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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

DD has had to defer 2nd yr

33 replies

Nikki3009 · 17/09/2024 11:27

Hi all, my DD has had to become a dormant student due to not handing in some essays in yr 2 (her uni had told her she could defer them but didn’t bother telling her that this might be the outcome).
She is devastated, she only found out yesterday and I was supposed to be moving her into her accommodation tomorrow. The university hadn’t even told her.
I don’t know what I’m asking really - just some moral support. I fear her mental health is going to nosedive. We’ve already had a lot to deal with - including me splitting up from her Dad, who was abusive and an alcoholic, her having to live with her grandparents whilst all this was going on. Then living with a maniac in her first yr of uni, and her Dad attempting suicide. Plus splitting up with her boyfriend because he couldn’t handle what she was going through. It’s been a bloody lot for her to deal with and really uni is her purpose, she doesn’t feel she can do a year at home as she has no friends where we now live.

Honestly, I am fearful for her. I need to inject some positivity, hear some good outcomes because atm it’s all doom and gloom and the bottom has fallen out from under her.

All manner of sh*t can happen to me and I deal with it, but when it’s your child, it feels so gut wrenching 🥲
thanks for listening x

OP posts:
Youmwarayoum · 17/09/2024 11:33

I had to defer a year when I was student, but that was due to ill health. But when I returned a year later and was in classes with those who were in the year below, I ended up making life long best friends who I would never have met if I didn’t take a year out. Not sure if that story will help your daughter, but just wanted to say sometimes it does work out better.

KnottedTwine · 17/09/2024 11:39

We are in this situation with my son, who has to retake third year (we are in Scotland, 4 year degrees) due to failing one module of the four he took. He did hear about this in August though so has had a month to get his head around it, and is living at home rather than in halls. We are trying to sell it to him as an opportunity to deal with the health issues which are stopping him achieving, and to get some work experience under his belt.

Solidarity though, it's hard.

Original poster
Nikki3009 · 17/09/2024 13:52

Youmwarayoum · 17/09/2024 11:33

I had to defer a year when I was student, but that was due to ill health. But when I returned a year later and was in classes with those who were in the year below, I ended up making life long best friends who I would never have met if I didn’t take a year out. Not sure if that story will help your daughter, but just wanted to say sometimes it does work out better.

Thank you! It does help to know that it’s happened to others and their is a positive outcome! x

OP posts:
Original poster
Nikki3009 · 17/09/2024 14:02

KnottedTwine · 17/09/2024 11:39

We are in this situation with my son, who has to retake third year (we are in Scotland, 4 year degrees) due to failing one module of the four he took. He did hear about this in August though so has had a month to get his head around it, and is living at home rather than in halls. We are trying to sell it to him as an opportunity to deal with the health issues which are stopping him achieving, and to get some work experience under his belt.

Solidarity though, it's hard.

So hard for them 😕
I think if used positively then it could be an opportunity and I hope your son finds his feet and makes some good plans. With my DD I think this is going to damage her already fragile confidence because so much of her self-worth is wrapped up in her studying - what a bloody hard life lesson.
Also, how bad of her uni not to tell her!

OP posts:
Battlerope · 17/09/2024 15:27

Are you sure the uni didn’t inform her earlier? Has she been through all her uni emails?

MeAgainAndAgain · 17/09/2024 16:12

Honestly, I am a huge fan of taking time out to downgrade whatever pressures you are feeling, and to work on your mental health for some time.

Given that she’s had a tough time with everything you listed, this enforced year out sounds excellent. If that was my child I would secretly be thanking the powers that be.

Are you down financially? Eg have you paid for accommodation she won’t be using etc? Can she live with you this year? Does she need a job? Can she focus on her MH? Then go back next year feeling ready, rather than stressed?

Original poster
Nikki3009 · 17/09/2024 16:33

Battlerope · 17/09/2024 15:27

Are you sure the uni didn’t inform her earlier? Has she been through all her uni emails?

