Do you help fund your Dc through Uni?

[TheHullabaloo]

Do you help finance your Dc whilst at uni, particularly if they don't get the full maintenance loan due to parental income, or do you think as they are adults, and choosing to go to uni, they should work alongside studying to fund themselves?

That's a real shame if she actually wanted to cook, but sounds like it was absolutely worth shelling out the extra costs so that she doesn't have to worry. Any chance she might qualify for Disabled Student Allowance to help with the extra costs?

My own dd was worried enough about sharing a kitchen with meat eaters (we're all veggie at home) but doesn't have mental health difficulties to deal with on top of that, so her concerns are more manageable.

It came up on a different thread, I had always expected to help my dc, and was surprised when other posters said it wasn't the norm, so thought I'd ask.

Totally agree the system is bollocks re whether they are an adult or not. It's similar to how 16-17 year olds are classed as adults for pricing of nearly everything eg transport etc but don't get any of the rights of being an adult. Eg they can't book a hotel room, travel alone abroad without parents permission etc. And they have to be in full time education so can't be earning a full time salary. So it comes back to the parents to buy the £600 bus pass!

There is nothing wrong in asking the question, it’s interesting to read what others think.

Thank you
DD is a strict vegetarian to the point that she has her own pans here and used a lock box in the fridge as she is terrified of meat contamination ( I know but we are just happy she eats).
We tried to get DSA but our GP refused to fill in the forms as there was nothing on her records - because they just referred to CAHMS when she was really having difficulties and they just stuck her on a waitlist before offering virtually no help so we had to go Private, which The Uni won't accept.
It also means working is tough as she can't do most Hospitality jobs
Anyway, luckily we are able to afford it but we will have to give up some luxuries

@Hoppinggreen

My son receives DSA
It went nowhere near his GP or any other 'professionals '
He applied on line via the Student finance site. He had an online interview with DSA, it was nothing to do with his university.
We had to send a proof of disability or health condition. All we had was his ASD diagnosis which was years old. He did have an EHCP at school but we couldn't use that - he went to college and had a year out so it had lapsed

That's rubbish, I'm sorry to hear that you have been so let down via the system. She is indeed lucky that you're able to afford alternative options as it sounds like she would be completely stuck otherwise. It really isn't fair that the ridiculous waiting lists for CAMHS end up blocking children and young people from other sources of support that ought to be available to them.

My dd is generally pretty easy-going and chilled about stuff on the whole, but we did have to get up at the crack of dawn on move-in day to drive across the country in time for her to bag the top shelf in the fridge as she was paranoid about other people's "meat juices" contaminating her stuff. It must be a whole lot harder when those concerns get wrapped up into wider mental health issues.

There are advantages to catered halls though. My dd is doing a stressful course and I'm concerned that she will not bother to feed herself when things start to get tough - I'm pretty sure that she has adhd, like me (currently awaiting an assessment) - she doesn't usually recognise hunger cues and she finds it difficult to initiate boring tasks like cooking. I'd have loved for her to go into catered halls but she didn't want to and I'm not even sure if her uni has any!

Sorry, meant to quote @Hoppinggreen.

Thank you
DD did do those forms I believe but needed something from her GP which they refused to provide as it "wasn't on her records"

The system is based on parents making up the gap between the minimum and maximum loan ,so that really is the minimum parents should oay
We are in Scotland so no tuition fees
We give our DC £1100 a month to cover rent and spending money
No loans
Also pay for things we were paying anyway eg phones
I was skint at Uni and don't want that for my DC

My daughter isn’t entitled to the full loan but we simply don’t have the money spare each month to make up the difference to what the full loan would be.

However I have saved a little bit each month for her since birth so she has a little bit of money in savings to use, and I’ll continue to give her the money I was saving for her until she finishes university. It’s only £25 a month though so won’t go far!!

I’ve also paid her accommodation deposit, put £200 onto a catering card and bought her a good supply of toiletries, cleaning stuff, non perishables etc. We still pay for her contact lenses and phone contract too. It’s going to be tight for her until she can find work though.

I feel really guilty that we can’t top up to the full loan amount but we just can’t. Both dp and I supported ourselves through university but things were a lot cheaper then. Student accommodation now is crazy money!

I do have sympathy for those supporting more than 1 child at uni. When they were born life was very different - you could leave school and get a job and get some kind of dedicated school leaver/early career support in the workplace. Arguably there was less marketisation of Uni's at that time too.

