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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

I got married and it's impacted on DS loan

165 replies

mumzof4x · 28/08/2024 18:27

So I had 4 dc all with their biological father
Divorced after 25 years
I have worked incredibly hard since . Built up my career on. my own and seen one through uni now teaching / one several years into medicine and ds on year 4 at uni
Their biological father has never contributed one single penny and it nearly broke me but it was worth it. They are great kids and I'm so proud I could do that for them.
I met a man a few years ago and with their blessing we married recently.
Admittedly he's helped dd with her medicine sometimes but that's because he wanted to not needed to
DS put that I am now married on his student finance this year because I am but dh is not his father
He's really upset because he's got £4K for the entire year
I've just finally reduced my hours a bit because dd has additional needs and I need tk be here a bit more
All the other dc always got the max amount they needed which helped tbh . I still had to top them up but not like this
DS got the max the last two years amd all that's changed is I got married
This year has been a struggle as his internship in Oxford overlapped with his final year at uni elsewhere and is costing £3k in double rent
His bills and rent at uni this year are 800 a month and he will have 400 at most
That means I will have to find £600 a month.
We are just buying our first house together and this means we now cannot
I had no idea they would expect my husband to financially support him ? Apparently he had to provide his NI number so they will his salary details and everything
I would have waited until he'd finished uni and never married but it just seemed the right time
Would there be any chance of an appeal? I feel so bad because on my own I have always provided for them and now this.
Any advice would be much appreciated and thank you .

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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rc22 · 29/08/2024 11:05

Back when I was at uni, there were still grants. My boyfriend had the time had divorced parents. His dad had a business and property in the south east which must have been worth millions. Boyfriend's grant was calculated on his mum only so he got a grant. My parents were (and still are) together. We lived in a three bed semi in Hull. I didn't get a grant!

IfOnlyYouWouldListen · 29/08/2024 11:10

Is your DH a high earner? Because 4k sounds like the amount you get authorised for if your household income hasn't been assessed (which if he's a high earner is equivalent), has your DH not been asked to fill out an income assessment?

poptake · 29/08/2024 11:15

Yeah you did it the wrong way round, my mum divorced right before I left so I got the full lot 😂

Bramshott · 29/08/2024 11:17

It's not you getting married that's impacted the loan, it's you living with a partner. I get that the system is unfair, but I think you've probably had a fairly good run having not declared your partner's income previously - sorry! Can you afford to give your DS something to make up for the shortfall between what he's been awarded in previous years and what he's been awarded this year?

Investinmyself · 29/08/2024 11:18

Two adults both working ft don’t need to be high earners and dc will only get min loan, household income over £60,000 means only min loan.
Unless you only moved in together on marriage then his income should have been declared in previous years if he was living with you. I’d be careful of opening a can of worms with SFE.
The rules are clear it’s on household income.

Ivehearditbothways · 29/08/2024 11:19

If he’s been helping one of your kids doing medicine then I assume he has been living with you for a while. Have you been fraudulently filling out the forms all this time? Do you understand what “household income” meant?

Louria · 29/08/2024 11:22

Same here. My ex, DF to our children, who was more than happy for my DP to contribute to his DC’s uni costs. Shame on him, have some self respect, I would be mortified if another woman was picking up the costs of my child ( he then brazen faced attended the graduation ceremony😡!).

DP had already paid to support his own DC’s through uni, he shouldn't have had to contribute to mine.

My DC’s were expected to work though. My contribution started with three months grace for them to find a job. I would have stopped some of it at that point if they hadn't. Important that they contribute.

Same as child benefit, affected by DP’s wage.

Yet my Ex DH claimed successfully for a discount on his maintenance payments because his wife’s child lived 50/50 with them. This child had two full time working, high earner parents, whilst I struggled for years on my own bringing up two on much less money.

Ex’s discount for one child, was more than he had to pay in maintenance for his own two.

The tax payer picking up child care costs too.