No, definitely not - she found out because she contacted them as she hadn’t has a re-enrolment and most of her friends had.
its been a huge shock for her

OP posts:
Original poster
Nikki3009 · 17/09/2024 16:38

I’m with you in that respect. And I hope that once
shes processed it, she’ll find something positive to do. Yes she can live with me and I’ll do my best to chivvy her along. I just feel her disappointment and fear.
she’s already worrying about her friends graduating without her and being alone in yr3.
its a shame for her

OP posts:
delayrepayagain · 17/09/2024 16:48

She would/should have been fully made aware of this by her Module Leader as will also have received a resit attempt earlier in the year. Unfortunately if a student does not pass all academic elements they cannot progress into the following year.

poetryandwine · 17/09/2024 16:48

Hi, OP -

I am very sorry for everything that’s happening. So often it is precisely when students are in the midst of life stresses that they become unable to complete their work, which is hardly surprising. Your DD has had a lot to deal with.

Based on the experiences of my personal tutees and my work on Mitigating Circumstances Panels, I have come to believe that regaining one’s MH should be the primary focus. Without that, whatever went wrong before is all too likely to continue happening, with worse consequences each time. I know it can be difficult to help a vulnerable YP to appreciate this point, however.

If DD really was not informed by the university until yesterday, that’’s awful. But I also wonder about this. Failure to progress sounds like a large percentage of marks were allocated to these essays - ie, they weren’t just routine coursework, because you can miss that out, pass your exams and progress.

It sounds like these essays had a status more akin to the status of an exam. Is that right? What did DD suppose would happen if she failed to turn in something of this nature? More importantly, is she positive that she has no written communication from the university about deadlines? Because if any emails were sent and a complaint is made, staff will dig them up faster than you can blink. (It is also true that students may be held to the guidance in their programme study guides or similar, but I think that is more dubious)

I don’t mean at all to sound harsh - to the contrary, admin improprieties happen frequently enough that my instinct is to sympathise with the student. I then remind myself to pull back and consider the situation, as I would with a personal tutee. Sometimes there are grounds for Mitigating Circumstances or, at this stage, an appeal. The Student Union may be able to advise on that. I would suggest that the general collection of circumstances you’ve outlined has affected DD’s MH and her father’s suicide attempt and its aftermath was a specific triggering event.

Except that I don’t actually think she should appeal, because it doesn’t sound like she is in a good place to complete Y3 as she and you would wish, anyway. Much better to sort her health now and return when she is ready to thrive. Best wishes to her

delayrepayagain · 17/09/2024 17:05

I completely agree with PP.

Your DD has had a huge amount to to deal with. Perhaps she did know the consequences of not submitting though I would hope any Module Leader would make this clear particularly on second attempt. However final decisions on progression are made by University Exam Boards (these sit outside the academic team as we naturally build relationships with our students) and academics cannot pre-empt these, only give advice on possible outcomes. Maybe this is what has happened in your DD’s case?

WriterOfWrongs · 17/09/2024 17:44

Hi all, my DD has had to become a dormant student due to not handing in some essays in yr 2

You say in your title that she has to defer Year 2 but the above suggests she’s done year 2 (but not completed it), which suggests it’s actually year 3 she’s deferring? Is that correct?

I’m clarifying because there can sometimes be a difference in importance in essays in year 1 and that in year 2.

I feel for her but like PP I would be surprised if she hadn’t been informed or been informed of the consequences. If that really is the case then I’d consider her making a strong complaint. Apart from anything else, surely she’ll lose money she’s paid for from the accommodation this year.

Blushingm · 17/09/2024 18:03

Are you sure - at the end of each year you get confirmation of whether you can progress or not. I've recently graduated from 2 different universities.

YellowAsteroid · 18/09/2024 13:44

It really sounds as though she could do with a year away from the stress of studying and coping with the university's requirements - handing in essays is pretty basic, and if she can't/couldn't do this - for WHATEVER reason - it's a sign that she's really not coping.

