So I caught up with him yesterday and we went for a long walk and some lunch - he actually looked well (at the end of last year he looked dreadful). His posture, skin, face, weight, eye contact, how he spoke - you know how you can tell?
We chatted about how classes were going and if he's made any new friends (he has), clubs he had joined (he has) and any new hobbies (Warcraft, haha but he says the history is interesting).
Then we chatted about reality vs expectation (about the people I have known who look like they are having the most amazing life - but then turn out to have been incredibly unhappy, damaged and abused - but with just a smile plastered in their face), stress management and he had promised to get his backside to the gym as a priority (it's really close - roll out of bed close - to the dorms) and try a yoga or meditation class (I asked him if there was 'one thing' I could do for him and he said it would be to learn how to relax and slow down). I know the gym does these classes and because it's close to a few student blocks it's all 'young people'.
I told him about how I spend my student days being very shy, insular and unsure of myself, and didn't allow myself to just have fun and be more in control (want to go out - ask people if they fancy a coffee or a pint! Whats the worst that could happen?).
He is worried about getting work experience - he keeps being told that he doesn't 'tick' enough DEI boxes and that's frustrating him. But I told him that it's not the end of the world, loads of his classmates aren't even bothering and to ask friends parents, friends of ours etc (ie network!) for advice and see if student services have some sort of careers help.
It's reading week next week 'so I'll
Come home Wednesday because we have an exam Tuesday - oh actually make that Thursday because I'm going to a club Halloween do on the Wednesday night'. So I guess that's not a bad thing. I told him not to booze too much!
I felt a lot happier for seeing him and he was his chirpy self (he has absolutely no 'poker face' so when he goes to ground we know something is happening - good or bad). He was even joking about his laundry!
We bumped into one of his flatmates and they were chatting and joking, so that made me feel happier too.
I told him outright that I was worried, that I know he had a bad time last year with all that was going on, and that he can call us anytime (we are both insomniacs so, hey). I said he doesn't need to speak to us (although he did say that we were both good to speak to and he could always rely on us to give good advice and work our Plans if Action) and that we could point him in the direction of a counsellor or therapist if needed (he poo pooed this - not sure why, I was a therapist for goodness sake! but didn't deal with children/teens). He said that he'd call if he felt worried, anxious, or not in control. He is a worrier.
Then he gave me lots of advice on my exercise regime and diet (well he's studying science) and we had a long chat about maths and physics... and architecture.
Argh kids eh?
Thanks all for your kind and helpful words.