Changing unis for master's

[IWantABanana]

DS is moving to a new university for his masters and is worried about the move and making friends. He's done some research and he knows most of his cohort will most likely be internationals.

Is it a good idea for him to reach out to school/sixth form classmates? He's messaged a few who have said how great the university is socially and have said a courtesy "yes let's meet up!". DS can't tell if they are being genuine or not. I'm erring on the side of them just saying it to be polite. DS tells me that a familiar face would do him a world of good in a new environment and would help him deal with the change.

My suggestion to DS is to go to all the mixers and join societies that he's genuinely interested in.

DS will never know whether his old classmates are just being polite unless he tests the waters. Whether to do that, only he can say.

Joining clubs, societies, sports groups etc that genuinely appeal is of course a great idea. Some of these will attract more PGs than others, because some will appeal more to students closer to school age. He can figure it out. Anyway, who really cares? The main thing is that he enjoy himself.

Hopefully his degree programme will offer some social and intellectual-social events, and hopefully some of the International students will be interested in making some British friends. And he presumably won’t be the only Home student on the programme.

But yes, it can be lonely at first. Best wishes to him

@poetryandwine thank you. DS does want to make friends

@IWantABanana you don't say what your DS is going to be studying, but FWIW DD2 (who also switched universities, and cities, for her Masters) found that the course was way more intensive than her undergraduate and that there was very little time for extra-curricular. She met some nice fellow students and got on fine with them, but their relationship was very much based around the course and the research they were doing, there wasn't really sufficient spare time to cultivate a new social life.

MSc in financial mathematics, (after doing a bsc in maths & stats)

If they've replied they are keen to meet you, then he might as well test the waters and see if a meet up materialises. However, it's probably also a good opportunity to practise making new acquaintances ( who might become friends) as in a years time he could end up working somewhere he knows no-one.

For my young adult children, I sell the idea that it's good to join things to have things to do and people to say hello to. If a friendship grows out of it then that's a bonus.

thing47 is right that some standalone Masters can be very intensive. Fees can be high so fellow students can be very motivated, and if changing institutions there may be gaps in knowledge that need to be filled in.

Equally if it is a 10 month Masters, almost as soon as you start you are starting to apply for jobs or PhDs. Equally time consuming. To the extent that some prospective PhD students will plan for a post Masters gap year possibly working as a research assistant, so they can focus on getting the best grade possible in the Masters, and then start applications the following year.

If he is applying in parallel he may find that January exam results became very important as employers/institutions will look at them as a predictor of final result.

Friendships at the post grad stage, whether Masters, law conversion or whatever can be different. These are people who may have chosen the same career path as you, and so could form part of your future networks. Friendships may deepen but are more likely to form in the classroom than in the bar.

I did my masters after a break and at a different uni - mostly made up of international students. Made some incredible friends and has a brilliant time. And lots of people to visit around the world on holidays. (Also now married to one of them 😂)

My brother did his masters in a different uni/city. He said it was quite intense and he didn’t have as much time for socialising as undergrad. He found a house share with randoms, one of whom was the best man at his wedding last year!

DS did a masters last year at a different uni and in a different country. He made some friends and went out a bit but it was pretty intense work wise. He came home quite a bit too in the quieter periods and worked from here.

Not a field I or anyone in my family know much about, I'm afraid. But DD2 is in STEM and spent a lot of time in labs so evenings and weekends were needed for catching up with notes, further reading and they quite often had guest lectures and classes in the evenings too. This was at a world-renown institution for her particular field so it was hard work keeping up. She started off planning to do some paid work but very quickly came to the conclusion that she didn't have time for that.

Some prospective PhD students will plan for a post Masters gap year possibly working as a research assistant, so they can focus on getting the best grade possible in the Masters, and then start applications the following year.

This is an excellent point from @Needmoresleep, DD2's Masters was actually a full 12 months and as she had undertaken it straight after a 4-year undergrad she wanted a break from studying too. She was very focused and determined to get a top grade (big change from her undergraduate days!), so a research assistant job was almost like light relief after that.

Postgrad really isn’t like an undergraduate course. Not only are there likely to be more international students, there will probably be a greater proportion of students who have worked for some time after their first degrees. They may have mortgages, partners, children, maybe even elderly parents, or professional jobs to attend to in addition to the masters degree.

So, as pp have said, people are less interested in socialising just for its own sake. They may attend a few drinks things at the start of the year - mainly to suss out their fellow students, but after that everyone will be trying to squeeze study into already busy lives.

I (42) am in touch with no-one from school, one uni friend from my BA 2000-2003 (We talk maybe every 2 months and see each other 2-3 times a year when visiting parents near the other.) From my masters 2005-2007, I am in touch with 3 friends on FB who all moved back overseas, maybe 3 others on FB more vaguely. I have 1 friend who I still talk to on FB every few weeks and see every few months and one who's lived over 100 miles away, for 15 years, but we made the effort to meet up until she moved to heaven at the end of last year.

My MSc (geotechnical engineering) was very intense, albeit 30 years ago. I had to build working relationships with my cohort pretty quickly (mostly men a few years older than me), but also made friends through the postgrad soc and mountaineering club. To be honest, a 12 month MSc is not the time for a thriving social life.

DS still wants to have friends and to feel part of a community.

He tells me he's worried about the first few week and he thought that a coffee with a familiar face from the past would help ease him in.

DS moved in a few days ago and is finding the adjustment quite hard. He went out with a few coursemates to a pub but they were late 20s and all international. He enjoyed their company but finds them to be in a different stage of life to him.

But he's joined a society (very similar to one he ran in UG) and he's met some great people there.

I also think for him him the change from a city university to a campus university (which has a nice nearby city) is a big thing. The campus was really pretty in the summer, but now in the rain DS finds it gloomy and wet and muddy.