In that situation, I tend to advise my stuidents that it's probably in their long-term interests to take a break, get therapy, recover their physical & mental health, work in an undemanding job, ear money, and just get off the study treadmill for a bit.

When students do this, the results when they return can be very good.

She's been through a lot, but in the end (although it sounds harsh), no-one gets a degree for their painful difficult circumstances. If she's not really clocked university processes, she can't cope. And it is part of the transition from child to adult to deal with university bureaucracy and study requirements - it's good preparation for independent adult life. Take her home, and let her just breathe ...

Don't try to patch her up if she's not fully fit mentally & physically. The university opportunity is not one to limp through, ideally. Her degree programme will still be there when she can better cope.

I highly doubt that she was not told about consequences - we do this in all our introductory lectures and it's in all our university, faculty, department and module handbooks. The penalties for non-completion are clear, as are the ways in which students can apply for mitigation. I suspect she was in denial, as everything else was just too much.

Original poster
Nikki3009 · 18/09/2024 18:53

MeAgainAndAgain · 17/09/2024 16:12

Honestly, I am a huge fan of taking time out to downgrade whatever pressures you are feeling, and to work on your mental health for some time.

Given that she’s had a tough time with everything you listed, this enforced year out sounds excellent. If that was my child I would secretly be thanking the powers that be.

Are you down financially? Eg have you paid for accommodation she won’t be using etc? Can she live with you this year? Does she need a job? Can she focus on her MH? Then go back next year feeling ready, rather than stressed?

I completely agree, she wasn’t really ready to go when she did and perhaps this is the outcome of that.

We’re going to look at finances tomorrow, she can live with me and she’s writing a list of things she could do with this year. Once being, have some therapy and work on her MH.

I hope it’s a blessing in disguise

OP posts:
Original poster
Nikki3009 · 18/09/2024 18:58

WriterOfWrongs · 17/09/2024 17:44

Hi all, my DD has had to become a dormant student due to not handing in some essays in yr 2

You say in your title that she has to defer Year 2 but the above suggests she’s done year 2 (but not completed it), which suggests it’s actually year 3 she’s deferring? Is that correct?

I’m clarifying because there can sometimes be a difference in importance in essays in year 1 and that in year 2.

I feel for her but like PP I would be surprised if she hadn’t been informed or been informed of the consequences. If that really is the case then I’d consider her making a strong complaint. Apart from anything else, surely she’ll lose money she’s paid for from the accommodation this year.

You’re quite right, she’s done Year 2 (minus some essays), so will be deferring year 3.

In the words of her personal tutor, the uni has “f*cked her over” by not offering support when she was trying to get hold of them (they leave emails unanswered for weeks and weeks) and no one ever answers the phone!

Even the program manager told her that the uni needs to communicate better. All that being said, if my daughter had actually handed the essays in on time, then she wouldn’t have found herself in this situation.

it’s a really hard lesson, but I’m hoping this could be better for her in the longer term

OP posts:
Original poster
Nikki3009 · 18/09/2024 19:03

YellowAsteroid · 18/09/2024 13:44

It really sounds as though she could do with a year away from the stress of studying and coping with the university's requirements - handing in essays is pretty basic, and if she can't/couldn't do this - for WHATEVER reason - it's a sign that she's really not coping.

In that situation, I tend to advise my stuidents that it's probably in their long-term interests to take a break, get therapy, recover their physical & mental health, work in an undemanding job, ear money, and just get off the study treadmill for a bit.

When students do this, the results when they return can be very good.

She's been through a lot, but in the end (although it sounds harsh), no-one gets a degree for their painful difficult circumstances. If she's not really clocked university processes, she can't cope. And it is part of the transition from child to adult to deal with university bureaucracy and study requirements - it's good preparation for independent adult life. Take her home, and let her just breathe ...