I bought everything he needed before he started, I pay for his train travel home and back and buy him things he needs as and when yes.

i earn about £40k so not minimum wage exactly but i am a single parent so that has to cover the whole of a mortgage and bills and doesn’t go far these days.

i kind of feel like shit reading this thread 😭

@CharlotteLightandDark

I earn about the same and am also a single parent.
You can only do what you can
I've made sure my son was set up in his first year with the things he needed and a big food shop. I was still paying his phone and a few other things and contributed about half the cost of his car. I don't drive so the car was important to him. We could have managed without but it but he worked hard to save for it.
He is 20 now and I feel that we are very much a partnership. We each contribute according to our means, time and skills.

Sounds like you are doing loads. I bet if you added up how much you'd given, it would add up to a fair amount.

Yes of course. I’ve seen people say they won’t support as they didn’t get support, completely ignoring the fact they got a student grant or their loan was less than 5k. Parents are expected to contribute and unless there’s very good reason I struggle to understand why they don’t. If I needed to I’d get an evening job to help support my son. I don’t know why a parent wouldn’t want to her their child get a degree and a good job. To me nothing is more important than my kids getting set up in life and I’m not well off by any means but I do all I can to help financially support.

I do think parents need to be told much earlier on that they are expected to contribute as most people just think they get a loan. They have no idea the government expects parents to top up loans. If they had more notice, they could start saving much sooner. Many find out 1-2yrs before

@Zanatdy The info is there though. They just choose to look the other way. Once you read about students and loans you do know it might be you one day. Maybe info should go into baby packs?

I pay DS’ accommodation and he lives on his loan. His loan is heavily reduced due to household income but what I pay for his halls is more than he’s ’lost’ in the reduction. He would struggle if he just had the full loan. I don’t think he should have a term time job, his ‘job’ is to do well at uni and get his £9250-worth each year.

I have been saving since DD was a baby. She will come out of Uni with no debt just like I did.

Yeah but when your child is a baby or in primary school you’re not going to be looking at student loans. Most people I’ve spoken to are really shocked to hear that in England the loan is means tested on parents income - even step parents income. Maybe it should be in baby packs yes, like in the US many parents start a college fund as they know college is very expensive, here parents just think their child will receive a loan for it and they don’t need to worry about it as it’s a ‘tax’ and Martin Lewis said not to worry. Whereas kids could get a more helpful start in their careers without a huge debt around their neck. Sure look at it like a tax, but any salary increase your percentage you repay increases and it must feel like you’re never going to pay it all off (and 40yrs of feeling like that, is a very long time).

It’s not a shock to some people but lots of us just don’t have lots to spare every Monty to save so they can be debt free through uni. If I had saved we would have had no fun times, no holidays, no school trips and no activities in his 18 years of life just so I had savings in case he wanted to go to uni. Some of us can’t do both and frankly I did not want him to have a childhood devoid of extra curricular activities and the odd holiday (lots were camping).

These threads can make people feel crap for not having £100’s spare each month to give to their adult children.

We live comfortably but would never be able to afford to pay for uni accommodation, which now seems to be close to £1k per month as standard.

We could contribute a few hundred per month. But I'd kind of expect my kid to at least have a part-time job a few hours a week.

Not sure how I would have coped without a part-time job at uni!

100% agree. The threshold for the full loan is 25k per year - there have been multiple threads on here of people who struggle on 100k! 😂 And yet somehow people on 30-40 magically have an extra 6k a year to pay their kids' uni accommodation? The maths ain't mathsing 😂

Ditto.

I told my daughter not to apply for a maintenance loan and will fund her instead. I aim to start with a decent weekly allowance and she has said she will advise if it's more than she needs. She's fully aware of what a good position she is in and that others may not be.

@WoahThreeAces I think there has to be greater awareness of the costs as there is still an assumption, amongst many parents, that the loan will cover all costs. I don't think schools like to emphasis the difficulties but perhaps they should from yr11 onwards so parents are forewarned.

I can't see anything changing, given the dire position of UK debt, especially as Universities are asking to increase fees to over 12k, which will place more debt on the loan company and then the students.

Parents would need to save approx £60 per month for 18 years to achieve the accommodation savings and unfortunately UK parents need to realise Uni education is now closer to the USA college model than the golden times of grants and no fees.

However if the money isn't there then gap years will be required or choosing a Uni closer to home or finding a much cheaper Uni. I had to rule out London universities for my dc as accommodation costs were way too expensive. I don't feel aggrieved because there are lots of excellent Unis with much cheaper costs.

I also think degree apprenticeships are an excellent way to get an Uni education so wouldn't be too despondent about the avenues.