A-levels/Uni

[Alevelhelp1]

My dc is about to sit their A-levels (May/Jun 25).

Previously was always really good when it came to studying, but since GCSE’s I can’t get them to focus.

Problem being is they have high expectations, in terms of uni (grades required) They are not studying nearly as they much as they should be considering they do need to work on their current grades.

I am tired of trying to encourage them as it seems to fall on deaf ears. I think a current partner may be an influence as in they want to spend more time with them, rather than study, but still expect the results…….

How do I further encourage/prepare for when it all ends in tears on results day?

First of all, don't panic. A year ago I was similarly worried about my DS, but he started working really hard for the last few months and got the results he needed for his first choice uni.

If the results aren't what he hoped for, you need to be on the ball with clearing, as the remaining places can go quickly.

Hi, OP -

I know it is really difficult to worry that your beloved DC may be walking off a cliff. However they are of an age where they truly think they know best, and often do. (Though I agree many of the brightest underestimate the effort getting into their preferred universities will require). Also, you cannot compete with hormones.

I think you can gently open their eyes to the realities of university admissions when opportunities naturally arise. Intelligent DC tend to respect data and facts if you leave it at that. Also, if you observe that the relationship is problematic and in particular that the partner doesn’t seem to want the best for them, I think it’s worth putting some effort into finding a good way to say that someone who loves you wants the best for you. By your standards, not theirs (acknowledging that this is true for both you and the partner).

Finally, do know that whatever happens all is not lost. Clearing is one option but a gap year with a job and resits is another. Many RG universities will accept resits and even in STEM we are seeing a greater acceptance of gap years, as long as the Maths is maintained.

These are my thoughts as a former RG STEM admissions tutor. Best wishes to DC and you

PS UCAS and the Complete University Guide will show the achieved grades of recent cohorts in degree programmes nationwide. These may be higher than the stated entry requirements at top programmes, meaning that (aside from contextual admissions) the bulk of offers are going to applicants with higher PGs than the standard entry requirements.

For avoidance of doubt, when a range of entry requirements is given, top of the range is the standard requirement in the large majority of cases; anything else is contextual.

You have to establish rules. DS and his girlfriend agreed not to see each other during the week - only Friday or Saturday. He was doing A levels and she was doing GCSEs. They had an agreed time - something like 9.30 - when they would both finish studying and then have a phone call. It helped that they were both focused on going to uni.

I think at A Level stage you have to back off and leave them to it. If they can't study effectively without a parent nagging them, they are hardly going to be a success at university.

Do they think they are working hard enough (i.e. is it you who has the high expectations)? What are their predicted grades and what's the input from their teachers? How did they get on last year? You may be underestimating them.

I told my DD that after GCSEs I would stop nagging altogether - from then on it was down to her.

She didn't work hard enough at A-Levels and didn't get the grades for her chosen course.

However two years later she's just started at a different uni on what is potentially a more useful course and seems quite happy. She's definitely more mature after two years of work and living away from home for one of those.

As hard as it is at some point you have to take the decision it's down to them.

'Problem being is they have high expectations,'

This is good - keep promoting that - have they selected their choices / been to open days? Keep talking positively about the city/uni choices - go with the carrot rather than the stick. I find that they are influenced by their peers and tend to step up their game when offers come in, mock results out, NEAs due etc.

Do ask about boundaries in the relationship and how much time they need and if they feel able to bracket that off.