No wonder men can walk away and procreate.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 29/08/2024 11:23

If you were cohabiting then you should have been declaring your husband’s income in the first place.

mumzof4x · 29/08/2024 11:35

@Ivehearditbothways that's not a very kind message
My son is one thing and that is down right honest
It wouldn't occur to him to be otherwise and that wasn't my question to be fair

OP posts:
lolly792 · 29/08/2024 11:36

It's a shit system: in my view every student should be entitled to the maximum loan, after all they are adults and the loan shouldn't be dependent on household income. It's pretty bloody unfair that two parents who stay together and both work hard end up being penalised by having to top up because their adult offspring can't get a full loan.

So I disagree with the system fundamentally but as far as the OP is concerned, she's only in the same position as many of us, she's not being treated unfairly in that regard and she should have declared the household income from the day her partner moved in

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/08/2024 11:38

Were you living together before being married? If so, it should have already been declared and your son has fraudulently received too much money in previous years.

they look at household income, presumably as you could be deliberately earning less as you are supported by someone else.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/08/2024 11:41

mumzof4x · 29/08/2024 11:35

@Ivehearditbothways that's not a very kind message
My son is one thing and that is down right honest
It wouldn't occur to him to be otherwise and that wasn't my question to be fair

It’s not unkind it’s factual. If you were previously living together and your son didn’t include his income then he has been dishonest (although potentially by mistake although I thought this was well known)

ElaineMBenes · 29/08/2024 11:41

but he is not my son's father he barely knows him? How's that's okay.

Because it's household income not parental income.

Stockinggg · 29/08/2024 11:41

You can appeal it, not sure if you'll win but definitely worth a try. I was estranged from my parents for less than 1 year and still won my appeal and got the max amount.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/08/2024 11:43

Stockinggg · 29/08/2024 11:41

You can appeal it, not sure if you'll win but definitely worth a try. I was estranged from my parents for less than 1 year and still won my appeal and got the max amount.

But the son’s not estranged. What would the appeal be based on?

Beamur · 29/08/2024 11:44

I wasn't married to DH when his 2 eldest children went to Uni. My income was taken into account for their loans.
As others have said already - it's household income they assess.
I'd keep quiet if you were cohabiting before. But you are going to have to top up his loan from your income now.

SophiaJ8 · 29/08/2024 11:44

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/08/2024 11:41

It’s not unkind it’s factual. If you were previously living together and your son didn’t include his income then he has been dishonest (although potentially by mistake although I thought this was well known)

This is correct - ignorance is not a defence in fraud.

If you intend to appeal, you’ll need to be very careful in what you say.

Beamur · 29/08/2024 11:45

I very much doubt you have any grounds to appeal.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 29/08/2024 11:48

If you were living on your own of course you would have a higher maintenance loan as you are fully responsible for your household bills. But you are not, you have had a DP now DH who has contributed to the running of your household so you should in theory have more money than a single parent household

ElaineMBenes · 29/08/2024 11:50

Stockinggg · 29/08/2024 11:41

You can appeal it, not sure if you'll win but definitely worth a try. I was estranged from my parents for less than 1 year and still won my appeal and got the max amount.

On what grounds?

Ivehearditbothways · 29/08/2024 11:51

mumzof4x · 29/08/2024 11:35

@Ivehearditbothways that's not a very kind message
My son is one thing and that is down right honest
It wouldn't occur to him to be otherwise and that wasn't my question to be fair

How many years has your partner been living with you? How many of those years did your children get full maintenance by leaving him off the application?

Lots of people have asked this and you haven’t answered so… I guess that’s because he’s been living with you for years and you don’t want to admit to fraud.

Cerealkiller4U · 29/08/2024 11:53

How long ago did you marry? How long ago did you start living together?

betterangels · 29/08/2024 11:55

I'd be careful appealing if actually he's been living there for a while and should have been on the application long before now.

Elphamouche · 29/08/2024 11:57

It’s shit, but it’s household income, not biological parent income.

I worked 37 hours a week through uni, (and got bullied because of it, so I wouldn’t recommend!!!!) and it was the only way I could manage. My parents couldn’t and didn’t give me a penny.

Iwasafool · 29/08/2024 11:57

.
My GS lives with me but he has only got the £4k as he isn't prepared to lie and say he is totally estranged from his parents although he has little contact and has lived with me for years. It isn't great but those are the rules.

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