Empty nesters | Mumsnet

Billy24 · 2024-09-07T22:43:18+00:00

Just to let all the parents know I’m thinking of you driving your sons or daughters to uni today and leaving them. We all know it’s for the best but it’s heartbreaking xx

PolaroidPrincess · 08/09/2024 10:00

Not necessarily heart breaking OP. DC1 went last year. They've still spent a large proportion of time at home as their exams finished in June and they had a month off for Christmas and Easter.

It's an adjustment but they're doing what they want to do and enjoying it. Plus I have more time to do the things that I want to do.

mondaytosunday · 08/09/2024 18:51

My youngest goes the end if the month. I'm a widow so it really will be an empty nest (bar our four pets).
But I'm thinking it's a wonderful opportunity for me to get out there! Even though having my DD at home is not stopping me now, I feel it's only when she leaves that I can fully embrace the workshops and courses and travel I plan on.
Of course I'll miss her but this is such and exciting time for her which far outweighs that.

VoyagerOfTheTeenYears · 08/09/2024 19:08

Mine has gone today - despite all my excitement for him and experience of him being away travelling etc last year I am still sad and worried for him. I know it will be great in the long run but the first bit is hard. I know that he will call me if he is unhappy so no news is good news but I want to know how he is getting on too. Thanks for your post OP - needed somewhere to vent.

Lola1974 · 08/09/2024 19:14

Their laundry never leaves.

PolaroidPrincess · 08/09/2024 19:15

Lola1974 · 08/09/2024 19:14

Their laundry never leaves.

Edited

Doesn't it just!

Jorvik1 · 09/09/2024 08:13

I know that he will call me if he is unhappy so no news is good news but I want to know how he is getting on too.

Ring or text him and ask.

Ceit · 10/09/2024 09:21

They will be back. A lot.

VoyagerOfTheTeenYears · 10/09/2024 11:09

Ring or text him and ask.

Well yes but I don’t want to hassle him. Although I have now text him a load of questions - I am sure he will roll his eyes at it. He does seem to be having a good time from the limited communication we have had so it’s all good.

PolaroidPrincess · 10/09/2024 15:38

VoyagerOfTheTeenYears · 08/09/2024 19:08

Mine has gone today - despite all my excitement for him and experience of him being away travelling etc last year I am still sad and worried for him. I know it will be great in the long run but the first bit is hard. I know that he will call me if he is unhappy so no news is good news but I want to know how he is getting on too. Thanks for your post OP - needed somewhere to vent.

DC1 is also a bit of a nerd. He's managed to find plenty of fellow nerds to be friends with. I think it helps that he's on a STEM course. Do you have a family WhatsApp group? Sometimes he'll post things in there.

Jorvik1 · 10/09/2024 18:24

Well yes but I don’t want to hassle him.

But it's not hassling, it's communicating.

Sorrento2014 · 11/09/2024 20:25

I'm so up and down about it all! Pleased she seems to be settling, busy and happy but miss her so much. And worrying about every little thing, from what is she cooking/eating to is she sad/homesick. It's nice to FaceTime and see she looks ok but on the other hand it makes me tearful when I talk to her. Will hopefully see her in few weeks but the whole family unit has changed and that's harder than I thought it would be.
Feels slightly better a few days in 💐 for those in same boat.

VoyagerOfTheTeenYears · 11/09/2024 21:18

Yes we do have family WhatsApp and also BeReal which is fab for a daily photo or two. Also we have now had a phone call. Fortunately DS seems to be having a great time and his flatmates are friendly so all is well. He is really busy though so I can’t easily just phone him whenever as he is often in the middle of something and I don’t want him to feel he has to drop everything to talk to me.

Movingon2024 · 12/09/2024 19:52

Struggling here...Dd is having a hard time making friends on fresher's week - she's joining clubs and societies and attending evrery social event going, but those in her apartment already have networks and she's just doesn't seem to have found a 'group' yet.

I know if's early days, but She's obviously lonely, and that's such a change from the socially confident 18 year old who went to uni.

I suppose it just takes time - anyone else's DC in the same boat?

BoreOffAboutYerChickensEmma · 13/09/2024 00:27

Movingon2024 · 12/09/2024 19:52

Struggling here...Dd is having a hard time making friends on fresher's week - she's joining clubs and societies and attending evrery social event going, but those in her apartment already have networks and she's just doesn't seem to have found a 'group' yet.

I know if's early days, but She's obviously lonely, and that's such a change from the socially confident 18 year old who went to uni.

I suppose it just takes time - anyone else's DC in the same boat?

Hi, my DS goes on Saturday. It took me about 3-4 weeks to find good friends at uni. I liken it to the Big Brother house. Everyone is coming in, flitting about as social butterflies with seemingly strong networks but it settles down.

Is there any other club, or could she start one? There is a club at my son’s uni for people who like cosy nights in, there is a group chat already on the campus portal for people who want to meet as a group for lunches or to have “pot luck” meals where they all bring a dish and eat whatever random combination they end up with.

Movingon2024 · 14/09/2024 11:30

Thanks for that....I am hopeful she will find her feet, but it's certainly taking a while.

I just think Fresher's week is hard with no structure and if you don't immediately click with those in your accommodation.

My heart goes out to my baby but i know I have to step back

OhshutupBarry · 17/09/2024 11:04

I am here too. DS went on Saturday and I took DD back for final year a few weeks ago. So now I am all alone (well bar the cat!). DS is very lucky that he has a good group of mates going to the same Uni and a few days in is loving it. I just want them to be happy, others are right they are home so much that it outweighs the times they are away. I feel a little sad that it is the end of an era but he is exactly where he should be soooo!