I don't think this is a great idea, is it?

[yogasam]

Dd started at uni just over two months ago. She's happy and has made a handful of good friends who have already been househunting for Year 2. All good.

She now tells me that in the last couple of weeks she and one of the potential future housemates have decided they have romantic feelings for each other.

Not sure what to advise - it doesn't feel like a brilliant idea to commit to moving in with this person so many months down the line, but on the other hand, she doesn't have any other obvious people to move in with and the rest of the group intend to go ahead without her if she pulls out. I really wish they didn't have to make the decision this early but student acccomodation is under significant pressure in her particular uni city.

Any advice from those who have experienced something similar? She can't be the first student to fall for a housemate.

1 of 3 things will happen
They will fall in love and be together forever
They will date/shag (sorry) and then be friends
It will turn into a shit show - happened to my DD's friends last year
Unfortunately you can't do anything and will just have to pick up the pieces if necessary

I ended up living with my ex as a housemate in my second year of uni. It was all right! We'd been together most of the first year, then broke up, but moved into a house with friends that summer. Not ideal perhaps, and there was a smattering of friction / jealousy (mostly from me if I'm honest) here and there, but we were still friendly and I look back on the time fondly.

I also know people who ended up marrying their housemates!

I wouldn't worry too much - it's not ideal, but I'm sure it happens A LOT!

I was in this situation and we're still together (married with 3 DC) 18 years later. Agree that it wasn't an ideal situation but luckily worked out fine for us.

It’s not the best idea, but what will be will be! I moved in with a boyfriend in year 2, we broke up halfway through. Wasn’t great but was fine. Just make sure they have their own bedrooms for space.

Grateful for the reminder that it's not my decision to make - thank you. It's good to hear some stories of it not being a total disaster though. Boy, it's hard letting your firstborn make their own destiny.

I'd be worried too but I know of several examples of this happening in year 2 where they were still together by graduation. It doesn't have to end badly. Sometimes it can be good for the couple and not so good for the other housemates!

My firstborn is currently sorting out her house for next year and I have been more upset than her (she doesn't know obvs - but YES Lucy IS a snake) about who is sharing with who and who isn't /who changed their mind etc - its like a bloody soap opera
DD got together with her BF during their gap years but had been friends for ages and were heading to the same Uni, by mutual consent they decided not to be in the same Halls this year and not to live together next year, although I think both are quite happy they have chosen same sex houses!
As I said in a thread about my DD being poorly a few weeks ago its harder than the toddler years!!!!

Happened in my son's house in 2019 - couple still together now!

Happened with my son in 2020 - they're still together!

I used to hate living with couples when I was a student. It changes the dynamic so much.

DS has two housemates who had a brief relationship (very brief, a few shags really). They still wanted to live with the group and decided that they’d be grownups about it. They are now living in a house of 6 and it’s fine. Both have other relationships now, no big deal.
DS and his girlfriend chose not to live together in yr2. They felt it was a very meaningful relationship and wanted to give it space. We agreed that it was a good idea, they live in parallel roads in the student area. They’ve mentioned living together next year. As they’ve been together over a year now, we’ve given them our support but have suggested that they still have a bedroom each so they can study or just have their own space.
I can see that both situations worked well for those young people.

Happened to me and DH, been together for 30 years next year.

I lived in a house-share with a boyfriend and some other uni friends. It didn't end well and he ended up moving out after trashing the place in a fit of jealous rage. My advice would be definitely make sure they both have their own rooms and give each other plenty of space.

It’s difficult isn’t it! Unfortunately you just have to cut the apron strings and let them make their own choices, even if those choices seem unwise. What you can do is offer advice, such as telling her to be cautious and to make sure that they have separate rooms in the second year house. And of course be there for your daughter if it all comes crashing down!