni next year, we are in a position to provide some financial support but dc whilst being academically bright thinks it’s cool to lie in bed all day, hang out with their friends, do no work, scrape a pass etc. I don’t want to be the parent who writes to Uni and says where can I see the attendance register and marks? But I also don’t want to find myself paying out all year (we’re likely to pay most of first year hall fees) only for them to fail the year since they never showed up/submitted assignments. DH is little help (his ‘solution’ for all the lack of work/poor results last year was to say (behind my back) ‘If you pass this year I will buy you a new computer.’ Of course dc could pass with their eyes closed and one hand behind their back so predictable they have done no work and have dreadful attendance and will scrape a pass this year.
I would be so grateful if anyone has any suggestions to share about how we can support dc financially and help them raise their game.
thanks

I think it’s probably hard for people to advise given they don’t know the set up of unis in your country.

but if he’s bright, there’s a good chance whatever carrot and stick you find, he’ll find a work around

Not sure how funding works where you are but my DS should be able to cover rent with his loan and he knows he will get an allowance that means he can eat, travel to where he needs to be and cover other essentials. He knows he needs to save from his part time job to cover socials. And he also knows that if he doesn't put the work in the allowance will stop.

Ultimately they are adults and you can't make them do anything, but no one can make you pay for an adult to have a three year party either.

How many DC actually get a 2.2 or lower due to messing about?

I think it’s probably hard for people to advise given they don’t know the set up of unis in your country.
but if he’s bright, there’s a good chance whatever carrot and stick you find, he’ll find a work around

^ This. I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt, fund him for the first year and if he fucks up, he has to take the consequences which include you withdrawing funding. Hopefully my DD will go to Uni next year and I've told her to grab every opportunity for placements, volunteering etc because in the UK at least, barely scraping a degree with nothing else on your CV isn't going to get you a decent job when you graduate.

I think it’s a mistake to make your financial contribution conditional. It’s your choice to provide funds. It’s their choice to work (or not) towards their degree. If you are not able to separate the two don’t provide the funds as it will just cause resentment both ways

Thanks guys I do appreciate you all taking the time to answer and will keep thinking about your advice (including those who say don’t make it conditional!)