Don't try to patch her up if she's not fully fit mentally & physically. The university opportunity is not one to limp through, ideally. Her degree programme will still be there when she can better cope.

I highly doubt that she was not told about consequences - we do this in all our introductory lectures and it's in all our university, faculty, department and module handbooks. The penalties for non-completion are clear, as are the ways in which students can apply for mitigation. I suspect she was in denial, as everything else was just too much.

Thank you for your insight, by her own admission, she got into a bad habit of getting extensions for essays and it snowballed.

I hope this is a blessing in disguise, it gives her a year to recover from everything that’s happened and I hope she can have some good experiences.

Shes so sad that she won’t be graduating with her friendship group and for that I do really feel for her!

OP posts:
Battlerope · 18/09/2024 19:09

In the words of her personal tutor, the uni has “fcked her over” by not offering support when she was trying to get hold of them (they leave emails unanswered for weeks and weeks) and no one ever answers the phone!*

Was her personal tutor also not responding to emails and answering the phone?

Kitkat1523 · 18/09/2024 19:11

Nikki3009 · 18/09/2024 19:03

Thank you for your insight, by her own admission, she got into a bad habit of getting extensions for essays and it snowballed.

I hope this is a blessing in disguise, it gives her a year to recover from everything that’s happened and I hope she can have some good experiences.

Shes so sad that she won’t be graduating with her friendship group and for that I do really feel for her!

Show quote history

a few years down the line it will be a complete non issue….she will have finished uni…..be out there working….have new friends again……but I get that’s it’s hard for her now…..good luck to her🍀

KnottedTwine · 18/09/2024 20:03

DS is struggling accessing support from his tutor and course leader too. They're not responding to emails at all, basically ir's all up to him to sit the exam again and pass it. The student union though have been very supportive and helpful, would encourage your DD to set up an appointment with them @Nikki3009 as they will have dealt with loads of people in this situation and can signpost available help and can explain the system better to her.

Hairyfairy01 · 18/09/2024 20:43

Are you sure your dd doesn't have to repeat, and pass) year 2 before she can progress to year 3? Or does she just have to resubmit her year 2 essays? If it's a case of resubmitting them will she be capped at 40% or whatever? If so, is she not better off repeating year 2?

YellowAsteroid · 18/09/2024 20:47

DS is struggling accessing support from his tutor and course leader too. They're not responding to emails at all, basically ir's all up to him to sit the exam again and pass it.

August is about the only time academic staff can take a proper holiday (although I still have more vacation days than I can take this year because taking annual leave is almost impossible outside of August). So I don't think it's reasonable to expect teaching staff to be available in August.

And yes, it IS up to a student to sit and pass their exams ...

KnottedTwine · 18/09/2024 21:38

It's not August though is it, it's September.

I also don't think it's out of the box for a student to ask their tutor to recommend additional reading or similar.

Original poster
Nikki3009 · 19/09/2024 06:00

Hairyfairy01 · 18/09/2024 20:43

Are you sure your dd doesn't have to repeat, and pass) year 2 before she can progress to year 3? Or does she just have to resubmit her year 2 essays? If it's a case of resubmitting them will she be capped at 40% or whatever? If so, is she not better off repeating year 2?

Honestly, I have no idea! I’ll speak to her about this today. As far as she’s been told, she has completed yr 2, she has 3 essays to hand in, in Q2 and can then proceed to yr 3 in sept 25.
i did mention repeating yr2 but she said it was unnecessary.
The communication from her uni has been dire!

OP posts:
YellowAsteroid · 19/09/2024 06:08

KnottedTwine · 18/09/2024 21:38

It's not August though is it, it's September.

I also don't think it's out of the box for a student to ask their tutor to recommend additional reading or similar.

We generally include lists of further reading in our module outlines. One of mine runs for over 3 pages. There are also references suggested in lectures and then - there’s the library catalogue.